Parts 11, 12, and 13 of Kin of the Heart
Rated SAFE

Full Circle on the Lesson

"I'm telling you, Angel, she is scary hot. It must be a slayer thing," Xander said as he stirred the pot. "And this is looking... okay, this is looking a lot like demon snot."

"It's potato," Angel sighed.

"With green stuff. Potato should not have green in it. It's a rule." That line worked when Xander told Angel he had to wave the ATM card in front of the machine in three counter-clockwise figure eights before putting it in... at least it had once, but now it was obviously not with the working.

"Colcannon has green stuff," Angel said dryly, and from the tone he used, Xander was so not getting out of at least trying it. "It's called cabbage."

"Seriously. You need to learn to cook something that isn't scary. Hey, how about eggs? You make a mean scrambled egg," Xander suggested hopefully. He had no idea who had turned Angel onto the concept of vegetables, but when he found out, there was going to be serious complaining and whining and potential arm punching in the future. Unless it was Cordelia, he was already in enough hot water with her.

"Try it. You'll probably like it. It has enough butter and cream that you probably won't even taste the vegetables. My mother used to make this."

Xander stopped, his mouth open to complain more. But it wasn't often Angel talked about his past, and rarer still that he talked about it without the stink of self-hatred that really and truly got old sometimes. Yeah, he loved Angel, but the guy could take annoying to whole new levels when he got the old Angelus stories out.

"I bet you complained," Xander teased instead.

"If I had, my father would have tanned my backside. No, I actually liked it. She often fixed it with rabbit."

That made Xander want to gag and check the hamburger package to make sure he was getting good old fashioned cow. Rabbit... yuck.

"And no, the hamburger is not made from rabbit," Angel said with a much put-upon sigh.

"Just wondering. I mean, you're trying to sneak green into my mashed potatoes, so I just wanted to make sure you know that hamburger is sacred to the American teen. There will be no desecration of the mighty cow burger."

Angel put the spatula down and faced Xander. "Do you want to know what I can smell in this?" he demanded as he poked a finger in the direction of the pan. "And I do not mean cow." Xander glanced over at the browning hamburger with the nice slice of perfectly processed yellow cheese on top as he considered that question.

"Okay, no, no I really don't. Hungry boy here, so can we please do the avoidy with the yucks?"

Angel sighed and rolled his eyes as he picked up the spatula again. "That's done," he said with a nod toward the pan Xander was stirring, and Xander scooped the hot colcannon into a bowl.

"So," Xander asked casually, "your mom fix this a lot?"

"Yes." Angel didn't elaborate, and Xander thought he might have missed his chance for a little poking around into the Angel-past. If he couldn't follow Buffy and Faith on patrol, poking Angel was the next best thing. Angel sighed. "She often fixed it. Others would have nothing else for dinner, or perhaps a nettle soup, but for us, it was a dish she served with rabbit or mutton. We ate meat four or five times a week, which was a luxury back then."

"Come on. You never once asked her to make it without the green?" Xander asked as he carried the bowl to a small table Angel had installed. Honestly, it looked like demon snot. If it didn't taste better than it looked, Angel was running a serious risk feeding him this stuff because an up close and personal relationship with human vomit was entirely possible.

Angel followed with one plate and his cup of blood. He handed over the plate with the hamburger and sat across from Xander, but from that embarrassed look, Xander already had his answer. "You big veggie faker, you so did," Xander accused him as he took a small pile of the stuff.

"I might have." Angel grinned. "She never would while father was around. He said she should not indulge me so much, and that he would simply have to correct any foolish ideas that she put in my head with such coddling." Angel's expression twisted. "And his idea of correcting my foolishness was rarely pleasant."

"She coddled anyway," Xander said confidently.

"Once or twice."

Xander considered his plate. If he took a quick bite of the colcannon first, he could maximize the amount of time the hamburger had to erase taste. Poking his fork into the mound, he got a small lump and shoved it in his mouth before he could change his mind. Creamy, salty, peppery, and buttery enough to block an artery. "Hey, this isn't bad," Xander said as he looked up in surprise. Okay, so he got a bit of the veggie in there, and it wasn't his favorite part, but overall, this was way better than his mom's mashed potatoes out of a box.

When Angel got that 'I told you' grin, Xander rolled his eyes. "I thought you might like it. The cabbage in it isn't bad," Angel said in that oh-so-annoying superior voice of his.

"Fairly edible, and the green bits are very ignore-worthy with all these potatoes which are great," Xander agreed. "And next time you are so fixing it without the cabbage."

"If you eat another vegetable," Angel agreed with a smile, and Xander's glare darkened. "The first time my mother fixed it without the cabbage, I must have been fifteen. My father was gone, invited by a business associate to Dublin to hear a concert..." Angel's eyes lost focus for a second. "George Frideric Handel 's Messiah. One of father's suppliers had received invitations, and they attended the premier in some hall on Fishamble Street."

