Parts 24, 25, 26, and 27 of Kin of the Heart
Rated SAFE

Do Unto Others

Angel waited until Xander reached the main hallway before he forced a window open and hurried after him. The boy smelled of despair and Angel's bloodmark and he dragged his feet down the hall. Angel hadn't exactly been expecting celebrations, but the confrontation had gone far better than he'd expected. That had led him to hope for some relief from Xander. Instead, he was so lost in misery that he didn't notice anyone behind him until Angel reached out and rested his hand on Xander's shoulder. With a shriek, Xander jumped and spun around, his hand already going to his cinquedea hidden within his clothing.

"Way to give a guy a heart attack," Xander complained weakly once he saw who had touched him. Angel didn't answer, but he also didn't move his hand away as he stepped to Xander's side, studying the boy's expression for some hint of how he felt. Xander frowned. "And what are you doing here?"

"I thought I would walk you home."

Xander shrugged. "I thought I would get Giles to give me a ride." He started walking again, toward the library. The thought of Xander near Wesley made his fangs itch and Angelus stir restlessly under his soul.

"You want Giles instead of me?" Angel asked, not sure if he understood. Maybe Xander did blame him for not protecting him from Faith. Maybe Xander saw him as being no better than Jessica Harris who had never defended him from his father's verbal and emotional abuse, but then again Xander had forgiven his mother just as he forgave Faith. Xander had stopped in the middle of the dim hallway to stare at Angel strangely.

"Okay, this is a little freaky because that actually looks like a hurt face. You know, if you aren't careful someone is going to accuse you of having actual facial expressions the way you've been going lately." Xander crossed his arms and just stared.

"I'm just asking if you'd rather have Giles drive you home. Do you not want to walk?" Angel asked as he kept his face carefully neutral.

Again, Xander shrugged as if it didn't matter to him. "I just don't want to hang you up. You are way behind tonight in the killing of vampires and demons and baddies, oh my. That redemption of yours will not earn itself, buddy." He gave a huff of laughter and started walking again, taking the turn toward the library, and for a half second, Angel didn't react. He was too shocked at the idea that Xander expected to take a backseat to Angel's demon fighting. After that frozen second, Angel reached out and caught Xander's arm, pulling him toward the exit.

With a startled gasp, Xander grabbed at Angel to keep from being pulled off-balance, and then he started walking where Angel pulled. "Okay, what is that face for because that's looking like a cross between you found Spike wanking in your living room and I trekked Argo slime through the house. What is wrong with you today?"

The night air had just a little chill to it as he hurried Xander down the stairs, his hand still on the boy's shoulder to keep him close. Outside, he could smell the faint trace of Spike's cigarette and Cordelia's perfume, so he trusted she would get home safely, although he wouldn't trust either of them to pass up a chance to verbally torture each other. For a second, Angel couldn't even come up with enough words to describe what was wrong with him. He could speak for a decade and not cover it all. Instead of that, he focused on his worst sin lately. "I shouldn't have been out killing demons when you and Faith needed me."

Xander sighed and gave Angel that look that suggested that Angel was doing something odd again. "No needing to be had here. I managed to get my end off quite effectively, thank you. Twice. One and a half maybe," he corrected himself with a twisted smile on his face, "but that first time, that was just shock, so I cannot be blamed for the sudden, explosive loss of all control."

Pulling Xander a little closer, Angel said softly, "You don't have to joke about it."

"Yes, yes I do. Laughter and repression are the words of the day, and as my therapists point out, repression is not with the healthy..." Xander paused for a second and then gave a little huff of laughter. "Not that we're going to live long enough for me to have high blood pressure if we can't stop the mayor."

"We'll stop him," Angel said grimly. If he had to eat every one of the mayor's lieutenants in order to get information on the Ascension, he would, but they would beat the mayor. "And if your therapists say you should worry about your blood pressure, you should," he finished firmly. He had no idea what blood pressure meant, but he knew there were medicines for those who had bad blood pressure, and Angel made a mental note to ask someone next time they were in LA to see if Xander needed some.

Xander poked an elbow in his stomach. "You know, I'm probably the mentally healthiest teenager in three states. I could stop with the therapy now."

"No."

"Overprotective much?"

Angel didn't even have to think about his answer to that one. "Yes."

"That was supposed to be a not-so-thinly-veiled insult on your weirdness."

Angel considered the irony of Xander's comment. Walking down the street, he could smell the dirt of newly risen vampires and the cold iron of a Pewar demon and the sheer power of the Hellmouth leaking from the ground like pus from an infected wound. The air itself was oppressive and deadly, pressing in on them with the stink of corruption and malice, and Xander couldn't sense any of it. Like most humans, he was blind to the irresistible power lurking under every inch of Sunnydale. Unlike most humans, Xander seemed immune. Angel tightened his hold on Xander's shoulder. "I should be protecting you more."

"Okay, who put spoiled blood on your Wheaties this morning, and that is rhetorical because blood on Wheaties is too gross even for Spike, but you get my point."

A year or two ago, Angel wouldn't have understood his point, but he did. Taking a deep breath, he tried to decide how much to share with Xander. A part of him still wanted to shield Xander, to protect him from the darker side of Sunnydale and himself. That's the part of him that made the decision to not tell Xander about the Army base now running under the university. Xander shouldn't have to fight humans or deal with manipulating and terrorizing them. But from the expression on Xander's face, Angel knew he wasn't going to get away with saying nothing. "I should have been around to see that Faith was in trouble. I should have stopped her before she had a chance to hurt you," he finally admitted.

"She didn't hurt me as much as she just... kinda..." Xander waved a hand incoherently while falling silent.

"Hurt you?" Angel guessed. Xander sent him a dirty look.

"Only less with the hurt and more with the intense pleasure followed by intense discomfort. However, that is not your fault." Xander emphasized his point with a vicious finger poke to Angel's stomach. "Remember the whole discussion I had with my therapist about how I wasn't to blame for my parents and their divorce and the general weirdness that followed? Remember that?"

Angel frowned, wondering how they had turned to this subject. "You aren't to blame for Tony Harris' idiocy."

"Exactly," Xander said triumphantly. "And you aren't to blame for Faith. Faith isn't even totally to blame for Faith, although she gets more blame than you do. And for that matter, I wasn't exactly screaming 'no' at the top of my lungs. I was more with the making inappropriate moaning noises and one manly scream when she did this thing with her finger that I will never again admit to." Xander wiggled a finger and then blushed brightly enough that Angel could smell the blood just under his skin. What in the world could Faith do with one finger that had created such turmoil, he wondered.

Xander shook his head as though reading Angel's mind. "Seriously, don't ask. I am a big old not-telling boy on that front."

Angel sighed. First Faith could not trust him with her pain and fear and now Xander did not trust him with his shame. If Angel planned to make his family his new goal, he had made a poor start of it. "I should have been around more."

"Hey, you were off trying to save the world, and world-saving is just slightly more important than babysitting... not that I need a babysitter because adult here."

Temptation pulled at Angel, urged him to allow that tacit lie to remain. If Xander saw him as the champion, then he could continue to play hero, but Spike was right—he was ridiculous. And even worse, his self-deluded behavior was hurting everyone around him, everyone he cared about. "That's just it," Angel admitted slowly, the words about as painful as the truth he carried in his gut. "It's not the world I'm worried about. This whole time, every time I go out to hunt vampires and try and track down one more rumor, I always have that promise of redemption lurking in the back of my mind."

"Which is good. Redemption is very good," Xander offered, obviously missing the point.

"No, it's not." Angel kept his eyes focused on the distant street lamps, their light creating yellow pools like pus or old paper laying in circles on the street. He needed Xander to understand this and not idolize him. In so many ways, Xander was his link to reality, and if Xander couldn't grasp this reality, then he couldn't keep Angel on the straight and narrow when Angel's own pathetic needs outweighed his common sense.

"Okay, you officially lost me, and usually I get lost because I stop listening to you somewhere along the way, but this time, you just aren't making sense."

For minutes, they walked in silence, in and out of yellow pools of light as Angel struggled with the words to explain this new truth he had searched out in himself. He finally ended up returning to old words—words of his childhood that had nearly vanished under the weight of his years. "'Good Works, which are the fruits of Faith, and follow after Justification, cannot put away our sins.'" Angel kept his steps even and his eyes forward even though he wanted to find a nice alley. His demon scurried through his soul with little rat claws digging into him. "I've ignored that. I've spent my life ignoring that."

Xander frowned at him. "Which should be easy considering that it doesn't make any sense, but that's just me. I'm really good at ignoring things that require more than three syllables."

"You aren't stupid."

"Nope," Xander agreed cheerfully enough, "but I’m good at playing stupid. You should try it sometime. And usually my stupid impression makes you roll your eyes way faster than this. Seriously, Angel, what is up with you?"

Angel tightened his jaw. "I'm damned."

"In a 'the world is going to end and go to hell and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it' kind of way, because if that's the case, we so need to go talk to Giles and Buffy." Xander stopped in the middle of the street, and the arm Angel had flung over the boy's shoulders meant that he had to stop with him.

"I'm a fool for believing I can redeem myself. Even when I try to do good, I put you at risk. I put Faith and Buffy at risk. If the Council had realized—"

"And that's one Whoo-Hoo for us, "Xander interrupted firmly, "because they didn't realize."

"It shouldn't have come down to Giles and Calendar scaring them out of town."

Xander crossed his arm and frowned up at Angel much like the time Spike had won a bet and used his make-up on Angel, only this time, there was no amusement mixed in with the shock and dismay. "Okay, this is still me officially lost."

Angel growled, frustrated at how many words Xander was requiring to understand a fairly simple concept. "I'm trying to trick God into forgiving me for my sins. God isn't going to be persuaded by a few good deeds on my part. 'Works done before the grace of Christ, and the Inspiration of his Spirit, are not pleasant to God.'" Angel shook his head, his anger and fear making his demon howl in through his mind. "I haven't thought of those words in quite a while, but they're true," he finished softly. Xander needed to accept this as Angel had, and then they could focus on building something that wasn't founded on lies and false hope.

"I can see why you were not with the thinking about them because that is just slightly totally depressing," Xander said slowly, his hand coming up to rest on Angel's arm. "Tell me that's not how you see the world, because if it is, you so need therapy way more than I do."

"No, I don't. I try to save the world only to save myself; that does not make me a good person. I ignore my family and let them get hurt because of my selfish need to prove something or earn something. I protect Spike because I want him in my life despite the evil he does."

"Which is sounding faintly human," Xander pointed out.

"Everything I do is tainted with my own selfishness. I was damned from the moment I was born and I keep trying to find repentance and redemption, but really I'm just playing one more game. And this time, you're the one who got hurt. You and Faith." Angel took a step back, breaking contact between himself and Xander just as his demon's need to grab and hold and possess nearly overwhelmed him. Not waiting for Xander, he started down the street again, moving fast enough that Xander almost had to run to keep up. Xander grabbed at the arm of his coat, clinging to him, and Angel slowed rather than force Xander to let go of him. "Faith couldn't come to me because she saw that I was too busy with this quest of mine. I have failed," Angel insisted firmly, his eyes still straight ahead as he walked.

"Angel, you seriously need to suck down some Prozac."

"I need to face reality. This quest for redemption, it was Whistler's game from the start. If I was predestined for heaven, I wouldn't have gone so wrong in the first place. I wouldn't have followed Darla out into that alley at all."

"Wait... so fucking up means God hates you?" Xander demanded loudly enough that a human hurrying to his car stopped to look at them strangely. However, Xander ignored that as he just went on. "You need massive amounts of Prozac, only maybe not too much because you and drugs are not good. But under your theory, I'm damned because I screwed up with Faith, and Faith is damned because if she wasn't, then bad things wouldn't have happened to her, and all my mom's work with trying to put together a life that's not fully of Tony Harris' crap... that's all pretty much worthless." Xander's voice rose to a near shout, and Angel opened his mouth to reassure him. Xander hadn't done anything wrong... ever. And Faith didn't deserve the abuse she had suffered, and as much as Angel still disliked Jessica Harris, she had changed her life and started to repair the damage she had done to her relationship with Xander. However, he couldn't say any of this because Xander was still shouting. "You've said plenty of stupid shit in your time, but that's right up there."

"I'm not talking about other people's sins. I'm talking about me. My quest kept me from doing what a good man would have done." Angel willed Xander to understand.

"So, you just want to give up on being a good person?" Xander demanded. "What? Do you want to go back to killing nuns? Because if that's the case, I'm so kicking your ass, or at least doing my best on the ass-kicking front before I get turned into the ass-kickee because I don't have a lot of illusions about what would happen in a knock-down drag out fight with you. The point here is that giving up is never of the good."

"I'm not giving up on trying to do the right thing," Angel reassured him. He should have considered how Xander might misinterpret this situation. Angel couldn't even do this right.

Xander held up his two hands to make a "T" out of them. "Time out. Are you trying to get me to forget all my trouble by confusing the shit out of me? I have to say, it's working."

Angel stopped and looked at Xander. Despite fear and danger and hormones, Xander always tried to do the right thing; Angel couldn’t say that about himself. Even now, he couldn't say that. He just wanted to avoid hell, but since he couldn't do that through redeeming the evil in his heart, he was just going to have to try to not die. Carefully selecting his words, Angel tried again to explain reality to an obdurate teenager who seemed to willfully misunderstand him at every turn. "I'm going to try and be a moral person, but I'm giving up any illusion I have about redeeming my past."

"So, you're just assuming you're hell-bound," Xander summarized. Angel had to struggle to not flinch away from the cold truth Xander offered him.

"I'd like to avoid hell as long as I can."

"But you're assuming you're hell-bound," he repeated.

"Vampires have been known to live for thousands of years, Xander."

"After which, you assume you're hell-bound."

Xander was glaring at him angrily, his arms crossed over his chest. With a sigh, Angel looked around the dark street and wondered why this had seemed such an easy concept to accept when he talked with Spike and so difficult now. Maybe he simply didn't want to accept the truth as Xander presented it, but his acceptance didn't matter. He was hell-bound.

Xander just looked even more angry as Angel allowed the silence to continue. "We need to have Giles check for ghostly possessions because you're sounding weirdly like your father what with the thinking of yourself as evil and worthless."

That roused Angel's own anger. "I don't think I'm worthless. I will stop the mayor."

"And yet, you're calling yourself hell-bound."

"You seem to be the one saying that," Angel pointed out.

"Because you're the one thinking it. Angel, your daddy issues are showing."

The darkness brightened and sharpened as his vampiric vision took over, but Xander didn't back away from his yellow-eyed anger. "I do not have issues with my father," Angel growled, his voice dangerously low.

"Your issues have issues. My issues don't have as many issues as your issues. My issues dream of growing up and being as issuey as your issues," Xander insisted with a dramatic wave of his arms.

Without a word, Angel started walking again. Why did he ever believe this would be easy? Xander never made anything easy.

Xander came running after him again. "Angel, you have to talk to someone."

"There's nothing to talk about," Angel said, his jaw tight with emotions he couldn't even identify.

