For the Love of Ajysyt
"Danny, there are things you can ask me to do for my country, and there are things you cannot. This would be in the cannot column."
"Jack," Daniel sighed as he struggled to find the right words to get that stubborn expression off Jack's face.
"Daniel," Jack shot right back in that mimicking tone of voice that so often left Daniel really wishing he could deck the man.
"Jack, this is an important ceremony. Being asked to participate in a festival to Ajysyt is an incredible honor. If we turn it down without any good reason..."
"Oh, I have a good reason. I have a lot of good reasons. Try this one on them. No." Jack clutched his weapon as though he were either thinking of shooting someone or really in need of a phallic symbol to hide behind. Daniel couldn't quite control a roll of his eyes, and Jack's glare grew lethal.
"Maybe we can claim there's a cultural taboo," Sam suggested helpfully. She was also looking more than a little smug, and after that planet where she'd been forced to dress up in all the female robes and jewelry of a harem girl from a bad thirties film, Daniel couldn't even blame her for getting a little satisfaction out of it.
"We aren't having sex with her."
"No! We aren't," Jack snapped.
"I never said we were," Daniel snapped right back. "In fact, if you were listening, we're forbidden from having sex with her because we have to make our offering to the Earth and not to Ajysyt's human representative."
"Indeed, you made that most clear," Teal'c agreed, and thank god he was handling this okay.
"Hey, what he made clear was that we were going to come, schmooze, and leave. That was the plan, and it was a good one. That plan got me home in time to see the Simpsons."
Daniel dropped onto a bench covered in the bright red leather and silk pillows these people favored. "Yes, Jack, I’m aware I mistranslated a few key terms."
"Yes, a few. And yes, they were particularly important terms, but we agreed to share our seed to ensure them a year of good harvest and good luck, and it won't kill you to share a little seed, Jack," Daniel said as he ripped his glasses off and rested his face on his hand. He just didn't want to see Jack's reaction to that.
"Share a little seed? Daniel, you want me to jerk off on some girl!"
"Woman!" Daniel corrected Jack for the thousandth time. "Consecrated virgin priestess of the goddess Ajysyt."
"Who might be a goa'uld for all we know!" Jack said in that tone that made it clear he thought he won something.
"No goa'uld of which I am aware encourages males to masturbate as part of the worship."
Jack transferred his withering look to Teal'c. "Yes, thank you for that bit of support."
"You are welcome," Teal'c answered. Daniel sighed as Jack's expression turned even more mulish. Some days Daniel suspected that Teal'c understood sarcasm and humor a lot more than he was willing to share.
"Sir, if, as Daniel says, this is the only way to maintain good trading relations, you should consider it. I mean, with their raw trinium deposits, we could have production going within six months, and the tactical advantages of trinium based body armor and weapons...." Sam let her voice trail off, but Daniel could have kissed her for that neat bit of redirection. Daniel could see Jack's struggle as his need to complete his mission competed with his personal values, and Daniel admired Jack for this very reason. Makepeace loved his country just as much as Jack, but he would have agreed to masturbate and come all over a naked woman in a second if it meant access to raw materials or technology, so Daniel really did appreciate the fact that Jack just wasn't that kind of commander.
"Jack, the power is all hers. She's the priestess. When we..." Daniel waved a vague hand in the air, and Teal'c raised an eyebrow while Sam looked downright amused at his discomfort. "we're offering ourselves, our essence and our luck to her, to the planet. This is a deeply religious and spiritual ceremony."
"Which you promised was going to be about eating and spreading some seeds. I was fully in favor of the plan where we helped them plant marigolds," Jack protested, but Daniel could see that he had already made up his mind to go along with this.
"Sir, do you want me to tell the general we'll be a little longer than we thought?" Sam asked, and she couldn't hide the small smile, not even when she coughed and struggled to get her expression back under control. Jack just stalked out of the room, and Daniel could only assume he'd gone to tell General Hammond about Daniel's mistranslation for himself. Well, this was going to be one interesting mission report, that's for sure.
Hours later, as the sun was just starting to rise over the horizon, Daniel, Jack and Teal'c joined a small procession of men heading for the crest of a hill overlooking the small dusty village. Jack was still muttering under his breath as they left the hide covered domes behind, but luckily he was keeping it soft and few of the tribesmen knew any English words, and none knew the words Jack was using.