"Way to go with the Young Indiana Jones-type reference there. I mean, you do mean Handle's Messiah, the one you made me listen to, right?" Xander asked before taking a huge bite of the burger.

"Yes, and the one you liked," Angel reminded him.

"It was pretty good. It still doesn't measure up to 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,' though," Xander mumbled around his food. He shoved in more colcannon before he totally swallowed, and nearly snorted a big mouth full of it right out his nose when he caught sight of Angel's expression. Oh yes, he was still the master of Angel baiting.

"So, what else do you think about this new slayer, other than she's attractive? You do know Cordelia will emasculate you if she hears you say that, don't you?" Angel added the second part after a brief hesitation.

"I already had an up close and personal discussion of me not taking an interest in naked Faith stories," Xander nodded, and he winced at the very thought of where Cordelia's fingernails had been pointed at the time. "But you'll protect me."

"Against Cordelia?" Angel asked with a snort. "You're on your own."

"Coward."

"Practical," Angel countered. "And what else do you think of this Faith?"

"Buffy told Willow who called me to tell me that it turns out her Watcher is dead and she actually did a runner from the Council." Xander took a big bite of hamburger.

"What? Where's she staying?"

Xander muttered and got the hairy eyeball from Angel. He managed to swallow before he tried again. "Some motel down on Elm."

"By herself?" Angel was half way up out of his chair.

"Chill," Xander said, "she's a big girl."

Angel got an extra special pinched look on his face, the kind of look that Spike sometimes got right before he said something totally offensive that led to Angel punching him. "Xander..." Angel said slowly and carefully. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen," Xander said suspiciously. This was Angel's 'there's a trap somewhere voice.'

"How old is Buffy?"

"Almost seventeen..." he said even slower.

"How long has she been a slayer?"

"Um, two years? I mean, I wasn't exactly around for the calling part, so it might be more like a year and a half or two and a half, but I'm slightly totally unclear on the details."

"So, how old are slayers when they're called?" Angel asked as he leaned forward against the table.

Xander blinked for a second as his brain tried to reset. No way. Absolutely no way. She was hot. And way big with the sexy. And she smelled like cigarette, so she couldn't be...

"Shit," Xander said as the truth hit him like a wet fish. Suddenly his dinner wasn't sitting too well on his stomach. Angel had already turned and headed for the door, his coat in hand before Xander could get up from the table.

"Do you want me to...?"

"Unless you want her to think I'm a local vamp trying to eat her, an introduction would be nice," Angel said, and Xander swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded as he headed for the door, his hand touching the hilt of his cinquedea tucked into the leg of his jeans as he hurried to follow Angel out into the night. Giles had said there was a big bad on the loose, and with Xander's luck, they'd run right into him. "She won't even have to invite vampires in at that place. What the hell is Giles thinking?" Angel sighed as they hurried out of the apartment, both their dinners abandoned.

"That she can take care of herself?" Xander guessed. Okay, when he thought about the fact that Faith was a fifteen year old kid, that sounded pretty stupid. From the look Angel gave him, Angel was thinking that too. "You know I'm not big with the Giles love, but to be fair, I so totally thought of her as an adult about two seconds after meeting her. She has a whole adult-vibe going for her, so you can't go getting all cranky."

"Xander, you're the one who pointed out that Buffy was a girl who needed to grow up without me hovering over her. How could you make this kind of assumption about another slayer?" Angel asked in a very unamused sort of voice. Xander felt his stomach twist with anxiety at that tone of voice.

"Hey, you're like two hundred and something. You're supposed to be smarter than me," Xander protested loudly, and that got either a twitch of a lip or a snarl. Sometimes it was hard to tell amused Angel from his pissed off alter-ego. Angel got into his convertible without another comment, and Xander slid into the passenger seat feeling about two inches tall.

"Tell me she's not at that place next to the warehouses."

"Um..." Xander shrank to one inch.

That time, it was definitely a growl, and Xander didn't bother to even answer, especially since Angel was not going to like the answer. God, how could they be so dumb, because with Angel glaring at him, he so thought leaving Faith alone was hugely stupid. Shit, she was younger than him, and he was so not even close to being an adult. He just assumed she was because she acted about thirty... a slutty thirty even. He grabbed the door and hung on as Angel took a corner way faster than he should.

The silence gnawed at Xander, freaking him out way more than any yelling. He'd rather have the yelling over with but Angel was doing the silently furious thing that set Xander's stomach churning. When Angel slammed into a parking space in front of the Elm street motel, Xander didn't even bother asking how Angel knew which room Faith was in. He just scrambled out of the car as Angel sort of swooped in on the hotel door.