"Okay, you went from believing that Whistler had giving you the keys to heaven and you just had to do a bit of polishing to thinking that you're hell-bound. Trust me, there is much talking to be had. Next month's therapy is all about you. You'd better beat the mayor because you're going to be busy singing karaoke for Lorne and spilling your guts to the good doctor for at least a week." Xander almost sounded amused about that, and Angel glared at the boy trotting beside him.

"This isn't about me not seeing things clearly, Xander. This is about good and evil. You've seen evil; you know hell exists, so you have to know heaven exists, too. This is about the fact that I have to face reality." Angel took a breath and tried once more to get Xander to see reality. "If I keep believing Whistler's lie, I'm going to get myself and the rest of you killed on this Quixote's mission."

"Ah, but Whistler can't lie, oh great self-flagellating one. He can obfuscate and confuse and omit, but D'fatum demons are not with the lying."

"I'm not going to therapy."

"If I was strong enough, I'd just drag you the way you dragged me," Xander threatened.

"You aren't."

"I could call Lorne."

"Buffy would slay him," Angel countered, and as he expected, that made Xander pause.

"Okay, that would be majorly bad," Xander admitted after a second. They walked down the street side by side, and not even Angel's anger could prevent him from resting his hand at the back of Xander's back. The boy meant well. He was wrong in trying to convince Angel to continue on his quest for redemption, and after seeing the consequences of the foolishness, nothing he said would change Angel's mind, but any wrong he did, he did out of the goodness of his heart. Angel understood that.

"So, you're off on good and evil and metaphysical crap, right?" Xander asked, but then he didn't wait for an answer. "Do you believe in signs? I mean, not the street sign kind of signs because of course you would believe in that, but the kind of signs where God shoves something in your face when you're being an idiot?"

Angel laughed grimly. "I don't think God cares much about me."

"Yeah... right," Xander said without even trying to pretend that he believed. "Only, look there before you go assuming." Xander pointed and Angel looked over to see a Catholic cathedral dimly lit and surrounded by a wrought iron fence. They rarely patrolled the attached cemetery because the prevalence of crosses and blessed and consecrated ground made it particularly unfriendly to newly risen vampires who often dusted before they could claw their way to the street. The tall stained-glass windows were normally dark, but tonight a faint light made the saints' faces glow, and a lamp up front shone brightly down on a young priest balanced on a ladder. His arms were stretched up as he reached behind a cross hanging over the door.

"It's just a church," Angel said. His father would have condemned the church as a center of papacy and papal abuse of religion, and he would have condemned the young priest as a poppet of a foreign ruler and a corrupt minister.

"Uh, huh. And priests are always out in the middle of the night fixing the cross," Xander said sarcastically. Then he was trotting across the street toward the open gate and the church before Angel could grab him. A vampire appeared around the corner a block down, and with a growl, Angel went after Xander, cringing away from the holy images, but refusing to leave Xander. Of course, he doubted that any of the fledges or minions in the area would risk coming even this close to a church, but if he doubted wrong and Xander died, he would not forgive himself. So Angel found himself standing just inside the fence looking up at the gold cross and the face of a wide-eyed priest who looked younger than some of Angel's shoes.

Xander waved and called up. "Hey, I have a life and death and heaven and hell kinda dilemma down here. If I fix your cross, could you answer a question?"

The priest looked at Xander for a second before he wiped his hands on a rag and started down the ladder. "Answers from God don't require payment," he said. He reached the bottom and smiled at both of them, but Angel simply stood behind Xander and considered the priest with emotional detachment.

"Good because I'm broke. But anyway, I'll fix your cross, and do it way better than you are because that eyebolt is not going to hold," Xander said as he craned his neck up at the priest's work. "Trust me, I have lots of experience with broken stuff. But I was hoping you'd talk to my friend about why he is not doomed to hell just because he fu— shit—I mean, um, because he messed up." Even from behind, Angel could see Xander's ears turn bright red.

"Xander," Angel said softly, hoping the boy would give this up now that he had embarrassed himself and amused the priest.

"Nope," Xander insisted. "The man is going to show me to his tools, and then you and he are going to talk the nature of souls and hell and forgiveness while I keep his cross from falling off and hitting someone in the head."

The priest wasn't even trying to hide his grin now. His face was round with the first hint of baldness starting to thin his dark hair even though he couldn’t be more than twenty-five. "Your friend is rather determined."

"You have no idea," Angel said dryly. He was still trying to decide how the evening had gone from him comforting Xander to Xander forcing him into a church. His own father had given up trying to force Liam to attend services when Liam turned seventeen, about the same time Liam threatened to hit his father back if the man continued using the switch.

"Good friends are a blessing. I'm Father Carnelias although most people call me Peter around here. I'm new, so if I don't recognize you from mass, I'm sorry."

"There's enough sorry going on around here already," Xander said softly. "And we haven't really made it to church very often lately... or ever... which is not to suggest we're anti-god or pro-devil or anything like that because we are firmly on the anti-Satan bus," Xander said. "Xander Harris, and this is Angel." Xander stuck his hand out, and Father Carnelias shook it, his smile even wider.

"So many people do miss church. Are you Catholic?" Father Carnelias focused on Angel, and for one second, Angel considered just making a run for it and waiting until Xander left before following him home. The glare Xander gave him stopped him.

"My grandmother was... my father's mother," Angel admitted.

"Your father converted."

Angel wasn't sure if convert was the right word, but his father had certainly made a political decision to abandon and publicly vilify a church that had grown unpopular. "It made it easier for him to... impress certain people," Angel admitted.

"Ah. So, perhaps you would like to come in while I show Xander where I keep the tools." He stepped aside and gestured toward the door to the main church.

"You don't have to... Xander just worries too much," Angel said, hoping the priest could come up with an excuse that would mollify Xander.

"No, I don't have to," the father mused, "but that is why I became a priest, because I enjoy talking to people. It's late and remarkably few people come in here after dark."

Angel glared at Xander even as he took one step toward the priest and the church. The boy had not annoyed him this much in years.

Xander just smiled back at him. "You can thank me later, after you get over being mad. That's what family does, they piss each other off in the name of helping, so consider this my familyish deed for the week." Xander patted him on the arm as he followed. For the first time in over two hundred and fifty years, Angel walked into a church without the intention to murder everyone within. He might, however, murder Xander. Xander's hand rested against his back as they followed Father Carnelias into the lavish chapel.

Twists and Turns of Fate

"Bloody hell, the pouf's goin' to whip the skin off me if he finds out I showed you this place," Spike growled, ducking under a tree branch.

"Okay, not to get weirdly personal or anything, but don't you like it when he does that? And that is way disturbing," Xander complained as he followed Spike through the woods.

"You should try a little pain with your pleasure, pet. I'd be happy ta give you a guided tour." Spike stopped and considered Xander with a lewd expression that was clear even by moonlight. Actually, the moonlight gave Spike even more lewd than he normally had in his expression, and that was saying something.

Funny enough, before Faith, Xander knew he would have blushed brilliant red at the offer. Now... now sex wasn't as blush-worthy. Yeah, it'd been great. Compared to his sock puppet of love, it was fabulous and way less likely to cause wrist strain. But the aftermath kinda took the shine off. He'd liked having Cordelia to walk to class and walking the cheerleaders home from practice and bouncing between Buffy's table and Cordelia's table at lunch. Yep, it was stressful keeping all his girls happy, but he'd enjoyed the stress.

Now he had front row tickets for John Lee's droolfest as he chased after Cordy. Xander's only consolation was that he was never getting in her pants. Besides, Cordelia had made it pretty clear that she considered herself close enough to graduation that only college men were appropriate for her level of perfection. And yet, despite Cordelia's brutal comments about 'immature high school boys,' John Lee kept right on shoveling the gifts at her. Trust Cordy to land on her feet. And weirdly enough, he was feeling feetish himself. He was almost weirded out about how on his feet he felt because he'd lost Cordelia. He should be devastated. Instead he was just a little sad but definitely on his feet. If he were still being depressed, he would definitely say they were fated to break up.

Xander stopped creeping through the bushes for a second to really look at Spike. "You know, the whole hitting on me thing is actually a relief. Angel is acting weird enough for all of us, so you being inappropriate is strangely comforting."

"Relief and comfort isn't what I was going for, is it?" Spike complained.

"This is me with the not wanting to know what you were going for. You and the vampy crowd are not even logical on your good days," Xander answered. He shouldn't been this cheerful and bantery... and yet, he was.

"Me? You lot with souls are soddin' barmy."

"So, we both agree that Angel is way out there in la-la land?" Xander asked. Spike stopped and leaned against a tree before looking Xander up and down.

"He's fucking 'round the twist, pet. He went to a bloody church the other night. I followed him out expecting a fight, and he stopped and had fucking tea with a priest. I thought he was nutters before, but the last week he's been even worse."

Xander blinked in surprise. Angel hadn't been going out as much lately, but he had no idea that he'd gone back to Father Carnelias.

"Bloody hell, that's your happy face. You knew he was going to see this bloke, didn't you?" Spike demanded. "I'm surrounded by nutters. I must have sodding well pissed on the universe's cornflakes in a previous life to deserve this hell." Spike looked like angry, but it was the kind of angry he got when Xander or Faith did something he considered particularly stupid and endearing.

"You like nutters," Xander pointed out with ruthless honesty.

"Ponce." After insulting him with a weird Britishism, Spike turned back toward the woods.

"So," Xander asked casually, "how often has Angel gone to see Father Carnelias?"

"Father Carnelias, is it?" Spike glanced over his shoulder.

"Yes, and there will be no eating of nice priests."

"Bloody hell, I'm on a fucking leash," Spike sighed dramatically. "Right then, here's the sod's secret hideaway." Spike stopped in front of a low concrete building without any windows. The metal door had a warning sign for high-voltage, but there weren't any wires going into or out of the building.

"This is where he's been hanging out?" Xander asked as he walked closer. Spike snatched him by the shoulder and pulled him back so fast that Xander stumbled into Spike's chest, and Spike's arms caught him around the waist.

"Don't know what Angel has in there, but he's got traps set up around here. Best watch your step, pet."

Xander looked around at the empty woods and weeds and a stray beer can tossed under a bush. "Okay, I’m watching the stepping, and I'm seeing a big nothing."

"Blind as a bat," Spike complained softly, and then his hands were on Xander's arms, guiding him in a winding path through the grass and weeds in front of the concrete shed. "If I get you killed in one of Angel's traps, the bastard will brood for the next century.

"I can't say I'd be too happy about the being dead, either."

"Complain, complain."

"If I'm dead, yeah!"

"If you're dead, you won't be complainin' about anything."

"Dead hasn't stopped you from being a whiny pants," Xander pointed out as they reached the door to the strange, squat structure. Spike yanked him around by the arm and growled in his face.

"A whiny pants? You soddin' take that back you little wanker."

"Hey, with Faith gone, you wank as much as I do!"

Spike laughed as he pulled a lock pick out of his duster. "Don't count on it. I still get my end off with Angel, pet." Spike gave him an eyebrow wiggle before he went to one knee in front of the locked door.

"Whatever," Xander said with a dramatic eyeroll of his own.

"I bloody love it when he pins me down and stuffs that big cock of his up my arse. If ya think Faith's finger could set off fireworks, just imagine how it feels to have a great cock shoved up there. Then he bites, and it's bloody brilliant.... well fuck." Spike pushed the door all the way open. Xander leaned over Spike's back to look inside.

"Hello? Quick, you have to help me." A brown-haired man with envy-worthy shoulders and a ridiculously handsome face stood behind the bars in a cage that took up half the room in the windowless building. "You need to call the police. I've been kidnapped by a man who might come back any time."

"I was expecting some lunacy like the Vampire Church of Jesus Christ, not a boxed meal," Spike said. He flashed into gameface as he stood up and took a step forward. The man in the cage quickly backed up to the back of his cell and dropped into a fighting stance.

"Hey, no eating the... um... okay, I really don't quite know what to make of this," Xander finished weakly as he made a grab for Spike's arm. He knew full well that Spike chose to stop because Spike was only about a hundred times stronger than he was, but at least there was no eating of the guy in the cage... yet.

"You're a hostile," the man said, disgust in his voice.

"Not feeling particularly hostile, but I am a bit peckish, how about you, pet?" Spike reached around and slipped an arm around Xander's waist.

"I'm actually more confused than anything else. Spike, is he human?"

"Of course I'm human!" the man objected loudly as Spike sniffed the air.

"Smells like. If you want, I can taste him and find out." Spike smiled viciously, and the guy in the cage turned the color white that you normally find in a bottle of that cheap paste you use in grade school.

"Okay, no eating or scaring of guy until he has a heart attack," Xander amended himself. "And why is Angel hanging out with a guy in a cage?"

"Don't know. If he wanted to get kinky, I would have been more than happy ta play the part of the mouthy prisoner." Spike backed up and leaned against the wall next to the door as he watched the new guy. "Stay back from the bars, pet, we don't actually know if he has any weapons."

At that, Xander stumbled back and pressed as close to Spike as he could without looking like a complete and total wuss. For his part, the guy in the cage just looked totally confused as he looked from Xander to Spike and back again.

"What do you want?" he finally asked, his fists still held ready, which seemed a little pointless because he was on the other side of bars.

"Not to sound cliché, but world peace would be nice." Xander shrugged and the other guy looked extra special confused.

"Who are you?"

Xander might have answered except Spike put a hand over his mouth. "Seems like you're the one who needs to be answering some questions. So, who the fuck are you?"

"I won't break. You won't get anything out of me."

Xander looked over at Spike, and that was definitely an amused grin on the vamps face. "Mate, if I want to break ya, I will. You don't seem worth the effort, but if ya make me open that cage to get answers, I'm not leaving without doing some damage."

"Hey, no eating of humans," Xander pointed out.

"He bloody started it, so that puts him on the short list of blood donors," Spike pointed out. "Bloody hell, I'm justifying my eating habits. I hope your soddin' happy," Spike snarled.

"If it means you aren't going to eat random guy—deliriously happy," Xander quickly answered. Yeah, he knew that Spike fed from donors at the suck houses and got in bar fights on the dock just to have an excuse to eat some ship worker guy; however, he didn't want to be anywhere suck-adjacent for any of it. "Look, I'm—" Xander stopped when Spike's hand again clapped over his mouth.

"No giving the prisoner information, pet. Consider that rule one of capture and terrorize."

Xander pushed Spike's hand away. "I really don't want to know the rules for terrorizing. I’m a big old 'no' on all forms of terror, including terrorizing some guy in a cage. So tell him we aren't going to kill him and make nice," Xander said as he gestured toward the cage. Now the guy in there had an expression Spike liked to call gobsmacked. His jaw was literally hanging a bit, just enough to show perfect teeth. This guy should seriously consider a job in modeling.

"Can't do that, pet," Spike shrugged. "I'm not the one who put him in there."