By the time the twelve of them had reached the designated spot, the sun was just starting to come up over this horizon and the dark purple sky was streaked with orange and pink. Daniel was surprised when he saw the priestess come out in a white robe. She was much older than he had expected, old enough that her graying hair was curling down past her shoulders and her face had the tiny lines of age just starting to claim to the edges of her features. He would put her at forty, maybe. Beside him, Jack actually relaxed, and Daniel knew the man never would have been able to go through with this ceremony if it had been some sixteen year old waiting for them.
The woman started, her soft voice nearly singing the words to an old poem Daniel had been shown in the village. Daniel translated softly for Teal'c and Jack. "She's welcoming the goddess back after winter, promising that she is still untouched and that the seed she receives today is for the goddess, to welcome her home, and not for the priestess. She's calling us the strongest and the luckiest of men and explaining that we spill our seed and sacrifice our chance to have children from it in honor of the goddess."
Jack looked over, and for a second, Daniel thought they were going to have the second round of their argument right there on the hill as the priestess dropped her robe.
"She is well preserved for one who lives a primitive life," Teal'c commented.
"She's beautiful, Teal'c, just say beautiful. And this is the strangest situation I've ever been in," Jack sighed in a resigned voice. "Right, we finish and then we just leave? No helping her clean up or roses or apologies?" Jack flinched as the other men started undoing the drawstrings that held the front of their pants.
The priestess settled herself on the ground in a patch of particularly green grass as she smiled and turned her face to the rising sun.
"Jack, there's nothing to apologize for. This is her function in this ceremony."
"Oh, Daniel, there is something to apologize for, and I don't care what you say about ceremonies. And if I can't actually get this done, they aren't going to sacrifice us on an altar at sunset, are they?" Jack asked. Daniel broke the man-rule and glanced over at Jack. He'd pulled his cock out, but it was soft and definitely not reacting to the sight of a beautiful woman laying under the rising sun. One of the other men cried out and came with a jerk, the semen making an arc that landed on the woman's hip and then slid down toward the grass.
"They aren't going to sacrifice us," Daniel said as he unzipped himself and turned to his own lack of erection. Meanwhile Teal'c finished with a grunt, his semen catching the priestess across the leg before he turned, tucked himself back in and headed back down the hill. "They'll just think we're trying to curse them and refuse to ever trade again," Daniel pointed out as he started running his fingers over his own erection. The stimulation felt good, but Daniel's brain just refused to turn off... refused to stop observing the other men still standing around the priestess.
Did his face look that twisted when he came, he wondered as the third man to finish cried out and his come hit the priestess's shoulder and then trailed down to the valley between her breasts leaving a wet trail behind. The fourth man followed so closely that the two men walked away together.
Daniel turned him attention forcibly to his cock and started a regular pattern, gripping his cock firmly as he tried to find a pattern that would help him overcome this gut-level dislike of performing such a private act in public. And Daniel realized that made him a hypocrite considering how he'd been coming on so strong with Jack. He also realized he was thinking too much because he shouldn't be able to think this much when he had his dick in his hand.
Reaching down, Daniel stroked his balls and studied the woman on the ground in front of him. Her head was thrown back and she had a joyous expression on her face as the sun lit the underside of her chin and her neck and the bottom of her breasts. A half dozen slick trails glistened in the sunlight, and she spread her legs wider as a new one hit without a single sound from the few remaining men. The curled nest of hair between her legs had more dark than gray in it and now tiny drops of come were caught just at the edge. Daniel stroked himself harder finally starting to feel some reaction.
Another man cried out, and Daniel's erection wilted again. Okay, so objectively he could now say that public sex was a turn off for him. Daniel tried closing his eyes and pretending he was in his bathroom, which seemed slightly disrespectful of the religious significance of this moment, but he really couldn't think of another way to get the job done.
Daniel had gotten himself back up to half mast when a rough cry sent his cock withering and Daniel cried out in frustration.
"Calm down, Danny," a voice suggested, and then a familiar hand rested against the back of his hand.
"I'll get there," Daniel said with dogged determination as he opened his eyes to find that he and Jack were the only two left. The priestess was watching them, and for a second, Daniel was terrified they had broken some rule by speaking to each other, but she just smiled at them.
"The way you're going, you're going to pull it off, Danny. Come on, relax and let me help you through this."
"Daniel, if I had to make the sacrifice to save the trinium trade, you do, too. Come on, relax."