Xander stopped when Angel's hand landed on his shoulder. "I can smell someone dead," Angel whispered. "Here. If something happens, get back to the apartment and call Buffy." Angel pressed the keys to the convertible into Xander's left hand. Whoa. Angel never let him drive the convertible. With fear rolling through him, Xander pulled out his cinquedea awkwardly, the hilt catching on the edge of his pant pocket for a second, and Xander almost hyperventilated.

"I'm backing you up."

Angel frowned for a second and then sighed deeply. "I smell an old vampire... an ancient one. If something happens, you get back to the car because I won't retreat until you're out of the line of fire."

That made Xander swallow and nod, his eyes wide as he looked around the dim parking lot. Anything that freaked Angel out pretty much turned Xander into a pile of nervous goo. With that, Angel turned to the hotel door, his hand slowly turning the knob as the metal strained and groaned under the supernatural force. The pop of the lock breaking was the only warning before Angel put his shoulder to the door and slammed it open.

"Holy fuck!" Faith shouted.

"Where's the vampire?" Angel demanded, and even from behind, Xander could tell he'd vamped out.

"Faith, this is Angel, good guy, on the no-stake list with Oz!" Xander shouted from behind.

"Chill, X, I'm not going to stake your vamp. And the only vampire here is you, cutie. Who the hell do you think you are breaking into my fucking room?"

"Like I said: Angel, good guy and occasional overreactor," Xander repeated as he followed Angel into the room. Faith stood with her arms crossed over her chest. Her naked chest. Her naked chest with naked boobies. Nice boobies. Xander's brain went on total shutdown until suddenly Angel's back interrupted the view of very nice Faith boobies.

"So you're Xander's pet vamp? Nice. I didn't think they came so cute," Faith said in that flirty, no-way-can-she-be-fifteen voice.

"I can smell an old one," Angel said, and now he just sounded confused. Xander poked at his back to try and make Angel move, but it didn't work.

"Kakistos... yeah, he was just here. B and me, we kicked his ass right on back to hell."

"Kakistos?" Angel echoed, and from the tone, Xander was guessing he knew the name.

"Yep. Only now he's known as dust," Faith said. Xander almost groaned in disappointment when he spotted a hand grabbing a shirt up off the bed. He was losing prime boobie time here. He poked Angel again, and again the big lunk was playing statue.

"I thought you might be in trouble."

"Not until some vamp broke down my door," Faith quipped back, and now Angel moved. Now that Faith was totally, if indecently, dressed.

"If I can break down your door, so can any other vamp who comes here. This isn't a safe place."

Faith laughed as she grabbed some clothes out of a bag and started tossing them at the cheap dresser. "Don't need a babysitter, babe. And don't worry about the door. Slayer strength here, so I'll just shove the dresser in front of it easy enough."

"I don't care what you shove in front of the door, this isn't a safe place for you to stay." Angel took a step forward and Xander eased toward the door. Oh, this was going to be so very, very ugly. And he seriously hoped he wasn't talking dust and blood ugly, but both of them had on their stubborn faces now.

"And you're going to take care of me?" Faith demanded sarcastically, a sneer on her face.

"I am or I'll call social services and report a runaway minor," Angel said, and that would be Faith's really, really pissed expression. Xander was discovering whole new levels of terror tonight. She cracked her neck and let her arms hang at her sides, and even Xander could read the warning in that body language, and he wasn't exactly a fast learner in the fighting department.

"Stay the fuck out of my business, mister. You don't, and you'll be sorry."

"There are many things for which I am eternally sorry, but I will never regret trying to do the right thing by someone who deserves it," Angel said, and Xander could see the surprise and confusion flit across Faith's face.

"What? When they gave you a soul, did they give you some saint's soul by accident or something?" she demanded with a frown.

"They gave me a soul, period. What I choose to do with it is up to me. And right now, I'm telling you that one slayer has already died on the Hellmouth. You aren't safe staying in a hotel."

"Kendra," Faith nodded and pursed her lips together. "That would be your kid who did the killing, right?"

Okay, that was so totally below the belt. Xander could see Angel flinch from the vicious words.

"Hey, Angel is not responsible for what Spike did, no more than I'm responsible for the fact my father has the parenting skills of... um... something really unparenty. Obviously, I'm not big with the biology metaphors, but the point is that you don't get to take cheap shots at people I care about," Xander finished firmly.

"Homeboy's got himself a crush," Faith smirked, and she suddenly reminded him way too much of Spike.

"On you?" Xander asked her, "totally. But then I have a long history of lusting after scary women, as evidenced by the fact that I date Cordelia who is as close to an eviscerating, man-eating demon as you can come without leaving the human species. And I don't want to see you dead, either."

The smirk vanished as Faith just stared at him for a second. "Babe, I can take care of myself," she said more softly.