"Oh shit." Xander looked away from Spike and at the cage. "Oh no. No no no. Please tell me that this isn't like loss-of-soul bad. Because I sent Angel to the priest to talk about soul-saving, not soul losing. Oh god, you don't think that the priest actually saved Angel's soul and sent it on to heaven or purgatory or something and just left the vampire parts behind, do you? Because I like vampire you, but vampire him is a little scary in a peeing your pants when he glares at you kind of way."

"And I'm not?" Spike demanded, and he actually managed to look hurt.

"You're way more sane than he is."

"True, but I'm so much better at corrupting young no-longer-virgins," Spike smirked.

"Who the hell are you people?" the guy in the cage demanded loudly.

"They're two meddlers," Angel said from the door, and that was definitely not a happy face. "Spike, get him out of here," Angel said stiffly. Before Xander could object, Spike had grabbed him by the arm and was shoving him toward the exit. No way was he going that easily, though. On his way past Angel, he caught the vamp's arm in both hands.

"No way am I leaving," Xander objected as he held on for all he was worth.

"Bloody fuck," Spike snarled, and then he yanked Xander so hard that Xander's feet came off the ground, but he held on. Angel ended up stumbling to the side and when he lost his balance, Angel slammed both of them into the wall with Xander smushed between Spike and Angel.

With a snarl, Angel jerked back, but Xander stubbornly clung, and this time the force of Angel's pull brought Spike stumbling after because he wouldn't let go of Xander's waist. His hands slipped, and fingers scrambled at his legs before Spike caught him by the knees and started pulling back, trying to wrestle him away from Angel. If not for the two snarling vampires using him like a rope in tug of war, Xander really would have laughed. As it was, his fingers were starting to ache from trying to hold onto Angel.

"Get him out," Angel snapped.

"I'm fucking trying. You get him to let go of your fucking arm."

Angel did just that, pulling at Xander's fingers, but Xander just made a grab for Angel's belt. "How about just telling me what the hell is going on because I am not okay with getting shoved around here. My testosterone levels are hitting new lows and damaging my fragile male ego," Xander loudly complained as he used a foot to try and push Spike away. "And if you've gone evil, I want an update on how, when and where, and I may let Spike eat Father Peter if he went and damaged your soul instead of reassuring it."

That stopped Angel. His hands paused in their task of pulling Xander's grip loose. "If I've gone evil?" Angel asked, clearly confused, but then this whole room was just a nexus of confusion. The guy in the cage was looking ready to collapse with confusion. "Why would you think I've gone evil?" Angel asked quietly. Either Spike sensed a change or Angel did something to make him back off, because Spike lowered Xander so that his feet touched ground.

"I don't know... the guy in the cage maybe?" Xander guessed, still not letting go of Angel's belt as he got his feet under him. He'd learned over the years that vampires cheated when they wrestled. Actually, they cheated at pretty much everything. "When you have a soul and the whole good-guy image going, you don't normally put guys in cages... at least not without trials and lawyers and due process."

"Or leather and whips and kinky toys," Spike added. Xander just ignored him.

"You thought I'd turned evil?" Angel asked again, his expression caught somewhere between hurt and shocked.

"I didn't, Peaches," Spike quickly added. Xander glared at him, but Spike just shrugged. "Without the soul, you sure wouldn't have put him someplace with a toilet and a sink, and he's not exactly suffering any abuse... at least not yet. If you had lost that shiny soul of yours, I'd expect a pretty boy like that to have a lot more marks on him. I'd expect him to be chained up against a wall with his back striped from a cane or whip and his shirt hanging in tatters."

"Okay, TMI," Xander said, feeling faintly nauseous. He really wanted to pretend that pre-soul Angel would never have done anything quite that bad, which was funny because he knew Angelus had done way worse. Hell, Angelus offered to do worse to him and make him enjoy it.

"I'm not evil, and I'm not going to kill or main Riley," Angel said softly, "but you need to leave."

"If you're human, you have to help me. They're monsters," the guy—Riley—said from his cage.

"We're not human, but we're more natural than that abomination you have built under the campus." Angel put a hand on Xander's chest and pushed him back a step before he walked up to the front of the cage. "And you are too stupid to see what is under your nose. Step back from the door," he ordered as he pulled out a key. "Spike, take the boy home."

"The boy isn't going anywhere unless you want to make the boy unhappy for a very long time, and an unhappy *boy* is going to lead to problems that you can't even imagine," Xander said as he danced away from Spike. With human reflexes, that just meant that Spike had to work a little harder before catching him around the waist and pulling him close.

"This isn't safe, what I'm doing," Angel said as he turned to face Xander. Riley took the opportunity to strike out through the bars of his cage, landing a vicious blow low on Angel's back. Angel grunted and then turned long enough to punch Riley in the face hard enough to send him reeling back until he crashed into the far wall. Without even acknowledging the mini-fight, Angel turned back. "I just want you safe."

Xander snorted and shoved ineffectually at Spike's arm that imprisoned him. "Newsflash—we're on a hellmouth. We're never safe. And if you're going somewhere unsafe, I want to be that unsafe place with you as opposed to all the other unsafe place in this town, and face it, this whole town is unsafe."

"Please," Angel said, his jaw tightening.

"No way. So, Riley, are you okay in there?" Xander asked as the guy picked himself back up from the floor. "Xander Harr—" the rest was muffled as Spike slapped a hand over his mouth.

"William," Angel growled.

"He's a fast bugger. Didn't see it coming, did I?"

For a second, Angel just continued to growl, a low constant vibration that Xander could feel in his bones. "If this goes wrong, you will do exactly what I tell you to do," Angel finally snapped. "Spike, you remember Budapest?"

Spike nodded, and Xander could feel the tension between them like when they prepared to hunt together, only this time, Riley was looking like the prey and Xander was really hoping that things were not as fucked up as they seemed to be. Angel stepped forward and slapped Spike on the arm before slipping him one seriously ugly gold and green ring. Spike frowned, but Angel had already turned his back.

"Stay at my side," Angel said to Xander before he turned back to the cage and unlocked the door.

"I won't tell you anything no matter what you do to me," Riley said, his back straight and sweat gathering at the edge of his hairline.

"You already told me everything I needed," Angel said. "Come out."

Riley looked from Angel to Xander, his hands curling into fists and relaxing and curling again nervously.

"Now." Angel ordered sharply. Riley clenched his teeth hard enough to make his jaw bulge, but he walked slowly toward Angel and the open door. Spike had vanished back out into the night, and Xander stepped to the far side of Angel and rested his hand on Angel's back. If Riley was going to keep pissing Angel off, Xander was definitely going to have to calm him down.

"Riley, small piece of advice, don't piss off vampires when they're already pissed because they are way stronger than they look," Xander offered softly. Riley cast him a hateful glare, but he did move a little faster. As soon as came out, Angel grabbed him by the arm and started pushing him toward the door.

"Xander, stay right behind me. With your luck, you'll set off every trap and get yourself killed."

"Thank you for that vote of confidence," Xander muttered, but he also walked as close to Angel as he dare without making himself a target if Riley decided to make a move. "Any chance you could tell us where we're going that's so dangerous? Because I've seen danger, and you usually aren't this twitchy about storming the castle."

Angel didn't answer immediately as he guided all three of them on a winding path through the clearing. "We're going to see a man about a military installation under the university."

"A man as in a man-man or a demon man or a something in-between man?"

"A general."

"What?" Riley actually stumbled for a step before he caught his footing again.

"I needed your rank and serial number so I could trace your chain of command."

"And my blood? Why did you take a vial of blood from me?"

"Wait," Xander interrupted their little argument. "He took a vial? That's new and weirdly disturbing."

Angel didn't even slow down. "I needed to prove a point."

"Did you like the taste? At this point, if you're planning on draining me, I don't see the reason for the deception." Riley had that sort of stoic tone that Giles sometimes got when the group forced him to endure modern music. Resignation, Willow had called it.

"If I were going to drain you, I wouldn't bother deceiving you. I took the blood to give to your general." They were approaching the edge of the wooded area, and as near as Xander could tell, they were about to come out into the playground area of the old grade school. Up ahead, he could hear the sounds of quiet shuffling and metal clicking against metal ominously. "Xander, stay close," Angel whispered. Then he stopped.

"I've brought the captain and a friend who is also human. Open fire, and you will injure them and just piss me off," Angel said loudly.

A branch snapped to their right, and suddenly Xander had the feeling that this was an incredibly horrible idea for him to come along. Angel was supposed to stop him from doing anything this stupid, only not so much with the stopping this time around. Riley shifted, and Angel must have tightened his hold because the man hissed in pain.

"Angel?" a voice asked. A broad man with a middle just starting to go soft and very little hair stepped out from behind a tree.

"General?" Riley asked. Then he hissed in pain again.

"Captain, stand down," the general ordered. "I wasn't sure you would bring him."

"I said I would," Angel said with the sort of false calm Xander recognized from battle. His hand inched toward his cinquedea. "Xander, stop," Angel said softly.

"I hadn't expected you to bring anyone." The general stepped back, his hand gesturing toward the grade school. Normally Xander would have said that it was stupid to go anywhere that the enemy wanted you to go, but from the sounds of rustling in the woods, they were already surrounded. "Is this your consort whose blood allows you to walk in the sun?"

"Hey, someone's been reading stupid Watcher propaganda," Xander blurted out before he could rein in his tongue. "And please feel free to ignore me."

Angel was already looking back at him with obvious regret at having brought him, and Xander bit his tongue and silently vowed to say nothing else, not even when his brain was about to explode at the sudden realization that the general had claimed Angel could walk in the sun and Angel had not been with the mocking and denying.

"That was a spell, an expensive spell. I knew something was going on, and I needed to find out what," Angel said as he escorted Riley into the clearing. There weren't obvious signs of solders, but the slide and kiddie fort had grown a few new bumps that looked suspiciously like helmets. "Did you find what I said you'd find in the blood?"

"Yes," the general said slowly. He gestured, and a man in green camouflage came out from behind the play fort. "Some suspect that it could have been added to the sample, so we would like a fresh vial collected by my personnel."

Angel nodded. It was Riley who protested that. "A fresh vial to test for what, sir?" he asked as the camouflage guy pulled out a needle.

"You may have been compromised, Captain. Angel here has a file going back to the last world war, so when he brought certain accusations to the joint chiefs, they were a little more willing to listen to him than I expected."

"Joint chiefs?" Xander breathed. They were guys you read about in government class. No one ever talked to people you read about in government class. People like the joint chiefs and the president were like unicorns... people talked about them but no one actually talked to them.

"Captain, if you would give me your arm," the guy with the needle said as he pushed up Riley's sleeve on his right arm, not even asking Angel to let go of Riley's left.

"You'll find I didn't change the sample," Angel said calmly.

The general stood staring up at the sky for a second before nodding. "Your willingness to allow the test does suggest that. So Dr. Walsh really has gone rogue."

"Sir, Dr. Walsh's work has allowed us to capture six different hostiles and conduct testing on..." Riley stopped when the general held up his hand.

Xander couldn't help giving a snort of derision, and the general's eyes focused on him. For half a second, Xander tired to stick with his not talking plan, but he was just not very good with the not talking. "Six demons is like one night's work. I can take out six demons in a night, and I'm not much with the demon-fighting talent."

"Xander," Angel hissed.

"Six minions anyway. I mean, if you thrown a hellhound in there, I’m not going to be good for more than one in a night, and I'm so not even giving myself odds against a moira, but six vampires I could take."

"Dr. Walsh's work will ensure that there won't be any demons left," Riley quickly retorted.

"Captain," the general said, and Riley fell silent, but his back was still stiff as the guy with the needle finished his work and pulled Riley's sleeve back down. "She may have compromised our men psychologically as well as physiologically," the general admitted, "but I still cannot condone allowing civilians to defend a potential battlefront."

"If you have a division of soldiers in here, you'll drive away the harmless and low-level demons that normally keep the hellmouth under control by draining off some of the energy and preventing lunatics from opening it."

"Let the foxes guard the henhouse." The general gave a small laugh. "Not an option the joint chiefs are willing to accept."

"You left me to recover that submarine you wanted so badly," Angel pointed out, and Xander had officially lost track of this conversation three exits back.

"You acted under duress according to the files."

"Only because your men broke into my room and threatened me with a stake before even explaining the mission."

"My men?" The general really laughed this time. "I was three years old at the time you recovered that Nazi submarine. And according to your own words, you aren't alone in guarding this hellmouth. Given your current companion, I have to wonder at the quality of the defensive lines here."

"Xander," Angel said, and it startled Xander so badly that he actually jumped. "Tell the general about what you've helped defeat on this hellmouth."

"Me? Hey, I’m just here for moral support," Xander offered weakly. Angel just stared at him with those cold eyes that made it clear he really wasn't joking. "But offhand, I can remember the Master and the crazy praying mantis lady and Moloch and Machida and Eyghon and the brotherhood of organ stealing demons and we had zombies lots of times and hellhounds and lots and lots of vampires and more vampires and weirdly entrepreneurial vampires and chaos mages. Did I miss anything?"

"Demonic possession by hyenas and reanimated mummies," Angel pointed out. Xander flinched.

"I'm trying to forget them."

Sometime during Xander's little speech, Riley had twisted around to stare at him, and even the general had a shocked expression. Mentally reviewing the list, Xander did have to admit that was a lot of demonic action for anyone.

"And your Dr. Walsh brags about six demons, three of which are harmless species. It's a cover for her work with the soldiers, and we're the ones doing the real work of defending the hellmouth," Angel said in a smug voice.

Riley was already shaking his head. "She wouldn't do that."

The general stepped forward, so close that Xander could see the deep wrinkles on either side of his mouth. "She has, soldier. You've been compromised, and the work we found in her lab during a surprise inspection was enough to justify a court martial even without confirmation that others have been affected." He turned toward Angel. "But we are not willing to allow the area to go undefended. Those in charge of the current direction the Initiative has taken will be disciplined, but the need for local control still exists."

"You can't control this," Angel said with some amusement. He let go of Riley's arm, and for a second, Riley just looked at him in shock before he quickly took his place at the general's side. Xander stepped up next to Angel and tried really hard to not look like a terrified high-school student. "You can be part of it."

"Under your command," the general guessed. It didn't take a mind reader to know how much Riley hated that idea.

"No," Angel said, already shaking his head, "I'm not the one destined to save the world from this hellmouth. I just try to back up the woman who has been keeping the darkness at bay since the Master escaped and loosed the door to hell."

"Someone else is in charge?" The general's back stiffened, and already Xander could tell that he was wondering why he was dealing with Angel. "Another vampire?"

Angel laughed. "No. A few vampires are willing to live and let live, but we carry all the faults of the human who lived in the body before us, only all those faults are amplified. It takes a remarkably good person to create a vampire who is only mildly evil. Most people aren't that good, and most vampires are vicious and ruthless killers. A few are masters of psychological terror and slaughter."

"As you were before you changed," the general said quietly, and Xander froze at the idea of the government having this much information on Angel. However, Angel didn't see that surprised.