Jack brushed a thumb across the head of Daniel's cock, and Daniel shivered at the sudden heat he felt in his groin. Oh god. No, this was not happening. Only Jack's hand had curled around his cock and was gently stroking up and down as his cock hardened.
"Jack." Daniel gasped the word, but Jack kept right on stroking.
"Just go with it, Danny. Close your eyes and pretend."
Daniel brought his hand up and rested it on Jack's shoulder for balance as his body finally started to take a real interest in the proceedings.
"Pretend it's Sha're," Jack whispered.
Daniel shook his head. "It's you, Jack."
"Okay, if you want, you can go with that, but if we're talking fantasy, Sha're is a whole lot better looking," Jack teased, and Daniel almost laughed, but somehow that just trigged a heat that flashed through him, and Daniel had to fist Jack's shirt just to keep upright. He made a low guttural groan, and Jack sped up.
"Oh god. Oh god."
"You're a linguist, Danny, you have to have something better than that."
Daniel yelled and came so hard his knees felt weak. For several seconds, Daniel could only stand clinging to Jack's shoulder as he panted and struggled with the pieces of a fragmented reality. He opened his eyes to find the sharp dark eyes of the priestess studying him. She smiled widely and raised her hands to the sky before singing a new song.
"No, no, you don't understand," Daniel hurried to say as he tucked his penis way. "Niet, niet."
"Daniel, trouble?" Jack asked suspiciously, and Daniel found himself shoved just behind Jack's right shoulder as the soldier stepped forward. The priestess smiled even wider.
"I have a wife. I'm trying to find her," Daniel tried to explain. She stopped her song just long enough to exchange a few words, and then, dancing naked under the risen sun with the drying trails of semen across her body, the priestess continued her joyous song.
"Daniel, start explaining what she's going on about," Jack demanded in that voice that suggested he had just lost all patience.
"She's thinks we're..." Daniel waved a hand between the two of them.
"Oh for pete's sake. I was just giving you a hand since you didn't seem to be doing it right," Jack said as he made a joke out of it, which was actually far better than if he had made a big deal out of it. This was going to be strange enough without Jack being weird.
"It's just that you did it during this ceremony."
"Yeah, and? Look, we're getting the trinium, she's obviously getting a kick out of it, so let's just call this one good and go home."
"She wants us to stay for the evening ceremony now," Daniel said.
"What evening ceremony?"
"The one we're having now because you gave me a hand."
"We just got married, okay? I tried telling her that I had a wife, and she said she hopes the three of us will be very happy together." Daniel crossed his arms over his chest and gave Jack a glare that just dared him to say anything.
"We... Uh... I'm fairly sure that's against regulations. Daniel, maybe you could explain the concept of fuck buddies here."
"It's not just that," Daniel sighed. If it'd been just that, it would have been fairly simple to deal with. "Jack, she got turned on watching us. The virgin priestess had her own orgasm there, which makes this a holy marriage. They are not going to be amused if we announce that we don't want to be married or we want a divorce or whatever."
Jack just stared at Daniel for long seconds as the priestess finished her song to the goddess and started walking around and gathering her materials: a robe, her staff, a small leather bag.
"So, we're married?" Jack asked looking slightly stunned.
"In their eyes, yes," Daniel agreed.
"This makes accidental marriage number two for you Danny. Why don't you just get drunk and wake up in Vegas with someone you don't remember like everyone else?" Jack asked with a good-natured grin. Daniel was still in shock when Jack threw his arm over Daniel's shoulders and aimed him back toward the village. "By the way, the official report is that the last two men left standing on the hill were ceremonially married. Nothing else is getting mentioned."
"What? Oh, of course not, Jack," Daniel agreed as he watched the priestess as she slung her bag over his arm and then slipped her arm around Daniel on his free side so that Daniel was walking between Jack and the priestess. She laughed and said something.
"What'd she say?" Jack asked.
"She says she would almost be willing to give up her job as priestess to be the fourth in our marriage," Daniel translated. Jack got his cocky look one, the one that screamed to the world that yeah, he still had it. Daniel rolled his eyes and the priestess laughed. The things they did for their country, Daniel thought to himself as they reached the edge of the village where the others were waiting.
"Hey kids," Jack called out as he spotted Teal'c and Sam. "You're never going to guess what happened to us on the way to the fertility ceremony."