It was Angel who replied as he laid a hand on Xander's shoulder to quiet him. "You're a slayer. You have powers that will only grow over time; however, that does not mean you should be alone. Buffy has her mother and Giles. You shouldn't be here."

"So, are you offering to be my watcher?" Faith asked with a laugh and a body twitch that woke up parts of Xander that really wanted some immediate attention. He shifted his cinquedea in front of his body and hoped that hid the lump that was forming.

"No," Angel quickly answered with a disgusted expression. "The watchers are..." Angel paused.

"Hey, no making of more weirdness on the Giles issue," Xander ordered him with a poke.

Angel sighed. "The watchers make choices I do not approve of, and they have no love for me. Most of them would be just as happy to stake me, soul or no soul."

"Then why don't they?" Faith asked as she sat on the edge of the bed, her legs sprawled so that Xander had a whole different set of dirty thoughts. Oh, Cordelia would so murder him if she ever developed any mind-reading ability.

"They're not that powerful. They control a slayer... perhaps two slayers now... a handful of human hunters, and a thousand researchers. They couldn't take me out without a slayer and every human hunter they employ."

"And you make sure the slayers won't go up against you or your family," Faith guessed.

Angel's body stiffened at the accusation. "I didn't help or encourage Spike to fight Kendra. She did that because she believed what the watchers told her about going after every demon she found. She would have come after me if she wasn't so enamored of Xander," Angel said softly. Xander looked up at him.

Xander laughed. "Okay, revisionist memory much? Kendra did not want to go after you and she was not enamored of anyone except maybe Giles who she was enamoring of just because he had the watcher thing going for him."

Angel moved to drape an arm over his shoulders. "Xander, you are insightful when it comes to almost everything except love... and vegetables. She was completely enamored of you and did not want to stake your friend. It's the main reason I stayed away from her."

"And you're not giving me the same pass because I'm not trying to get in home boy's pants?" Faith asked with a snort, which ruined a perfectly good moment of shock and mental rearranging on Xander's part.

"I don't think you're a tool of the Watchers' Council. If they told you to kill a harmless Brakken child or stake me, I think you'd make up your own mind about right and wrong. I don't think my soul confuses you the way it confused Kendra," Angel answered.

For a long minute, Faith just stared at him while Angel stared back. Slowly she shook her head. "Buddy, you have some damn strange ideas."

"Yes," Angel agreed, "I do. And right now, I think a fifteen year old should have a home that is paid for, food she doesn't have to buy... or steal," Angel amended after a moment, "and someone who will watch her back when she goes patrolling."

"And you're offering that?" Faith asked. "In return for what?"

"In return for knowing I did the right thing," Angel answered with hesitation. He walked over to the nightstand and picked up a pad of paper and a cheap pen. "This is my address. I own the apartments on the basement level, so I can set you up in the apartment next to mine. If you'd rather stay with Buffy or Giles, that's fine." Angel held out the paper with his phone number and address to her, but she didn't move from her spot at the end of the bed. "However, if you're still living by yourself at the end of the day tomorrow, I will call social services, and hold you down until the social worker comes to get you." Angel dropped the paper and it fluttered to the bed.

"Um, he's a little bullying on the whole what's good for you front," Xander warned Faith. "He made me eat vegetables tonight. But hey, if you stay with Angel, we'll get to see each other because I stay in the apartment next to his four or five nights a week." Xander wisely didn't mention that with vamp hearing, staying in the next apartment was pretty much the same as staying in the same room. He could have cartoons on so softly that he could barely hear them, and Angel would yell about how he had to get up for school in the morning.

"Three years isn't that long... I'm just asking you to let someone help you for three years," Angel said softly.

Faith looked from one to the other, and Xander could see a vulnerability there he'd never seen in Faith before. "Three years? I'll be dead before I hit eighteen," she said grimly.

"If you rely on watchers, probably," Angel nodded. "But Buffy's nearly seventeen now. Plenty of demons and half demons live full lives with powers no different from yours."

Xander opened his mouth to ask which ones exactly, but Angel turned and stalked from the room, and Xander got pulled along for the ride. He realized he still had his cinquedea in hand and shoved it through his pocket and into the scabbard hidden under his pants as Angel manhandled him out to the car.

Angel left him on the passenger side, and Xander hurried to get in. With Angel's mood tonight, he did not want to aggravate the vamp any more. Angel got in and held out his hand, and it took Xander a second to remember that he still had Angel's keys. Handing them over, he buckled in and waited to see just how angry Angel was going to be. Going back tonight, Xander could see how scared Faith was... and the bit about her having to steal food—that sounded unfun. Unfun and outright abusive. If Buffy didn't have Joyce, how much would Giles give her? Buffy had given Kendra some of her old clothes just so the girl would have something to wear, so he was thinking that the watchers were not big on union pay scales.