"In life I was brutal and cold. My vampire learned to be even worse," Angel agreed mildly. "However, you know I have a soul now, and there are other vampires in town who, even without the soul, are unlikely to cause problems. You'll never find them hunting. You probably won't find them at all. However, the person who I try to support is actually a human. I'll tell her about you and any offer to help, but I won't speak for her. She might be more willing to discuss having a military team reporting to her if she knew you had something to bring to the table."

Angel reached over and rested his hand on Xander's shoulder as the night fell silent. The general frowned as he studied Angel. For long minutes, the silence continued as a jet crawled through the sky overhead, leaving behind a white trail that glowed in the moonlight.

"What sort of support is she looking for us to bring?" he finally asked.

Angel didn't answer immediately, and Xander firmly squashed his desire to fidget. "We have a major situation coming up with the mayor."

The general held up his hand to stop Angel. "We do not get involved in politics."

"He's a demon about to evolve into one of the old ones—demons of incredible power who were forced off the planet thousands of years ago. The last time someone ascended, it took a volcano exploding to stop them."

Xander noticed that both Riley and the general seemed to get a little paler... either that or the moon was casting light that was a little whiter. "We don't have a volcano handy," the general said.

"Explosives," Xander said as he realized where Angel was going. "If we had enough explosives, we could blast him the second he starts turning into the big, creepy, whatever he's going to turn into. We know he's going to be at the school for our graduation, so we could rig something. Oh... wait... the school uses gas for all the chemistry labs. We could turn the gas on and then rig the building with explosives. We'd just need to get the major to run into the school and kaboom, no more mayor."

The general looked at him like he was the one turning into a demon. "You want us to blow up your school? And did you just say that you still attend school?"

"I just lost cool points, didn't I?" Xander asked. Yeah, the general was probably not going to take a high-school kid seriously.

Angel patted him on the back. "General, high school students have been defending against demons that you soldiers couldn't touch. Perhaps I could offer you a small demonstration that these young people have earned the right to command."

"I would like to see any demonstration that could convince me of that," he agreed.

Angel tightened his hand briefly on Xander's shoulders. "Of the eight or nine of us who work together, where would you rank yourself?"

"Like fighting wise?" Xander asked.

"Like fighting wise," Angel agreed.

Xander considered that for a second. Okay, Oz and Willow, Ms. Calendar and Giles, Buffy, Faith, Spike and Angel. Really he knew way too many terrifyingly terrifying people. "Um, if you stripped magic away, I might be able to take two of the group, but the rest of you would kick my ass with one leg tied behind your back. And the two I might beat in a magicless fight... they would both turn me into a grease spot way before I could even draw my blade if they had magic. So, don't give me any lectures about self-esteem here, but I have to say that realistically I'm on the very bottom. I'm way more the ass kickee than the ass kicker, which is okay because I have a sharp tongue and I know how to use it. There is definitely more than one way to skin the person who isn't giving you what you want."

"You could beat Wesley," Angel offered softly as he pulled a stake out of his waistband and offered it to him.

"That is not with the making me feel better. My dead grandmother could beat Wesley, and she's not even the up and kicking kind of dead."

"Do you have a point with this?" the general demanded.

"Your soldiers have been here for almost a year and they have captured six demons, three of which are harmless. Xander is... Xander is more important that you could ever understand, but he's not a front line fighter. I'm still willing to bet that he can do better in one night than your entire secret base full of soldiers did in a year. If he can kill or capture six demons tonight, you take back a recommendation that a small unit be left here under the express orders to follow our leader as though she were their commanding officer."

"That's asking a lot."

"It's just a recommendation."

"And I'm supposed to believe that you're putting up your least competent fighter."

"Oh, he is," Xander snorted. "I can hold my own, mostly because I train with vampires, but I'm second or third or possibly fourth string around here. I'm the guy who carries the water bottle, but then without me, none of them could get a stopped up toilet running again, and toilet fixing is an important skill if you want happy fighters."

Riley found his voice. "Sir, Angel did not want to bring the civilian. The civilian threatened him with unnamed retaliation if he did not."

"The human threatened the vampire?" The general looked at Xander again.

"Hey, last time he annoyed me, I played Mario brothers until he was hearing the beeping and the music in his sleep. I may not be a fighter, but I have powers," Xander pointed out.

The general looked around for as second before he gestured with his arm up in the air. "Units stand down, we're going to have a little hunt here, and Xander will be taking lead."

"If I can't kill six vampires, I’m going to be having guilt for the rest of my life." Xander whispered his complaint to Angel.

"You're the one who invited yourself along, so don't fail," Angel answered without much mercy. "You can do this. I've seen you stake seven or eight in a night."

"Yeah, but only..." Xander stopped and looked at Angel. But only when Spike had been trying to cheer him up. Spike's version of cheeriness had been to flush out a dozen demons and point them at Xander so that he could play. After one of the most tiring and stressful nights of his life, he and Angel had found out exactly how Spike was 'helping' to cheer Xander up. They'd all sat down and had a very long talk with Spike about how mayhem and potential death was not actually good for curing human depression. Oh yeah, vampires cheated. It was just a rule.

"So, let's go kill some demons and hope they don't kill me first," Xander said as he held up his stake.

"I won't let them kill you," Angel said, walking behind as Xander headed for the closest cemetery. The general and Riley and three or four soldiers trailed behind them at quite a distance.

"Next time I try to stick my nose in where you think it doesn't go, feel free to kick me to the curb before I get myself in this deep."

"I tried that."

"Try harder."

"If I'd tried harder, I would have broken your fingers." Angel's hand found its place on Xander's back.

"You should considered bribery. I would have given up for a Nintendo 64DD."

"Double D? Like Faith's undergarments?"

"Okay, I do not even want to know how you know that," Xander complained. "I was talking about new and better Mario Brother's games."

"I would rather break your fingers. The noises that come from those games are torturous."

"Complain, complain," Xander sighed dramatically.

"You two will frighten away the vampires," Riley offered in a stage whisper from the rear.

Xander glanced over his shoulder. "Bub, if you think vampires are frightened off by geek talk or humans, you are so not even in the ballpark. No wonder you can't find your ass with both hands and a map. Six vampires in a year—color me unimpressed."

Xander might have had more to say about the soldiers and their track record, only the first vampire appeared around the corner of the cemetery. From the way the fledge was looking over his shoulder with undisguised fear, Spike hadn't even bothered to wait until they all got in the cemetery before flushing the prey.

"Have fun," Angel offered with one last pat on the back.

"Asshole," Xander offered, and then he went darting forward, his stake held down by his leg. "Hey, I got turned around somewhere. Do you know where the Sunnydale Inn is?" he asked cheerfully. God bless vampires and short memories because the fledge forgot all about Spike and focused all his attention on Xander.

"The Inn?" he asked, his forehead bubbling a bit as he struggled to keep his gameface hidden. "Yeah, you have to go down this street here to where you see that streetlight that's a bit more orange." He pointed back north, and Xander had to give the fledge creativity points for trying to get the prey to turn its back. Xander half turned as though he was about to look.

"Yeah, where?"

The vampire didn't answer as he lunged forward with a growl. Xander didn't even try to duck; he just aimed his stake and turned his head as his attacker turned into a cloud of dust that threatened to choke him to death. One down, five more to go, and Xander seriously hoped that Angel knew what he was doing because this was the craziest plan yet.

Powerful Beyond Measure

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. --Nelson Mandela

Xander stopped outside the school and chewed his lip. He felt like he was bringing a date home to meet the parents, not that he took people home to meet the parentals or that his dad had a home other than the street corner and a bottle of gin. But Angel had set this little meet up, and it was like if Riley fucked this up, Angel was going to look bad, and Xander wanted no part of making Angel look bad.

He had this dreamworld where both halves of his life got along—the half with Buffy and Willow that was quickly looking like his past *and* the half with Angel and Spike that was looking like his future. It was a wild and implausible dream, but he had a right to hope. And if this blew up in their faces, Giles and Buffy were so blaming Angel for going and doing the big government thing without even discussing it. Xander was the first to admit that sometimes Angel needed a swift kick in the ass for going off on his own, but sometimes Angel's crazy plans worked. He just really didn't want this to be one of Angel's spectacular failures because pulling the government in was more than a little crazy.

Xander turned to the soldier standing next to him. "When you meet Buffy, just do not go saying anything that might imply that she's short... or little in any way. And you might avoid words like girly. There's something really wrong about a big bad demon hunter looking like a blonde ditz, but if the words blonde or ditz cross your lips, you will be trying to find your body parts," Xander warned Riley. But then Riley looked a little too worried. "And I meant that totally metaphorically. She isn't into breaking people... much. There was this guy, but he was saying stuff... and I think I'm just stopping now. I'm stopping right after I point out that Percy West is whole and unbroken and only forever humiliated by a public slapdown where a girl shoved him in a toilet, and he deserved everything he got."

"A toilet?" Riley was looking even more with the worried. The fact was that Riley made him nervous, and nervous him babbled. Riley was representing the whole federal government here. The general was all onboard with the Buffy-plan, but if Buffy wasn't on board with the Buffy-plan, there would definitely be less plan-iness and more weirdness.

Xander stopped on the steps of the school and wondered again exactly how he had ended up volunteering to make the introductions. Actually, he was pretty sure he hadn't volunteered, but somehow he'd ended up looking all volunteery. But now Riley was looking all worried, which was not exactly going to make a good impression, and Giles was pretty much already unimpressed. Any more unimpressing and he was so going to veto this whole idea. Xander sighed and sent up a silent prayer that he wouldn't screw this all up because without the Council, Buffy needed backup. Actually, she probably needed it even with the Council because those guys were about as useful as a parent on prom night.

"Look, Percy did the whole more-than-just-kiss and tell on Buffy, and he was her first, and badness followed, and I so should not have told you that story, so just forget it. The point I was trying to make was that Buffy doesn't need someone looking at her and doing the judging thing. I know you were weirdly impressed with the seven vamps the other night..."

"Because it was impressive. When the trio attacked, I really thought you were going to get hurt," Riley hurried to assure him.

"And I would have. There was hurting on the horizon, which is why Angel had to go sailing in and take one of them out," Xander pointed out. "Although really he should get credit for two because he was holding that one when I staked him." Xander had gotten five vamps without too much trouble, even though it'd taken him three stabs before he hit the heart on number four, but the last one of the night, which had turned out to be the last three, had just been too much.

"Anyone would have needed backup. But you fought well," Riley disagreed.

"You know, my self-image is centered on being comic relief and moral center and backup guy, and you're screwing with my head with the whole calling me a fighter thing. Keep it up and I'm siccing my therapist on you for giving me identity issues," Xander complained as he pushed open the double doors into the main hall. You'd think someone would lock the school after hours, but maybe they'd just gotten tired of replacing locks and had just given up.

"You go to therapy?" Riley looked at him strangely.

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with therapy, Bub!" Xander insisted as he poked a finger in Riley's direction. He'd forgotten that most people didn't see therapy as big with the healthy. Wesley had looked at him with pity and anxiety the first time one of the girls said something.

"Of course not," Riley quickly agreed. "I have a degree in psychology and I'm working on my masters, and therapy is required for the unit. A human being can't fight demons straight out of nightmares without dealing with the psychological impact. I'm just surprised. Most people avoid therapy."

"Oh, I totally would have avoided if I could. I would have been avoidy until my dying day, only Angel grabbed me by the back of the neck and dragged me into the office. And then my first therapist moved, and I was all for quitting, but Angel made me go to the new therapist. Angel’s just a giant mother hen with poofy hair. Oh, and my therapist turns blue when you tell her things that make her all shocky, by the way."

Riley got another of those weird faces, like he couldn't quite decide how he was supposed to react to that, but then they had kinda rearranged Riley's world lately. Xander remembered how that felt. "You know. Angel's not the only non-vampy vamp. I mean, there are suckhouse vamps, and they're more about just staying out of the way and then there are the minions that are rising around here, and they're all stupid and grrrrr and running straight at your stake like one of those stupid movie-mummies from the fifties and then there are master vampires who are all strategy and doom and destruction. We even had a vamp who kept trying to raise money. He set up a Slayerfest that sold tickets for bounty hunters who wanted intel on the slayers so they could hunt them. Vamps come in all sorts of flavors. One even helped us close the hellmouth, no soul attached, because he likes the world the way it is. So, stereotyping vamps is not really with the open-mindedness."

Riley still didn't look convinced, but Xander figured he'd give the guy time to adjust. Besides, Riley was about to meet the slayer gang, and that was going to redefine a whole bunch more of those rules in his head.

"If I don't have a chance to see your vampire again, thank him for requesting me for this post," Riley said stiffly as they turned the corner and the library door came into sight. Riley got all weirdly stiff when people started talking about goodish demons, but hopefully he'd get over it. If not, Xander could always invite him for an LA trip to meet the blue therapist and spiny secretary and green lounge singer. That would shake his world up good.

"No thanks needed," Xander shrugged. "If Angel says you're all cool-under-fire guy and the right one to backup Buffy, he meant it. He isn't big for saying things he doesn't mean. And when he does lie, he gets this scrunchy look like his whole face is trying to move into the middle all at once. It's not pretty," Xander said with a shudder. "So, are you ready to meet the gang?"

Xander pushed the doors to the library open and started to greet everyone with his usual flair. The words caught in his throat at the chaos he found inside.

"Listen, there's a killer in the cafeteria," Buffy was saying as she sat on the edge of the table and everyone sort of gathered around her.

"Okay, this is different," Xander said as he edged into the room. Riley stepped up to his side and considered the gathered group. Willow looked downright panicked, and even Oz looked like he was working on a facial expression. Wesley was clutching a book and Ms. Calendar and Giles were presenting that united front of calmness they did when things got really bad.

"Someone was thinking about it!" Buffy insisted when no one answered her. They were all too busy trading concerned looks with each other. "They thought, 'This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all.' They were right in the cafeteria. We have to find them." She started getting off the table and Giles caught her arm to keep her from falling down.

"Did you, uh, recognize a voice?" Giles asked.

"No."

"Boy or girl?" Willow was going right into research mode, Xander knew that face. Okay, so something big had been with the happening.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Xander asked the crowd. He stepped in and Riley walked silently at his side. This was actually kinda weird because Xander was supposed to be providing the introductions, but he was definitely feeling like an outsider.

"Buffy can read minds," Willow answered.

"And it's not as much fun as it sounds," Buffy agreed. "There's someone in the cafeteria thinking about how everyone is going to be dead tomorrow."

"See, I've been saying for years that the lunch lady's gonna do us all in with that Mulligan Stew," Xander tried joking. He got a few glares. "And that was probably inappropriate humor given the circumstances," he quickly added. "Buff, are you sure that the person with the homicidal thoughts meant it? I mean, who hasn't had a thought or two that strayed to the land of inappropriate violence? Back before he came out of the closet, Larry inspired me to have all sorts of fantasies about murdering the football team, although now I'm old enough to admit that my anger may have been fueled by a self-esteem in total freefall."

"I know the difference. He... she... whoever, they meant it. They're gonna do it." Buffy crossed her arms in a move that just dared Xander to disagree with her, and he was not idiot enough to go there. "And I am not daring you to do anything," Buffy insisted crossly.

"Okay, that's just slightly freaky," Xander said with a frown. How was he supposed to keep from thinking things? And oh shit, he'd told Riley about Percy and that was so not a smart thing for him—

"You what!?" Buffy yelped.

"What? What?" Willow asked as she looked around wildly.

"He told new guy about West." Buffy pointed an angry finger at Riley, and Riley looked ready to run for the hills. That might actually be a smart thing to do.

"I didn't mean to. I just babbled," Xander defended himself.

"As interesting as this is, we do have a problem to focus on. Buffy, perhaps you should go home? I can take you," Giles offered.

Ms. Calendar nodded in agreement, which was weird because they were usually much more for disagreeing and then getting that funny look that meant they were having sex after disagreeing.

"Ick!" Buffy complained. "There will be no thoughts of Giles sex!"

Giles gave Ms. Calendar a withering glare. "I'm not!" she argued, her hands held up. "I was thinking about doing a shielding spell to try and block some of the thoughts invading Buffy."

"Thanks for the support there, Giles. I appreciate knowing that I might go crazy if you don't." Buffy crossed her arms and glared at Giles.

"Is anyone still kinda creeped out by how she answers people who haven't talked?" Willow asked quietly.

"Me," Oz answered with a thoughtful nod.

"Actually, I was going to suggest that a better use of your magics might include tracking the second demon so we could retrieve the heart for Buffy to consume." Giles looked over at Xander and Riley... finally. "I'm afraid that this is a particularly bad time. Buffy has been infected by a demonic power, and we need to focus on this. Jenny, if you would track the demon, perhaps Wesley and I can try and track it to its lair."

"I could come. I have the fire spell down," Willow offered.

"Yes, I appreciate the offer, but we need to retrieve the heart, not incinerate it. Perhaps next time?" Giles suggested. Xander watched as Willow shrank back just a little bit. Geez, was she so insecure that she needed to be in on every mission? Xander wondered why he hadn't ever noticed that before, but ever since the whole dirty dancing incident at homecoming, he'd tried to avoid Willow. Between her stammering and Oz's growling, it wasn't really all that comfortable. In fact, in the last five months, he could count on one hand the number of times he'd been in a room with Willow. Buffy looked over at him strangely.

"Willow," she said, "we have until lunch tomorrow to figure out who the killer is, and I just can't be around people. I mean, I love you guys, but you're giving me a headache just being near. Could you track down any suspects? And yeah, I know old optimist over there thinks that everyone wants to blow up his school, but seriously, maybe we could narrow that down to a list of people I could actually investigate?"

"I can do that. I could check the FBI for mass-murderer profiles. See if maybe we can rule some people out. I'll get on that."

"Someone is going to commit mass murder?" Riley asked, speaking for the first time. He might not be Oz level of laconic, but he wasn't exactly a chatty Kathy, either.

"Right now, I am rather more concerned about the second demon and stopping this power before Buffy falls into a coma. Jenny, could you please track that second demon while I take Buffy home? Wesley, you're in charge of weapons."

"Angel could do it if you could wait until after nightfall, not to suggest that you and Wesley can't handle one little demon," Xander quickly added. He glanced over at Wesley again. "But Angel would be more than happy to do it after dark. Just give him the name of the demon and the body part you'd like ripped out."

Giles looked over at Wesley, and that was not a complimentary expression. Buffy actually flinched and looked a little pale as she grabbed for the edge of the table. "As much as I would love to leave this for Angel, I don't think we can wait. Wesley and I will simply have to handle it," Giles said harshly. Wesley didn't even answer, but his back was stiff and Xander could almost feel the misery leaking out of him, which might explain the pained expression on Buffy's face.

"Perhaps Xander should..." Riley started saying. Buffy looked at him in shock, but then, who knew what kind of weird military stuff she was getting from him.

"I hardly think Xander needs to be in the middle of this," Giles quickly cut him off. Then Giles looked at Wesley again. "Then again, perhaps Xander might come along as backup."

"I was going to suggest that Xander and I could hunt this demon. I have two men I utterly trust still in town who could back us up. If this is a demon you feel confident taking on with..." Riley glanced over at Wesley... "minimal backup, then four of us should be able to handle it."

Xander almost felt bad for Wesley. Yep, he was a schmuck and an idiot, but the new guy who'd been here for all of five minutes had already sized him up and relegated him to minimal-land. As a long time resident and only recent emigrant from the land of being minimal, Xander had to feel a little Wesley-sympathy. God he was sick in the head because he used to be way better at holding a grudge. His grudge reflex was way way rusty these days. Too much therapy.

"While I appreciate the offer—" Giles started.

"Let him," Buffy interrupted. Giles looked over at her in surprise.

Buffy looked about ready to cry with pain, but she looked firm at the same time, and Xander couldn't quite figure out how she managed that set of facial expressions. "I can't shut it out Giles. It's like this invasion of my head. It's like there're these strangers walking around in there. It's just a... Look at this, I can't even be around people anymore. Not that they're really clamoring to be near me anyway. Even you. I really need to go home."

"I'll take you," Giles immediately offered as he stepped to her side. "I'll be back as soon as I can," Giles told the rest of them as he slipped an arm around Buffy's waist.

"Xander and Riley will handle the demon hunt, okay?" Buffy asked. Giles didn't answer, but Buffy nodded as if he had. Xander and Riley stepped aside to let them pass when Buffy stopped and looked right at the soldier. "Riley, I'm Buffy, and I'm really sorry that we're getting to a really weird start here, but that's the Hellmouth for you. Before you start assuming that we're as disorganized as..." she stopped and looked around the room. "Okay, with the exception of Willow, we really are as disorganized as we look, but it works, and we always get the job done. Three years, apocalypse-free and counting. And just as soon as I can block out the military code of conduct from running through my head like a freight train because someone is worried about letting slip secret details which are still slipping, by the way, we might be able to work something out."

Buffy smiled at him, but Riley just looked shocked.

"Thank you," Buffy said with a smile at him before she headed for the door. Riley watched her leave, leaning heavily on Giles as she walked.

"That wasn't what I was expecting," he offered softly.

"Nope, the Buffster is... she's just the Buffster." Xander shrugged as he considered the impossibility of describing Buffy. "So, Ms. Calendar, it looks like Riley and I are on demon hunting duty. Just tell us where, and as soon as I call my overprotective roommate, we can go kick demon ass." Xander pulled out his cell phone and started dialing Angel's apartment.

"I'll call my team," Riley said as he pulled out his own cell phone.

"I guess we have a new member," Oz commented. Xander smiled at that. With things getting more and more awkward between him and his girls... and the Council and his girls... and pretty much the world and his girls, he wanted to think they had some good backup on their side, and Angel seemed to think that Riley wasn't bad for a human.

By the time Ms. Calendar had a location on the demon, Xander had hung up on Angel rather than listen to a parent-type lecture and two more soldiers had shown up. Graham Miller was quiet and kept to himself, nodding at the introductions. Forrest Gates was a little more interested in watching the group as though he was expecting someone to spontaneously grow fangs and spring at him. Although, that might just be possible with Oz who wasn't looking all that friendly.

"I have it. It's near Kingman's Bluff."

"There are caves out there," Willow said as she looked up from her computer where she was compiling a list of potential serial killers, and the list was turning out disturbingly long. "I bet it's in one of those deep caves."

"Shit," Gates said softly. Riley spared him a dirty look before going all military efficient.

"We'll stop by the house and pick up spelunking equipment. We'll need a fourth, unless you have experience with rappelling?" Riley asked as he looked at Xander hopefully.

"Hey, I was planning on going out there and just poking my head in caves until something tries to snap it off. Buffy's sick. We don't have time for fancy military stuff," Xander said.

"We need—"

"I'm going to Kingman's Bluff," Xander said firmly. "You can come or you can go play with your military toys. Ms. Calendar, may I borrow your car?"

She looked from Xander to the military trio and back again.

"Xander," Willow said softly in that worried voice that reminded him how often other people did worry about him because he did stuff to warrant worrying. She definitely did not want him going.

"Good luck," Oz said firmly.

Xander smiled at the other boy. "I'm all about the luck."

"Just don't wreck it. I've wrecked enough of my own cars, I don't need your help to wreck my insurance score," Ms. Calendar sighed as she tossed him the keys to her car.

"No wrecking, no getting killed and lots of luck. Got it," Xander said as he headed for the door. For one second, he thought he really was going to go it alone, and then footsteps came after him as the three soldiers followed.

"Any advice?" Riley asked as they stepped out into the afternoon sun.

"Don't get killed is a good one," Xander said as they headed for the faculty parking lot.

"This is fucking insane. Riley, we should get some backup," Gates insisted. Yep, Xander liked Riley, and he could even imagine calling the quiet guy, Graham Miller, by his first name and having a beer, but Forrest Gates seemed like a last name kinda guy to Xander.

"Funny, I thought you were the backup," Xander pointed out as he reached the car and unlocked it.

"And I thought you were a civilian kid," Gates snapped before he turned to Riley. "This is stupid. We're going into a situation with almost no intel and fucking swords?" Gates gestured toward his jacket where he had one of Giles' good swords tucked away.

"We're following local guides and local intel. Follow orders, soldier," Riley said, and that was not a friendly tone of voice. For a second the two soldiers stared each other down, but then Gates looked away with disgust. The funny thing was that Graham didn't even react. It was like he was used to these two. Xander just knew he'd be sucking Tums down like candy if he had to be around this much bitching all the time.

"Xander, I am worried about the swords. We're trained for knife fights, but not swords," Riley said as he claimed shotgun in Ms. Calendar's Honda. Xander slipped in behind the wheel and adjusted the seat as far back as he could while still reaching the pedals. Yep, it was petty, but Gates was right behind him, and Xander was not liking him at all.

"You'd better start training," Xander offered without much sympathy. "Bullets just piss most demons off. They bounce off a few demons, and bouncing bullets are kinda dangerous."

"Ricocheting," Gates muttered almost silently.

Graham finally spoke up. "What about our taser weapons? We can load the charge to run dangerously high."

"Yes, but then electricity is power." Xander started the car and headed for the highway. He was going to have to call Angel before he went into the fight, but he figured he'd hold off as long as he could so that the vamp didn't have quite as long to worry. It was a good twenty minutes out to Kingman's Bluff, and that was twenty minutes where Angel would be happier believing Xander was still at the library.

"So, don't the tasers work?" Graham asked.

"On some stuff, probably," Xander admitted. "They're probably going to work on more stuff than the guns with bullets, but some demons are really good at converting energy. So, some of those demons are going to suck up the taser's charge and get even stronger. Most things die when you cut their heads off, though. Not all, but most."

"And how do we know which demons can't be killed by decapitation?" Riley asked. It was kinda weird, them treating him like the demon expert when usually that was Giles.

"Hopefully you'll recognize the type of demon. Vampires, borg'dar, senih'D, lei-ach... they all go down for a good beheading. Things with brains are just a little easier to kill. The hard demons are the ones that are all ghostly or squishy or blobby. If the beheading doesn't work, you need to tell Giles or Willow or Ms. Calendar so they can look it up and tell you whether you need to cut the heart out or stab it in the eyes or something. Actually," Xander said after a second, "if beheading doesn't work right away, stabbing in the eyes is a close second and setting it on fire comes in third. I would say that setting a demon on fire was actually number one on the list, but then you have potential for accidentally burning the whole town down, which would be bad. I mean, Buffy burned down one little school gym trying to deal with a whole nest of vampires, like forty or fifty, and they still hold that against her.

"She took on fifty vampires? And lived?" Gates sounded like a doubting-Thomas.

"That would be why she burned down the gym. I don't think she could actually stake fifty of them without her arm falling off or something, but Buffy's big with the scary. She can do things that make you wonder if you shouldn't take up yoga, too. Well, until you try yoga. Then your back hurts for a week and you find you’ve sprained your wrist," Xander admitted.

"Captain," Gates said in that voice that made it so very clear that he was not happy.

"Stand down, soldier," Riley said just as unhappily. "Xander, what can you tell us about the group?"

The car jerked toward the curb as he looked over at Riley in surprise. Okay, he so did not want to be the one telling tales on the others.

"Xander, I understand that you have all been doing a difficult job. I am simply trying to assess the strengths and weaknesses and determine what personnel I need here. I'm not asking for anyone's secrets," Riley said quietly. Wow, maybe Buffy's mind reading had rubbed off on him. Then again, Xander's therapist had a bad habit of doing that same thing—of guessing exactly what Xander had in his head. And Riley was a psych major, so maybe he came by the creepy mind reading thing the old fashioned way.

He shrugged as he considered his answer for a minute. "Willow is the apprentice magic user under Ms. Calendar and total tech girl. You give her a computer and she can figure out more than you might expect. She's the one who does the nightly patrol schedule based off this program she wrote to identify who's most likely to rise as a vampire."

"You know where they're going to rise?" Graham asked, and he was sounding shocked, but not disbelieving.

Xander nodded. "Willow is genius-level smart."

"We have more than a few geniuses, and they never seemed to get shit done," Graham said with disgust.

"They had bad intel. That's why we're going local," Riley pointed out, and some of the tension in his body eased. Xander realized that the captain was worried about whether his men would follow him. Well, if that's what Riley wanted to know, Xander could throw the big wild card out right away.

"Oz is the tracker in the group since he's a werewolf."

"A werewolf?" Riley asked loudly at the same time Gates offered a "Fuck, no way."

"Hey, werewolf are human, too," Xander pointed out as he mentally wondered whether that had been totally and completely stupid. Yeah, Angel said that Riley would be good backup, but he didn't say Riley was smart or open-minded about people who were a little humanity-impaired. "He's not the only not-quite totally human on our side, either. Well, actually Clem is totally not human, but he's great for knowing who's moving where and who's looking to grab a little power. And a couple of the suckhouse vamps keep track of the local community. Master vampires looking to make a name usually cruise a few suckhouses and kill a few older vamps to make a name for themselves."

"Suckhouse vamps?" Graham asked when the car went deathly silent.

Xander hadn't ever stopped to consider how strange his life would look from the outside. It was just his life. He lived with demons and vampires and slayers and world-ending and werewolves and things that went bump in the night. But trying to explain these things… he realized he was sounding either insane or... nope, just insane.

"Xander, what's a suckhouse?" Riley asked in that calm tone of voice that Xander's therapist used.

Xander glared at the guy just to let him know that he was not falling for it. He was telling them because he wanted to, not because Riley had used his psychy powers. "Vampires have whatever flaws the humans had before leaving the body. So, if someone was a couch potato before dying, their vampire self isn't going to be out there running vampire marathons... not that there are... nevermind. The point is that some vampires just aren't into hunting. They live in these whorehouses and humans go there and pay to get bitten."

"Why?" Graham asked.

"Because they're freaks," was Gates' announcement. Xander tried really hard to not like people without reason, but he didn't like Gates and the guy just kept providing more and more reasons for the not liking.