"Angel, okay, I'm officially stupid, and I'm really sorry for not even considering how hard this all was for Faith," Xander said softly. He really, really just wanted the yelling over with.

"I had trouble seeing her as fifteen, too," Angel admitted softly. "She seems a lot older than Buffy."

"Way older," Xander agreed, hoping that meant that there might not be yelling.

"It's strange to think that she should be in tenth grade. She'd eat a tenth grader for lunch and spit out the bones," Angel said with a little bit of his dark humor.

"I hope you mean that in the not-literal way because I'm saying no to homicidal slayers."

"I don't know. You know what tenth grade boys are like. Would she kill one?" Angel's lips twisted into a wry grin.

Xander thought about Larry and Andrew and Percy West and even the very geeky and occasionally inappropriate Tucker Wells. Okay, the often inappropriate Tucker Wells. Oh yeah, Faith would pretty much kill all of them. "She won't be enrolling in school... right? Please? I mean, doing good has to include minimizing the odds of full-scale massacre, right?"

"Even at fifteen, she's probably a little old for high school," Angel agreed. "She's certainly not Buffy."

"Oh that's a big no on the Buffy front," Xander agreed with a nod. "Huge no. Enormous no. Worlds of no. I don't even think Buffy knows the word 'fuck'."

"Your dinner is going to be cold and disgusting," Angel said as he turned into a drive through.

"Um, before we eat, is there going to be any yelling?" Xander asked uncertainly. It seemed like the potential for yelling had diminished, but you could never tell, and he always had trouble keeping food down during a full-on screaming match.

"What? Why?" Angel looked at him in confusion.

"Oh, the whole part where I screwed up and left Faith out there by herself," Xander said, flinching away from having to even say the words. Oh yeah, sometimes he took dumb to whole new levels.

"Xander," Angel sighed. He shook his head and pulled in behind a green van. "I was so angry at my father that I turned my back on my whole family including a mother and sister who loved me. I wanted to see the world, but I spent every cent getting some barmaid to spread her legs. I followed Darla into an alley even though I knew she was up to no good. I didn't know she was a vampire, but I knew following her would lead to trouble. You have a long ways to go if you hope to match me bad decision for bad decision."

"Really?" Xander could feel the band of anxiety around his stomach loosen, which really reminded him that he was hungry.

Angel shook his head. "Really, and you don't have to sound so happy about that."

"Sorry," Xander offered. "Hey, get me a double cheese burger and large fries," he said as they moved forward to the speaker. "Potatoes are vegetable-like, you know, what with growing in the ground." Xander gave Angel his sweetest smile. While Angel might sigh and roll his eyes, he did at least order what Xander wanted and let him eat in the convertible as they headed back to the apartment. And maybe, if Faith had any sense, the apartment on the other side of Angel would be occupied soon enough.

The Care and Feeding of Humans

Angel ran the sharpening stone along the edge of his knife again. It was already sharp, but Angel didn't know what else to do. He'd even gotten desperate enough to turn the television on for a few minutes, but some show with a guy in cowboy boots doing karate moves was beyond his understanding of modern culture. And he definitely was not asking Xander about it because Xander's explanations were sometimes impossibly complicated. At least now he could understand a good fifty percent of them, which was an improvement over when the boy had first started showing up. Back then, Angel had understood very little.

With a growl, he slammed the knife down on the table and picked up his phone, punching numbers in slightly harder than he should, but at least he didn't break it this time.

"Speak to me," the voice on the other end offered cheerfully.

"Remind me again why I don't just lock him in a room," Angel almost growled. The man on the other end laughed.

"Oh man, I hear that! Xander giving you grief again? What, did another demon decide to spawn with him?" Blair chuckled.

"He's at some dance," Angel admitted. Saying it out loud, it sounded rather trivial, especially since he was at a dance with two slayers, one of whom he had personally threatened if she didn't bring Xander home in one piece. Of course, Faith tended to take his threats as some sort of amusing suggestion, so he wasn't as confident in his ability to inspire loyalty as he once might have been.

"It's not like you to be this freaked. What's up?"

"I have no idea. There's something to do with royalty at this party and Xander is caught between Buffy and Cordelia who both want to be royalty, but only one of them can be. It's very confusing, and Xander is not always clear in his explanations."

"Prom queen?" Blair nearly choked. "They both want to be prom queen? Oh shit. Teenage girls are scarier than most demons I know when it comes to being prom queen."

Angel closed his eyes and stretched his neck as he tried to work his tight muscles. "Xander is concerned and stressed. His friend Willow expects him to play boyfriend when her werewolf is busy, and she continues to lust after him. Buffy and Cordelia are fighting, and he is trying to make them both happy, and the watcher continues to annoy the unlife out of me."

"Man, it was easier when you just ate humans, wasn't it?"

Angel blinked, his brain not even able to process that comment. "You're joking," he finally whispered.

"Totally not. I mean, yeah, I get that you were a total badass, and as one of the potential food sources, I am all in favor of you valuing your soul. But seriously... this must have been easier pre-soul. I mean, eating a human is easy, but the care and feeding of one is like... whoa... seriously complicated."

Angel's guts tightened at the blithe way Blair was just commenting on something so horrific as his years before the soul. He'd been a monster. Nothing was easier. Except it had been easier, and Angel was not comfortable admitting or even thinking about that. "You're an annoying individual," Angel finally declared.

"Well, yeah. But man, you have taken on Xander Harris as a project, so I happen to know that you're into adorable and cute."

"I have no idea how to help him with all these women in his life," Angel said as he stood and paced the floor. The apartment was too small. He should get something large enough that he could really move and maybe get a workout. A room for weapons training would give him more time to teach Xander how to use the crossbow. Right now, they had to wait until the townspeople finally abandoned the streets before practicing late at night, but if he had a larger place, he could have the boy practice longer without interfering with school.

"Earth to Angel," Blair shouted.

"What?" he snapped into the phone.

"Chill out. Seriously. I mean, we all survive high school, and the social trauma is a total rite of passage. Xander will come through without too many emotional scars."

"So, I should just let him struggle with this?" Angel asked. He didn't know what answer he wanted from Blair. If Blair told him to let this go, that meant that he was doing the right thing, but it also meant that he had to keep sitting back and doing nothing. He was remarkably uncomfortable doing nothing.

"You have to wait for him to ask for help, and Angel, he might not."

"It would be easier if they were not all so incredibly damaged," Angel sighed. "Buffy is now dating a boy who is clearly homosexual, and none of them seem to realize it. The boy is sexually interested in Xander, the captain of the football team, and some random man who passed us on the street when we patrolled together, but he has no sexual interest in Buffy. And she continues to feel lust for him. This Scott even gave her a claddagh ring and explained how it represented friendship, and she failed to understand that he doesn't want to have sex with her."

Blair laughed. "That is every parent's fantasy... dating teens with incompatible sexual orientations. No sex is safe sex, my man."

"I don't care about Buffy's safe sex, I care about Xander once again turning himself inside out emotionally once they discover this deception."

Angel slammed his hand down on the table. He was nearing the end of his own emotional reserves, and still Xander continued to cater to everyone's needs but his own. When Giles had verbally ripped into Xander for falling asleep when guarding the werewolf, Angel had wanted to come out from behind the stacks and rip the watcher's head off. A child should not be asked to perform such a dangerous task. Certainly, Giles had never given him the proper training or education to deal with a werewolf if Oz had managed to escape, and there was no television, no radio... nothing in there to keep Xander from falling asleep. What did Giles expect? After the many times Angel had checked to find Willow or Buffy asleep at the same task, no one could claim to be surprised that one of the teens had fallen asleep on duty. Then again, he wondered if the arrogant little caffler even bothered to yell at the girls at all or if he saved his ire for Xander. Maybe it was time for another visit to the watcher because the lesson from the last visit was clearly wearing off.

"That's the risk of caring about someone who just cares. That's what makes Xander, Xander," Blair said, but Angel could hear the sympathy in the other man's voice. "Really sucks, huh?"

"He asks me things I don't know the answer to," Angel admitted with a great deal of frustration. "When Cordelia and Buffy were both trying to be royalty—"

"Prom queen," Blair corrected him.

"Prom queen," Angel growled back. "When they were both pressuring Xander to help, he asked me what he should do. I don't even understand why they want to be prom queen. Apparently there are no real jewels or any power or money attached to the position. I had no advice for him."

"Man, it's all about status. Whoever is prom queen is the high status female. Sure, there will be lots of smaller groups who will make fun of her behind her back. Totally. I was in those subgroups. But my point is that most of the people in the school will recognize her status. There are so few human rituals where they can actually compete for power that the rituals that do exist get totally out of hand. Now the concept of hazing at fraternities and sororities... oh man, that gets so nasty with the in-group/out-group and the assigning of status that you would think vampires set up the damn ceremonies."

"So, this is like a clan gathering," Angel tried to understand how royalty could be like vampires.

"Kinda," Blair agreed. "Only it's like all the vampires are the same age, so you need some consensus on who is the master. The crowning of the king and queen is like picking the master."

"And there will be some individuals or even groups sired by a particular vampire who refuse to recognize the master's power or who publicly acknowledge him while undermining him," Angel checked.

"Totally! Those are called cliques, only instead of being gathered according to who sired whom, they gather according to interest. All the kids who like chess will form one clique and choose their own leader within the subgroup."

"Like choosing a sire?"

"You got it."