"Because the bite is addictive," Xander said as he bit his tongue to keep from going into more detail than he should. He'd tried forgetting what he'd seen on that night with Angelus, but sometimes he couldn't forget the look on the humans' faces. When Angelus' fangs had gone in, they'd stiffened in orgasm and cried out. They'd thrashed and moaned and clutched at the monster that was taking their blood. Even the woman who'd died had gone with a smile.

"We didn't know that," Riley said softly.

"Well, usually the vamps just try to get as much blood as they can as fast as they can, so the bite is more about ripping through flesh, which is not really big with the pleasure, but when the vamps go slow... it's just... different."

"Is that why you're living with a vampire?" Gates asked.

"Gates, you are one second from going on report," Riley snapped. "When we get back, you will look up the nearest base with a cultural competence course."

"Yes, sir," Gates said formally.

No way was Xander letting that one slide, though. "Hey, I am a biting virgin here. My blood is for me and no one but me... well, except for when the hospital has a blood drive, but I do not let vampires bite me."

After seeing what biting led to, Xander really wasn't going to let vampires bite him. Sometimes during his intimate time with his hand, he thought about what it would have been like if one of his vamps had pushed him down on that hill instead of Faith. He remembered the look of absolute bliss on the faces of those humans in the suckhouse. He remembered when they woke up... how they still looked at Angel with this hunger like they wanted more. It was like watching a really cool kid smoke cigarettes and wondering whether he'd look that cool… if he'd like it. And having that image in his head, sometimes his imagination turned Faith's hands on him into Spike's hands or Angel's hands. He'd imagine them slipping fangs into him, and that was the very best reason why it was not going to happen. Nope, an addiction to chocolate was as adventurous as Xander was feeling.

"So, are you having sex with him?" Graham asked.

"Miller!" Riley snapped. He was actually way snappier than Xander had expected, especially since Graham didn't sound pissy about the question.

"Nope," Xander answered. "I was dating a cheerleader, but then one bad thing led to another and she decided that I was too young for her even though I’m six months older than she is, so I have been benched for the foreseeable future. And that probably won't change until I leave high school and meet people who don't think I'm the big goober who hangs on the edges of all the cool groups."

"A goober?" Riley nearly choked.

"Yep. The general consensus at school is that I am cool-adjacent without ever being cool, but then when girls emasculate you on a regular basis, you just get used to that rep." Xander knew that others saw him as the sidekick, and at one point that had really bugged him. Now, it just didn't seem like such a big deal. Being the sidekick meant that you were helping people do the right thing, and he knew that he made a difference, even if his power was more about dragging Angel into a church or keeping Spike from eating Riley. Those were important differences. Riley was probably being so nice to him because he'd kept Spike from eating the 'boxed lunch' in the cage.

But people at school didn't see the important stuff he did. Mostly they saw him trip or get saved by Buffy or emasculated by Cordelia.

"I mean, I'm not exactly good with the fighting, not when compared to the others, and I really suck at the schoolwork. At least, I usually do. When I get really stuck, this guy I know is good at getting me to understand pretty much anything, even over the phone. But that's because he explains it in terms of demons and demon fighting and all that. He actually taught me solubility by having me try to get different kinds of demon snot out of my clothes. So, I'm teachable, but not smart and decent in a fight, but not good, and in high school, that kind of averageness is not high on the social scale."

"You're an average fighter?" Graham asked with something that sounded like disbelief in his voice. "Man, I think my ego just took a serious hit."

Riley smiled. "You and me both. If we're going to work out of Sunnydale, we're going to have to train a little harder if we don't want to end up being average."

"We're going to have to train *a lot* harder," Graham said. "If I'd had three vamps target me, my first, second and third plans would have included retreat."

"Oh shit," Xander cursed. "I need to call Angel. He has this rule about me not fighting demons without telling him where I'm going. He's a mother hen. I sometimes think he clucks in his sleep," Xander said dramatically. Riley and Graham actually laughed. Xander checked in the mirror, and Gates still looked like he was hating every second of this, but hopefully he wouldn't be one of the people Riley kept around. He certainly didn't seem to be on Riley's good-list right now.

Xander fumbled at his phone and hit redial.

"Boyo, you had better tell me you're na at the cliffs yet," the voice on the other end answered before the first ring.

"Geez, lighten up. I'm on the highway. Um... sorta," Xander said as he pulled off at their exit. The caves were technically in Sunnydale, but so far from the town center that Buffy never actually patrolled here, so Xander wasn't exactly sure of the best place to start.

"Which exit?" Angel demanded.

"114," Xander said as he slowed the car around the curve.

"Pull off and wait for me."

"Um, newsflash, the sun won't be going down for another three or four hours, and we're on a clock here."

"Xander," Angel said slowly, "I will be there in less than five minutes, and you will wait for me, or I will give in to my almost overwhelming need to put you over my knee and spank you," Angel growled. Then the phone just went dead.

"Um," Xander cleared his throat, "I think we're going to just pull off here and wait for a minute." Riley looked at him funny, but no one commented as Xander pulled the car to the side and switched the engine off. Oh yeah, Angel was furious. The Irish accent usually came right before the beating of Spike, but this time, Xander was getting to deal with Angel all by himself. And if Angel had to buy another one of those expensive sun-proofing spells, his mood was so not going to be any good. Angel got cranky about Xander turning lights off and the cost of soda, so sun-proofing spells were definitely going to make him irritable.

It didn't take long at all before Angel's convertible was crunching over the gravel at the side of the road and parking behind Ms. Calendar's car. Xander got out, and met Angel who had on his stone-faced expressionless face, which pretty much meant that he was trying to not look furious.

"I was going to call you before going into the caves," Xander said before Angel had even closed the distance between them. Angel stopped a half step away from him, and Xander could see him clench his fists.

Riley had gotten out of his car and was watching Angel with a guarded expression. "Mr. Giles had planned to kill the demon himself, so I assume we can handle it."

"So, you take Xander into a situation where you're making assumptions?" Angel asked in a dangerously calm tone of voice. He reached out and caught Xander by the arm, holding on tight enough that Xander knew he was going to have bruises tomorrow.

Riley seemed to have figured out Angel's moods a lot faster than Xander had, though. For the longest time, Xander thought Angel didn't have emotions, but from the alarmed look on Riley's face, he knew Angel was furious with him.

"No, I planned to go back to the house, collect rock climbing equipment, additional weapons, supplies and personnel."

Angel raised his eyebrows.

"I changed my plans when Xander started leaving the library in order to come after the demon by himself."

Xander flinched and made a mental note to put hair remover in Riley's shampoo. He'd have to fight his way past Army guys and guards, but it'd be worth it. Reluctantly, Xander looked up, and Angel was staring down at him with yellow eyes. "Buffy really needs that heart," Xander defended himself. Angel closed his eyes, and Xander could almost see him mouth the words as he counted in some demon language in order to try and get his temper back under control. Slowly, Angel eased up his grip on Xander's arm and took several deep breaths.

"Finn," Angel said, his voice still dangerously quiet. "This is not a particularly dangerous demon, although you will no doubt have trouble since it will require a sword to kill it. But if you're going to backup Buffy, you need to adjust to the situation. Xander and I will accompany you, but we will only pull you out of the way if one of you is injured, and we will only kill the demon if you fail." Angel turned and started pulling Xander back toward his convertible so fast that Xander scrambled to keep his feet under him.

"Sir!" Riley called out. Angel stopped and looked back. "Xander still has the keys and I'm not sure where we're going."

For a second, Angel stared at the soldier, and if Buffy's life weren't in danger, Xander thought he would probably tell Riley to figure it out for himself. Instead, Angel held out his hand imperiously, and Xander quickly fished the keys out of his pocket and handed them over. Angel threw them at Riley. "Follow us," Angel said as he turned back toward the car.

Xander didn't argue, not even when Angel refused to let him go long enough to let him walk around to the passenger side. Instead, Angel opened the driver's door and sort of shoved Xander across the seat before he got in himself.

"I can't believe you would do this," Angel said angrily as he pulled away from the curb fast enough to send gravel flying behind him. Xander flinched at the sound of tinny little pings as the pebbles bounced off Ms. Calendar's car as they passed the soldiers. Riley was driving now with Graham up front.

"We hunt demons all the time," Xander tried pointing out very reasonably.

"With me, with Spike, with Faith or Buffy," Angel snapped.

"And now Riley is part of the merry band."

"No, he's not. He's trying to prove himself, but right now, he's just one more human who could end up getting eaten by something bigger than he is tomorrow. Do you have any idea how easily I captured him?" Angel demanded. He glanced over, and Xander saw the yellow of his eyes reflecting his anger.

"He wasn't expecting a vampire to be out during the day. It's a little surprising to me, too," Xander pointed out. Angel really did look different in the sun. His pale skin looked a little unhealthy, but he also looked larger, more intimidating, maybe because that was a seriously intimidating look on his face and there were no shadows to hide any corner of the unhappy. Nope, every unhappy wrinkle and twitch was clearly highlighted as the sun bathed him with light.

"A dozen different demons can disguise themselves as humans; a half-dozen can go out in the sun. And when all else fails, demons can just hire humans to do their work for them."

"If he's such a bad backup, why did you tell the general he'd be good backup for Buffy?" Xander demanded. If this guy was incompetent, Xander didn't want him near the girls. Riley and Wesley could go off and do the demon thing together if they both sucked.

Angel sighed. "It's not that he's that bad."

"That's not what you said two seconds ago."

"They'll learn. With Buffy and Giles to watch out for them, they'll adapt. They aren't ready to back you up in a fight."

"Because I'm not good enough to take care of myself," Xander finished for him. The words didn't even hurt anymore. Xander had long ago embraced that his powers lay in distraction and helping.

"Because you would have to take care of them. Xander, you're a better fighter than any of those three."

"Okay, the sun is obviously baking your brain," Xander laughed.

Angel sighed and reached over to rest a palm on Xander's leg. It felt oddly warm, as if Angel's skin carried the warmth of the sun in it.

"Xander, you are as good a fighter as any full human will ever learn to be. They aren't at your level, and if you fight with them, you're going to expect them to hit as hard as a vampire or slayer. You're going to see them go down, and then assume they'll be back up in time to cover you as you go in for an attack. Xander, every person you fight with has supernatural powers. You can't judge humans by that standard."

Xander stared at the road as he thought about that. Riley and Graham had joked, sure, but they couldn't be that bad, could they? Soldiers were fighters. Covert soldiers who got undercover missions were awesome soldiers. And officers who commanded covert soldiers on missions—officers like Riley—were scary great fighters. "I couldn't... I mean, they're all best of the best and be all you can be."

Angel sighed again, and his eyes finally faded to brown. "They are the best of humans. Xander, you compare yourself with demons and slayers. You're our weakest fighter only because your body can't physically do more than you've already pushed it to do. Once they start patrolling with Buffy and me, they'll have to learn to push themselves as hard as you do, but until then, you aren't to go out with them."

"Maybe..."

"No," Angel growled, the yellow back in his eyes. "Xander, you have to understand how dangerous this is."

"They're not going to get me killed."

"No, you're going to get them killed," Angel snapped. He held up his hand with that same ugly ring from the night when Xander had found Riley in the cage. "This is why I can walk in the sun. It's a ring that most of the demonic world thinks is a myth. When I got the call from Oz that you were heading out here, Spike and I fought over this ring. Most of the time, Spike isn't all that interested in winning—today he was, and in close quarters in that apartment, he nearly did. I can't use my extra weight and reach if I don't have room to maneuver."

"Shit," Xander breathed. He didn't even want to think what the apartment looked like.

"If Spike had won, those three would be dead right now," Angel said, and Xander felt cold rush through him.

"He wouldn't—"

"He would," Angel cut him off. "He wanted to kill Wesley, but he didn't because Faith took the dominant role in their relationship, so when she told him to back off, he did. Spike sees himself as dominant over you, which means he has rights and responsibilities. If I'm there, I can control his demon, but if he'd gotten this ring, he would have been out here killing those three for putting you in harm's way, and they wouldn't have had time to explain that you were the one putting yourself at risk."

"I didn't—" Xander just stopped. Today was supposed to be about Riley getting his world redefined. Maybe Buffy would get a little redefining because suddenly she wouldn't be alone anymore. She'd have support. Maybe she'd even have money to fix the radios or buy new swords because she was tough on the equipment. Xander had definitely not scheduled himself for any new insights and revelations. "I know he'd kill someone who threatened me, but he'd kill Riley?" Xander asked quietly.

"I'm hoping we get home before dark so I can talk to him and he can see you're safe before he can get out of the apartment building or he still may try," Angel said with a grimace. "Xander, years ago I spent a lot of time trying to break William because I hated that his need to love people survived in his demon. In some ways, I tortured him as badly as I ever tortured Dru, but he was stronger than she had been. He never changed; he just learned to hide it from me. And now, he loves you. In Spike's case, loving someone means obsessing over them, killing for them, changing for them. That's what he's doing for you... it's what he's doing for me. It's what he's always done. If he had understood Faith— if I had understood her well enough to explain it to him— he would have done anything to help her feel safe and wanted."

Angel pulled off the road and onto a dirt path that led to the top of the cliffs. "Xander, if you put yourself in danger, you'll put Spike in a position where he feels like he has to kill to protect you. You need to understand that. And you need to understand one other thing: if he had a choice between saving the two of us or saving the rest of the world, he would let the whole world burn to save us. He'd set fire to it himself if he needed to. William the poet felt love so deeply that William the vampire doesn't know how to survive without it." Angel stopped the car and looked over at Xander.

For a second, Xander didn't even breathe. It was like knowing you were sitting on a bomb and that if you did something stupid, the bomb was going to go off. Yeah, he'd known that Spike loved Angel, that wasn't exactly a secret, but Xander had always thought that Spike's feelings for him were filtered through Angel, like Xander was Angel's favorite toy or something.

"Just... be careful?" Angel asked. Xander nodded. "Okay, so let's go watch the soldiers get knocked around a little before we rescue them," he said wearily as he got out of the car. "You know, if Giles had just called me earlier, I could have taken care of this on my own with a lot less fuss."

Riley pulled up behind Angel, and the three soldiers got out of the car. Angel started walking toward the cliff, and Xander could see him sniff the air for a second. He turned to look over his shoulder. "Unless you are knocked out or start bleeding from an artery, you'd better be willing to pick yourself up and get back into the fight," Angel warned them as he pulled his sword. Xander pulled out his own cinquedea.

"We can handle ourselves," Riley said confidently. Xander wondered if he had sounded that confident when he'd gone into his first major battle with the forces of darkness. He doubted it. It was hard to think that everyone here thought he was a better fighter than these three.

"Just make sure you keep your fangs to yourself," Gates said darkly.

Angel flashed into gameface, and Gates clutched his sword tighter.

"You know," Xander said, remembering a lesson Spike had taught him long ago, "if you hold your sword too tight, you cut off circulation to your fingers and then you're pretty much a sitting target."