"Then what happens when Xander has both Cordelia and Buffy demanding his loyalty?" Angel demanded, more upset than ever. Vampires caught between clans or between feuding elders within a clan rarely survived. And while he trusted both Cordelia and Buffy to physically protect Xander, they were both so very capable of emotionally crippling him.

"That is the stuff of teen angst," Blair said, and Angel did not like the tone of voice. "Chill, Angel. This is like the watered down, human version of status. No humans were harmed in the making of high school. Okay, a few were harmed, but people recover. Xander knows he always has you there making him eat his vegetables and go to bed on time, and he'll survive the rest."

"That doesn't seem like enough," Angel admitted with a frown. He wanted to do more... like lock Xander in a very small room just until all his friends finally grew up. Then again, considering his friends, he might be in that small room for a very long time.

"Trust me, it's enough."

"Is that Blair talking or a D'fatum demon?"

"It's Blair Sandburg, mostly human. Naomi did a great job with me as a mom, and most of the time, she just loved me and stood back and let me make my own choices and live with the consequences of those choices. Well, that and she made me eat vegetables."

"And Xander's going to turn out okay?"

"Man, you're doing all the right things to make sure Xander turns out great. He's going to be his own person though, Angel. He's not even your son or your consort, so you have to let him figure some of this out on his own."

"To borrow one of your phrases, that really sucks," Angel sighed. "And I have to go. I can hear Xander and Faith in the hall."

"Stay good."

"Good night, Blair," Angel answered as he stared at the phone looking for the 'end' button. Why couldn't they have one of those phones that you just hung up? Actually, his favorite phone was the one where you picked it up and someone was on the other end asking who you wanted to talk to. Those had been useful. Finally finding the right button, Angel disconnected the call and put the phone down on the counter before going back to the knife and sharpening stone at the table.

Faith was laughing as they came down the hall, so hopefully no one had been killed. Then again, with Faith, laughter might indicate mayhem and demonic attack. Angel hurried to the door and pulled it open to check on his humans. Xander looked stressed.

"They deserved that shit," Faith insisted.

"I'm never hearing the end of this. From either of them. I might as well just not go back to school because I will never be able to concentrate with the mucho gripe-o fest they're going to have going."

"What happened?" Angel demanded.

Faith laughed and headed for his door, ducking under his arm. When Xander came over and rested his forehead on Angel's chest as though upset, Angel growled at the lack of any answer.

"They both lost," Faith said cheerfully as she headed for the refrigerator.

"I'm never hearing the end of this," Xander said, his words muffled by Angel's chest. Xander pushed himself back and poked his finger at Angel's chest. "And it's all your fault."

"My fault?" Angel asked in confusion as Xander followed Faith to the kitchen. Had neither of Xander's girls been chosen for the queen? Faith wrapped her arms around the plate of left over fried chicken and bared her teeth when Xander tried to grab a piece. "And share before I make you wish you'd played nice in the first place," Angel threatened. Faith rolled her eyes but at least she let Xander grab a chicken leg before she started devouring the rest. "Is someone going to explain exactly how this is my fault?"

"I don't know," Xander shrugged, his mouth full of food. "It just is. I have to blame someone to avoid accepting any blame for myself."

Faith snorted. "Boy here has gone and got himself put in the dog house."

"The dog house?" Angel asked as he shut the door and put himself in front of it. No one was leaving this apartment until he understood what had happened.

"I was slow dancing," Xander admitted with a twist of his mouth.

"With Cordelia," Angel said. They had discussed this. Angel had even taught Xander a few steps, and that had not been easy since Angel was awkward when trying to take the girl's part, especially since he suspected that Cordelia would also prefer to lead.

"He wishes. Turns out Cordelia and Buffy went and got themselves kidnapped," Faith offered as she headed for the table, still guarding the plate of food. Xander grabbed for another piece, and Faith twisted out of his way, throwing out a hip to block him.

"Faith!" Angel warned with a growl.

"Yeah, sugar?" she flirted. Angel could feel his frustration eroding his control, and he knew the second his eyes turned yellow.

"Fine." She thrust the plate toward Xander with more force than needed, but he just smiled as he took a second piece.

Angel sighed as he realized that she was truly upset. "We can get more chicken if you're still hungry," he offered. Faith considered him through narrowed eyes for a second, and Angel couldn't avoid thinking that the girl was constantly judging him. He just wished he had some insight on what she was judging him about.

"Five by five with me. Actually, I think there's enough here. It's not like I was out killing any vamps and getting myself worked up," she shrugged as she gave Angel a wink. It was like getting hit on by your baby sister. Angel shoved that thought away as too disturbing to even contemplate. She turned a chair around backwards and straddled it.