"Good to know. I'll pass that advice on to whichever soldiers get posted here," Riley sounded honestly grateful for the advice even as he gave Gates a cold look. Angel ignored them all as he started toward the cliff, a hand on Xander's back guiding him. All Xander could think was that it was funny the way life handed you brain-changing moments when you least expected it.

Keep Walking

"If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. For where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained. Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing." ~Saint Augustine

Angel watched as Xander went over the plans one more time, a giant map of graduation projected onto the wall. Riley and his five men were standing to the side. They'd argued vociferously against including the graduates, but Xander had vetoed them all by going straight to the seniors and just telling them about ascension. Riley might have convinced Xander and Buffy to put the safety of the students first, but he couldn't convince the students themselves. The young man who had tormented Xander throughout his sophomore and part of junior year, Larry, stood with a flame thrower, a girl helping him figure out how to hide it under his graduations robes.

Riley stood back and watched as Xander took command of this group, reminding students where he had them assigned, and what each needed to do. Xander pointed at the map where the first line of guests would sit. Three of the soldiers including Riley would be there, waiting until the mayor ascended. Two more would be off to the side with a rocket launcher. Angel couldn't hear Xander from the far corner of the gym, but the light pointer he was using strayed over to that corner before it darted into the crowd and shone on a couple of cheerleaders. The crowd laughed. The cheerleaders didn't. Angel remembered a day when Xander would have cringed away from putting himself in the center for anything other than a quick joke and a retreat, but now Xander's voice grew louder and the laser pointer focused on the school itself.

"... to blow him back to hell," Xander's voice rose above the general din. The seniors screamed their approval.

Sometimes time amazed Angel. Not so long ago, Xander had been this child who had poked and pricked at him, and now he stood in front of these young warriors, giving them the plan that he and Oz had developed. The two boys... the two young men... had claimed to know the strengths and weakness of their classmates better than Captain Finn, and so Riley had stood back and watched as they devised their battle strategy.

Xander's voice had dropped back down again, but the laser pointer went to the side entrance to the school. The sixth soldier would be with Giles ready to set the munitions off once Buffy tempted the mayor into chasing her through the main doors. As plans went, it was insane, but it was actually more feasible than the plan to stop the Master had been. That, too, had been Xander's. Angel smiled at the memory of Xander showing up at the apartment armed with a cross and a whole lot of indignation. Angel hadn't even really understood what Xander meant by storming the castle, but even by then he'd figured out that it was easier to follow Xander than to try to talk him out of helping.

Riley was learning that lesson now. Angel could see from the way the soldier reacted that he instinctively wanted to put the students into a position of safety. Buffy had quashed that urge by slamming him into a wall. While Xander could probably beat Riley one-on-one, he had avoided that kind of fight in favor of beating Riley down the same way he had beaten Angel down: sheer determination and a stubborn belief in his own correctness. It helped that Xander could face down Spike when Spike would have cheerfully eaten Riley and his two lieutenants. Humans were not so different from vampires. Angel supposed he shouldn't be surprised given that vampires came into this world with the memories of humans. Spike frightened Riley. Xander with his threats of country music marathons frightened Spike; therefore, Riley did tend to look at Xander as someone worthy of fear.

"Boy toy's all grown up," Faith said softly as she stood behind him in the shadows.

"He's still Xander," Angel said. Three years ago, Xander had walked up to him and called him a pedophile. He'd put his life on the line in order to do the right thing and protect his friends. Xander might have grown, but he wasn't all that different. However, Angel couldn't help but think about how different his own life was. It was chaotic and confusing and if Spike made one more comment about his habit of going to church, he was going to strip the skin from the younger vampire's back, but it was a life Angel wanted to live. In his entire existence, he had never wanted to live. He wondered if he could have found that without Xander and his endless love for life.

"Is he okay?" Faith asked. She'd been more subdued since she flew in from Cascade, but for the first time, Angel had the feeling she understood what she'd done to Xander. It made it easier to control his own burning anger over the event. Father Peter did say that forgiveness of others was a prerequisite for being forgiven, and Angel was working on it. Forgiveness had just never been one of his strengths.

"He's good." Angel considered that for a second. "He's annoying."

She laughed. "Yeah, that's Xan. Look, Big-A—"

"You don't have to say it," Angel said as he turned his back on Xander and looked at her. She was wearing an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt that actually covered her breasts, but she smelled of Spike and sex and still had that danger painted on her every move, even if Blair had managed to peel off a few layers.

"Yeah, I do. I'm just not ready to say it to him. I fucked up, you know?"

"Not nearly as bad as others have," Angel said seriously. "In fact, if you ask Xander, he'll say he made the mistake."

She snorted her disbelief at that. "He didn't do anything wrong. Fuck. I really have made some mistakes, A."

"He'll forgive you. Giles and Buffy will, too."

"Yeah, but like the Sandman says, I have to forgive myself first. I'm not ready to deal with any of them forgiving me, not yet. It's easier to have the jagged edges here, to keep people away. When I start caring about people... fuck, it just hurts when I screw them over, which is why it's easier to just not let anyone close."

"You're still my clan. You have to heal these edges eventually," Angel said as he reached out and let his hand rest on her shoulder. She had come immediately when he'd called, but he did worry about this new and quieter version of Faith. Last night she'd still slayed with reckless abandon, but this afternoon she wasn't the girl he'd met in that hotel room a year ago. He would like to hope that she was healing as Blair promised him, but she seemed so much sadder.

"It helps... knowing that." She shrugged. "I'm just not ready yet. I mean, if you call, I guess I have to come seeing as how you're the man and all, but I just need some space."

"Should I have left you in Cascade for this?" Angel asked, worried that she wasn't ready to be back here.

She laughed, and for a second, she was the old Faith. "And let you idiots get killed and open a new door to hell? No fucking way. If there's world ending to be had, I am the girl to stop it." The joviality passed and she inched a little closer as she looked down at the gathered group. Xander was talking to Riley and Father Peter was walking through the graduates, blessing swords and flame-throwers and bottles of water. The man had handled Angel's secret far better than he expected, but then as Father Peter explained, the Catholic church was not nearly as quick to give up old suspicions and superstitions as the rest of the world.

Angel let his arm drape over Faith's shoulders. "Are you okay up in Cascade?"

She considered that for a moment before making a wry face. "Horny as hell. Blair might look like a pushover, but the Sandman is made of iron. It's enough to make a girl think she isn't irresistible." She twitched her body invitingly, but he resisted temptation. He could almost see the child inside her today, and he had no intention of ever bedding a child. She needed him in other ways far too much for him to let his vampire instincts rule him on this point. Besides, he was getting good at denial with Xander around. The closer the young man got and the more he stood up and started showing himself to be a man, the more the old instincts rose in Angel... to claim, to mark, to put the boy under him and make his strength part of Angel's own. He shoved his attraction to Faith into the same corner where he hid his lust for Xander. He'd later fill his needs with Spike, and use that renewed connection to sate his demon.

"As long as you're okay," Angel finally said.

Faith didn't answer and Angel studied her. She caught his expression and planted an elbow in his stomach just hard enough to ache a bit. "Don't get your pity going because I can kick your ass."

"You can try," Angel said calmly.

She grinned at him for a second before the expression faded. "I'm getting to be okay with not being okay, does that count?"

"That's a good place to start." Angel tightened his hold on her, and her eyes got bright before she shoved him away.

"Fuck, I'm not good at this shit. Look, are we ready to move out yet? I'm ready to kill something. If the eclipse and fight doesn't start soon, Spike's going to start ripping the bricks out of the walls down there," she said with a laugh.

Angel scanned the gathered crowd on the gym floor below. Father Peter had vanished, but Xander was huddled closely with Riley and Larry. Larry kept looking to Xander as if for reassurance, and Angel couldn't help but notice Giles watching with an almost confused expression. No doubt the watcher wondered when he'd missed seeing the boy grow up. Then again, Buffy seemed to be spending more and more time taking command of her own missions, probably due to Wesley's short tenure as her watcher. The children were growing into adults.

"It's on schedule," he told her. Buffy and Ms. Calendar and Willow stood near one of the doors, and Riley walked over to them, his body tense and his eyes alert. Two weeks of Spike "assisting" in the training of Riley's team, and the man had learned to twitch at every leaf rustle. Angel was man enough to admit that he found that amusing. Xander had laughed his ass off the first time Spike disabled Riley's entire team. But despite being knocked down more often than Angel could count, Riley did keep getting up again. It was a good group gathered here.

Faith leaned forward and studied the room for herself. "We're going to win this, right? I mean, Xander and Buffy, they have this weird idea that the good guys always win, so I don't trust their judgment for shit. You tell me this is going to work," Faith's voice didn't carry any emotion, but Angel knew enough about her past now to know that she had reason to doubt the good guys. They'd rarely won in her life.

"We're going to win," Angel said confidently. "The old ones were not invincible, and with this group, the mayor is going to discover that much quicker than he expected," Angel said firmly. "And if the mayor doesn't fall for the explosives in the library trap, the army has two divisions on the edge of town waiting to come in and end this."

She nodded. "So, plan one is to take this fucker out, and plan two is to survive long enough to let the soldier boys take him out."

"That's about it," Angel agreed. "But if we can't deal with this, the army is going to move in here full time."

"We could just let them have the fucking hellmouth. It's not like B or I want to babysit a hole in the ground," Faith suggested.

Angel thought about that for a second, only because he needed to explain this in a way that Faith could understand. For Buffy, guarding the hellmouth was a sacred duty. Faith had been surrounded by people who had no concept of sacred and who had stripped her of her illusions. "Do you trust human beings to resist temptation?" Angel asked her.

She looked at him incredulously.

"That's why we can't let the army take control," Angel pointed out. "People give in to temptations. I did," he said softly.

Faith snorted. "Subtle, A... real subtle. I get it. I'm not alone in the fucking up. So, we keep the hellmouth. Now, can we please go kick some ass? Spike and I'll handle the incoming vampires and random baddies, you watch your boy, Buffy can kill the big boss. It's a plan."

"Go get in position. When the eclipse starts, Spike will find you," Angel said, giving her a pat on the arm. She had a strange look on her face, but she backed away for a few steps before turning and trotting toward an exit. Blair had told him that for her, touching had always led to abuse, and so she wanted and feared touches in equal parts. He was working with her on how to accept normal affection and supportive touches without trying to turn them sexual, and so Angel was trying to reinforce that same lesson. It wasn't easy when the smell of his childe's semen on her body made his beast want to go farther. As Angelus, he would have reveled in all that wounded power and raw sexuality. He would have taken her from Spike and taunted Spike about it. He still felt that temptation even now.

"I thought I saw you up here," a voice said softly. Angel nodded at the father as he watched the students line up and start heading out the building.

"Thank you for coming."

"It seems a small enough gesture, blessing their weapons before they fight to save me and my congregation," Father Peter said. "It makes me wonder if I shouldn't pick up a sword myself."

"One more untrained sword won't matter in this fight," Angel pointed out as he headed toward the stairs. Father Peter followed. He didn't answer until they had reached the main floor of the gym.

"I imagine not. Sadly, I'm afraid I would be more of a danger to our side than the other. However, I plan to stay and help the injured and give a last blessing to those who die. Suffering and dying in the fight against evil is a noble end, but I never thought I would see children doing the dying."

"It's always been children," Angel said as he stood just inside the doors, watching as the graduates walked to the slow music that played over the loudspeaker. "Every war, every crusade... they were commanded by men but fought by children." Angel thought about Lawson on that submarine he had recovered for the army. The man had been little more than a child and still so eager to prove himself and so willing to die. Angel had turned him because Lawson had asked to be turned, because the human Lawson would rather be survived by a vampire than die knowing that the submarine would sink without his engineering skills. He'd been so very much like Xander.

"You're a little depressed today. Aren't you supposed to be psyched up for the fight?"

Angel turned to look at Father Peter. "We'll win," Angel said firmly.

"If God wishes us to, yes, but for someone who claims confidence, you seem more tense than usual."

Angel stepped out into the sunlight and checked the position of the rocket launcher team before he turned his attention to the small man who now stepped in front of the graduating class.

"Should I be looking forward to seeing death and destruction?" Angel asked. He hated the fact that part of him was looking forward to the smell of human blood and the cries of the dying. His demon could only revel in life when he watched another die, and Angel did not like what that said about his own soul when he'd been alive.

"You might be looking forward to finally ending this long battle. I've presided over too many funerals in the last months, many more than I would have ever expected." Father Peter stood in the shadow of the bushes and watched Angel curiously.

Angel didn't answer right away, but his eyes found Xander sitting near the front. Xander had put himself in charge of the main assault, which meant making himself the rallying point for those who would be going forward against the mayor. When Spike had caught wind of the plan, they had fought until both Spike and Angel had suffered broken bones. Spike wanted to pull Xander off to safety, and a big part of Angel wanted to do the same, but it was in Xander's nature to be up front.

"What if he dies?" Angel asked softly. Xander's head was nodded in that peculiar rhythm it would get when he was pretending to pay attention.

"He will eventually," Father Peter said.

"I know." Angel ended the conversation by simply stepping away and starting to walk along the back of the gathered chairs. The mayor was up front now, and several members of the back row were starting to get restless. The heavier and weaker students who could not be convinced to stay home were in back, tasked with the job of chasing parents away by yelling about a gas leak and hallucinations. Riley and his two men along with a unit of students including most of the cheerleaders, Oz, Wesley, and the swim team would be fighting off any attack from the rear to open up a retreat. Riley had hated the position Xander had given him and had argued against it, but in the end, Xander had won. They needed the retreat open, and they needed to have some of their top fighters at the rear.

Angel was more reassured by the fact that Spike and Faith would be coming up behind any reinforcements. But none of that mattered right now. Xander would be in the middle; he would not try to retreat. If the Gem of Amarra worked for humans, Angel would have forced the boy to wear it. It did not, and Angel had no idea how to protect him when he insisted on throwing himself in the middle of the fight.

The sky went dark and now the mayor started changing, his head peeling away, and Angel started running. A student screamed, and then Buffy was up yelling, "Now!" at the top of her lungs. Angel cursed in Gaelic as he threw himself over the last few rows of students to reach Xander just in time for him to climb onto a chair and make an even bigger target of himself.

"Flamethrowers!" Xander screamed and a half dozen students threw off their robes and targeted the mayor who seemed to be transforming into a giant snake. The snake hissed and rose up from the ground, but the fire didn't slow him down.

"First wave!" Xander yelled, obviously forgetting the small microphone Riley had carefully fitted on his shirt. "Fire!" Crossbows came out and a dozen blessed arrows sailed across the sky, tiny puffs of smoke going up where the touched the demon. Behind them, people were screaming, and Riley was barking out commands in his military shorthand. Xander glanced back for a second, but then he clenched his jaw and turned back toward the mayor. "Fire!" he called again and a dozen more arrows flew out.

A young minion came barreling through the crowd, targeting Xander as the one shouting directions, and he bared his fangs. Angel waited until the vampire got close enough and then reached in and ripped the vamps heart out. The demon had a second to look shocked before he exploded into dust.

Rather than retreat from the attack, the mayor, now a giant snake, struck at the first line of students. "Second wave! Fire!" Xander screamed. These were the big guns. From the side, Riley's rocket launch team fired their weapon which screamed toward the demon just as Ms. Calendar launched a giant green fireball. The two hit the snake on either side, and it reared up, shaking its head.

The little man from earlier was now out front shouting, "This is simply unacceptable! Unacceptable!" Before anyone could move, the snake darted down and snatched the little man up and swallowed him. Angel flashed into gameface and snarled at the evidence of the beast's speed. He should get Xander away.

"We're having to fall back!" Riley's voice shouted over the general screaming, and Angel could see the nice straight lines waver as students who had been organized just moments ago began to panic.

"Arm bow men," Xander shouted before he reached up and finally remembered to switch on the microphone. Many of the students turned their backs to the mayor, but others stood frozen in harm's way. Angel glanced toward Xander before making a run for the closest of the fools in trouble. "Fire!" Xander shouted, and Xander's voice now boomed out over the entire crowd. Yanking two students back into the rough circle of defenders, Angel flinched as three more students ran for it, running right into the arms of a group of vampires. "Fire!" Xander called again.

With a whoop, Spike literally flew into the fray, leaping from the back of one vampire to land on a group of them and began dusting with undisguised glee.

Several vampires broke through the defensive line, and Angel raced back toward Xander who now seemed to be the target for a good number of them. Larry took out one, shoving the end of his bow into the creature's chest before tackling a second one to the ground. Xander's eyes went comically large before the third vampire tackled him off the chair.

"Aw, shit, no," Xander's voice rang out, the microphone still on. The sound of a vampire exploding into dust went out over the crowd. "That's what you get for crashing our party, fangface," Xander said with glee. Angel reached the fight, and staked the vampire who had pinned Larry to the ground, checking the boy who was weak and punch-drunk, but still alive.

"Hand to hand!" Xander shouted. "Stakes and holy water!" He was standing his ground with his own stake in hand as he stepped in front of Larry and two other fallen students. Father Peter had appeared from nowhere and was kneeling with them, holding a bandage to a girl's throat. "Show 'em who owns this town," Xander yelled, and then he threw himself into the fight, a stake in one hand and his cinquedea in the other.

Angel pulled his own sword and beheaded three vampires who pulled up short at the sight of a human attacking them. All around, dust swirled up into the air and the smell of blood clogged his nostrils. Keeping close to Xander, Angel attacked any vampires in sight, watching with determined joy as one after another turned to dust under his sword. The whole time, Spike moved closer, the feeling of kin growing closer as Spike drew near.

A huge vampire appeared now, and Angel could tell he had more years on him that most. Rather than sailing right into the fight, he worked along the edge, his eyes never leaving Angel. Where the hell was Buffy and the explosion? Angel gritted his teeth as Xander slowed, human muscle not able to keep up with demonic strength.

"Spike!" Angel called out desperately hoping that his childe could defend Xander before he turned to face the newest threat. The vampire smiled with glee and brought his own sword up. But the stance wasn't right. He didn't look ready to counter a blow. Angel didn't catch that something was wrong until he felt the pressure of the stake go through his heart. He froze, his body locked in place by fear as he saw the tip of the wooden stake just peeking out from his chest where someone had driven it in from the back. Angel turned to find a much smaller vampire standing there with a smug expression.

"NOO!" Xander shouted, and his sword decapitated the vampire before it could react to the charging human. Without Angel saying anything, Spike sailed past him, his hands held out like claws as he grabbed the large vampire and physically ripped his head off.

"I'm okay!" Angel gasped out, and then an explosion ripped the sky open, throwing him forward onto Xander. A second explosion followed, and then garbage was raining down onto them: ashes and papers and bit of wood and drywall and tiny pieces of twisted metal.

"Cover the fucking wounded!" Spike called out. It wasn't exactly the phrase Xander had written into his plan, but the students who hadn't panicked or bolted started grabbing military issue plastic covers from under bushes and tables to fling them over the fallen.

"You're..." Xander reached down and touched the tip of the stake where it protruded from Angel's chest. He looked up at Angel with eyes ringed white with fear.

"Fuckin' hell, you always did know how to grab the center of attention," Spike said as he appeared over them and ripped the stake out of Angel's back.

Angel roared in pain and arched his back.

"Big baby," Spike declared. "Sun'll be up in a minute, you lot alright?" he asked. For all his brash attitude, Angel could see the uncertainty and worry there.

Angel nodded. "Yeah, we're fine, get to cover." He waved his hand at Spike. For a second, Spike reached out and touched his shoulder. Angel caught his wrist in a hand and for a half second, they just touched. Even without saying anything, Spike's love and need and fear of loving and needing shone through. Sometimes Angel regretted that he had beaten the boy into hiding those all-too-human emotions. "Be safe," Angel said, knowing that Spike would be suspicious of anything more. The words were enough because Spike smiled brightly.

"Always, luv. You know me, land on my feet and all." Spike wiggled his eyebrow at Xander, and then he was gone, racing across the lawn still sprinkled with the debris of the school and crying students.

"Tell me we got the bastard," Xander said, and the military issue microphone was still working. The students fell silent, crying muffled as everyone waited for the answer to that. Reaching up, Xander pulled off the microphone and tossed it aside.

"This is officially a demon free graduation ceremony, congratulations graduates of 1999," Buffy called from the far side of the lawn. The cheer started going up as students struggled to their feet.

Xander broke into a wide grin. "We did it," he said, clutching Angel's arms. "We did it. I don't know how we did it, but we did it." He reached up and touched the bloody spot where the stake had pierced Angel's heart.

"The ring," Angel said softly as he let his own hand rest on the back of Xander's so that Xander's palm was pressed to his chest.

"You're never taking that off again," Xander said firmly. Then he caught Angel in a desperate hug. Angel returned it, clinging to a young man who he had come so close to losing. The smell of death pounded against him, reminding him of Xander's mortality. Slowly, the sun began to return, a wind stirring the dust that scattered the ground. Angel looked up to see Faith standing in the distance watching. He smiled at her. For a second, he thought she was going to come over. Instead, she held up a hand before turning around and walking down the street, her walk steady. She was okay physically, and Angel had to let her go long enough for her to find a way to be okay emotionally.

"You okay?" someone asked. Xander finally let go of him, and Angel reluctantly released the young man.

"We're good, Percy." Xander struggled up to his feet wearily as Angel studied the boy foolish enough to sleep with a slayer and then anger her. He was more stupid than he looked, but he had fought with them, and that earned him some forgiveness, at least from Angel.

"I need someone over here!" a voice called. Xander turned, and Angel had to physically catch him to keep him from falling. Adrenaline was failing the boy, leaving shock behind. Angel had seen the human body reach the same way time and again, even if he was usually the one inducing the adrenaline and shock through torture.

"Jonathon?" Xander asked. It was hard to recognize anyone under the blood and ash.

"She's hurt!"

"We need medical help here!" Xander called out, still leaning against Angel. When Xander's legs started to shake, Angel put his arm around Xander's waist to hold him up.

A young woman came running over, her cell phone already open. "They're sending ambulances. They need to know who's worst."

"She's bad," Angel said quietly. Xander flinched and looked away from the girl on the ground.

The next few moments repeated on an endless loop as Angel watched Xander flinch away from the evidence of the injured and the dead. He'd knelt next to one body and brushed long blonde hair back to reveal a brutally torn neck.

"Harmony," he had breathed. After that, Xander hadn't even had the strength to stand back up, and Angel had to all but lift him and guide him back to the place where they had all agreed to meet after the demon was defeated.

Flashing lights filled the air, and Angel could hear Wesley off somewhere at a distance complaining. "It's rather a lot of pain, actually. Aspirin? If you would…"

"Xander, are you okay?" Buffy asked as she got up from the ground.

"Willow." Xander had frozen, his fingers digging into Angel's arm as he looked at the girl's pale face.

"Hey, mister, no tragic faces. I'm just fine," she said stiffly. Oz was behind her, bracing her arm which was clearly broken. "This... this is just a way to get my parents to feel guilty enough to buy me that new car," she joked weakly.

Xander reached out mutely as though afraid to touch her. Slowly, he moved forward and sank to his knees next to her.

"My fireball needs work." Willow grinned crookedly.

"Bad aim," Oz commented, and she looked up and gave him a sheepish smile.

Riley appeared, nodding at Buffy, and for one moment, Angel thought the man was going to offer her a salute. Then his eyes slid down to the ground where Xander knelt next to Willow.

"Willow, do you need something for the pain until the medic can get here?" Riley asked, his hand going towards a pocket.

"Nope. I may only be an apprentice witch, but I can do a pain spell. I'm good," she answered. Riley looked doubtful, but he dropped his hand back down to his side. "I have one casualty: Forrest. Smythe was injured, but he'll be fine."

For a second, Buffy looked confused as she gazed around the scene. Angel wondered if it had even occurred to her that while she was doing the most dangerous job, others were more likely to die than she was. Ambulance workers had scattered across the grounds to tend to groups of students and identify the most injured. Luckily, their first wave had managed to evacuate before the mayor's army had come in or else Angel could just imagine the carnage that would have been laid out on the lawn. Neither Buffy nor Xander would have ever forgiven themselves if they had led their classmates into a massacre. He traded looks with Giles, and he could see the same worry in the other man. This would take an emotional toll on all the young people. Well, Buffy was Giles' concern... Angel just had to worry about Xander. Right now, Xander still knelt at Willow's side, his fingers barely touching her ankle.

"Harmony Kendell, Ursula Nadler, and Katrina—I'm not sure about her last name. I don't know how many injured." Xander spoke the names softly, but the group reacted by going silent. Angel only knew Harmony, but just the reminder of humanity's fragile hold on life left him struggling against his own instincts. He could preserve Xander, make him strong enough to hold a sword against an army of enemies, but if he did, he would lose Xander and have only the body left and not the soul that Angel had grown so fond of—even if it did annoy him.

Xander looked up at Riley and then Buffy. "We got off pretty cheap… considering." Xander looked around, and from the tight lines of his body, Angel was guessing that the young man considered the price anything but cheap. His eyes stopped scanning the crowd and he sat up a little straighter. Angel looked over, and Cordelia was standing in the distance, watching them. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and gray ash had drifted across her shirt in an abstract pattern, but other than that, the woman looked remarkable unmarked.

"Seems like we did," Buffy agreed weakly, not even noticing where Xander was looking. Cordelia nodded and then turned her back. For a second, Xander closed his eyes, and Angel could see the guilt and the pain still there under the surface. It was probably best that Faith wasn't around to see the results of her thoughtlessness. Riley was watching Xander curiously, and Angel found himself caught between wanting to backhand the soldier and order him away from Xander and feeling grateful that the man was observant enough to know when he didn't understand a situation. Xander looked up at Riley and shrugged.

Riley coughed and focused on Buffy again. "We got our asses kicked less than I thought we were going to when I saw the full-sized demon." His voice sounded almost joking and everyone looked at him.

"You're going to fit in just fine," Xander said with a smile as he tried to stand up. He didn't quite make it, and Angel reached down to help him up.

"There was a definitely lack of ass kicking on our side," Buffy agreed, "but I'm ready to sleep for about a year."

"I should imagine so. It's been..." Giles looked over at Angel... "it's been a difficult year, one in which we have to count ourselves lucky for having allies to see us through some remarkably difficult times."

Before Angel could say anything, Buffy was answering. "I am not up for counting anything. My brain is so fried I'm down to 'fire bad; tree pretty'."

"Fire pretty, demon go boom," Xander countered. Buffy smiled at him.

"Understandable," Giles offered.

"It was a hard battle, the hardest I've fought, and I've fought in a few classified areas with some pretty dangerous conflicts," Riley agreed. "I still have trouble believing that high school students are better trained than some of those units I've led."

Giles adjusted his glasses. "When everyone has recovered enough brain function to remember what is being said, I will make a point of congratulating you all on a job well done. There is a certain dramatic irony that's attached to all this. A Synchronicity that borders on… on predestination, one might say." Giles got a distant look on his face, and Angel braced himself for the man to ruin any goodwill by lecturing them on some petty watcher philosophy. Xander's hand clutched tightly at Angel's shirt.

Buffy said firmly, "Fire bad; tree pretty."

"Yes, sorry," Giles stammered, clearing his throat. "I'm going to see to Wesley, see if he's… is still… whimpering."

Buffy smiled at him. "Thank you. And tell Wesley he did good...even if he did whine a bit while doing the good," she amended herself.

"Yes, I will pass on your gratitude," Giles said before he hurried away.

Angel wondered if Giles felt the passing of that torch. Buffy wasn't his charge anymore. She was the commander subtly dismissing him and considering the field. Riley was certainly watching her with the same respect he'd shown the general. If Angel had to guess, he would say that Captain Finn's report would be complimentary enough to convince the army to leave Buffy in charge from now on. She would certainly have any support she needed, but hopefully they would see that she had the ability to defend her own territory. And if the army gave her any trouble, Angel had no doubt that his clan could enforce any rule she set with very little difficulty.

"So, once you've defeated the enemy, what do you do?" Riley asked. "Should we quarantine the dead? Do we need to do anything to control press coverage or minimize collateral damage from any splinter groups?"

Angel managed to not smile at the soldier's ignorance. Riley was simply lucky that Spike wasn't around to make fun of him and offer another "lesson" in hellmouth life. The last lesson with the field trip to Willy's place had left the unit traumatized. Angel figured if Spike didn't drive them away, they might make pretty good demon hunters eventually.

"Hellmouth blindness takes care of most of that," Buffy offered.

"Demons scatter. Their loyalty does not survive the death of the leader, so I wouldn't worry much about splinter groups," Xander added. "Most demons are a fickle lot."

Riley looked around at them. "So what is the post-op protocol?"

"We enjoy the moment." Oz nodded knowingly. Right now, Angel agreed with the werewolf because just feeling Xander's weight as he leaned into him was all he wanted to do. He wanted to hear Xander's heart beat and feel his warmth.

A paramedic hurried up to them, bag in hand. "Any wounded?"

"...and we're done," Oz finished.

"Oh! Me!" Willow said, raising her good arm.

The paramedic knelt down next to her, and Angel gently pulled Xander away. His Xander might have grown into a man, but he was still a man who was going to drive himself until he fell on his face and broke his nose if Angel didn't take him home and get him into bed.

"I guess... I'll see you tomorrow?" Xander asked as Angel pulled him toward the car.

"Go home, get some sleep. I'll call with Willow's room number at the hospital," Buffy promised. Xander had been offering a token resistance to Angel's pull, but with that, he yielded and followed Angel back to the car. The battle was over, and now it was time for each clan to withdraw to their own territories to heal.

"Home team two, apocalypses zero," Xander said quietly. He leaned nearly all of his weight on Angel, his head resting against Angel's shoulder. "We done good."

"Yes, we did," Angel agreed as he guided Xander's footsteps. They'd done well, and now it was time to go home to family.

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