"Are Buffy and Cordelia alright?" Angel asked, a bit of growl still in his voice. If Giles had to deal with multiple teenagers all day, perhaps Angel was being too hard on the man. This could drive anyone to insanity.

"Five by five," Faith repeated. Xander nodded, his mouth still full of chicken. "It's boy-toy you have to look out for. He went and slow danced with Red, and there were parts of him a little too interested, if you know what I mean. Cordelia shows up when they're on the dance floor, and I thought she was going to castrate him right there."

"I wasn't doing anything," Xander protested.

"Babe, that was doing something. It's called a hard-on," Faith smiled sweetly, and Angel flinched at the crudeness. No wonder everyone had trouble remembering she was fifteen.

"I'm a teenager. That happens when I dance, when I get dressed, when someone pokes me with a stick!"

"Kinky," Faith said with a wink.

"Okay, disturbing much?" Xander demanded as he finally dropped into one of the other chairs.

"I calls 'em as I sees 'em," she joked.

"Xander," Angel interrupted before Faith could make any other inappropriate comments, "why were you slow dancing with Willow?"

"I wasn't... or I was, but it was by accident. She was bored, and Giles was making really stupid finger sandwich jokes, and Oz was playing a fast song, so I invited her to fast dance."

"Only one flail into the fast dance, the band started a slow song," Faith finished. "At least I didn't have to rescue anyone from your flailing arms when you were slow dancing."

Angel frowned as Xander blushed deep red. While Xander might hate it when people tried to fight his battles for him, Angel was going to talk to Faith, just as soon as he had her alone. She should not go making Xander feel bad about himself, even if his attempts at fast dancing were sometimes dangerous. Angel would offer to coach the boy, as he had with slow dancing and fighting, both of which Xander was learning well-enough; however, Angel's own attempts at modern dance were lacking. Quite frankly, Faith would be the better teacher, but Angel did not trust the girl to not cause irreparable harm to Xander's ego.

"Anyway," Xander said loudly as he changed the topic, "Cordelia walked in during the slow dance, and she had the whole arch-villainess eyebrow of death going."

"That is one broad who would make me think twice before taking her on," Faith agreed as she started in on piece of chicken number three. Humans were expensive to feed.

"Is Cordelia angry? And who kidnapped them?" Angel demanded.

"Yes Cordelia is angry," Xander snorted. "Only it's not so much angry as furious and spiteful. And I didn't do anything but dance... but that is not going to matter so much as her making me publicly pay. And some weird guys on some slayerfest quest kidnapped them."

"They were after me," Faith offered. "It makes a girl feel special to know that men with automatic weapons are out there gunning for her. I'm just sorry that the idiots picked up Miss Priss instead. I would have given them a good tumble."

"But Buffy killed them?" Angel still didn't understand what had happened.

"Seems like. There was much drywall damage and spilling of blood, so I think that's a yes on the killing," Xander finished as he picked the last bits of meat off the chicken. "But I'm a little more concerned about the fact that Buffy and Cordelia both lost prom queen. If Buffy lost, I just would have avoided the library. If Cordelia lost, I would have claimed that I needed to do some extra credit project to keep you from going all parental, and I would have totally laired up in the library. Now, there is nowhere in that school that is safe," Xander said sadly.

"They're upset," Angel guessed.

"Upset? They're way past upset. They're nearly homicidal in their upsetness," Xander said sadly.

"They'll deal," Faith said without much sympathy. "I'm a little more interested in who set up a slayerfest. Most demons don't have balls that big, present company excluded," she finished with a wink in Angel's direction.

"Perhaps it's the same person who is contributing to the out of control minion problems in town," Angel mused.

"We killed the Master. Okay, Buffy killed the Master, and we were kill adjacent, but the Master is dead, so who are we talking about?" Xander asked.

"The Master is dead, long live the Master," Faith said with a grimace. "New big bad in town, maybe?"

Xander frowned. "The Master's been gone for over a year, why now? And I'm stupid because I know the answer to that. It's because Spike's gone, isn't it?" Xander looked over with so much distress, that Angel abandoned his post at the door and walked over to rest a hand on his shoulder.

"Whoever is doing this, they're going to be as dead as the Master," Angel promised.

Faith's snort made it clear what she thought of that. "Yeah? How are we going to find the big bad? Hey, maybe we should put out an ad in the paper. Would the real demon terrorizing Sunnydale please step forward?"

"Faith, enough," Angel said firmly.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm heading to bed. Anyone want to join me?" She stood and twitched her body.

"I think I've had enough of scary ladies tonight," Xander said with a shrug.

"Awww. I'll steer you 'round the curves," she said as she have him a coy look. Angel could smell the growing lust from Xander. Well, he himself had chased pretty much any girl in a skirt shabby enough to suggest she would take his coin in return for spreading her legs. At least Xander was lusting after women who did not take coin. Looking at Faith again, he could only hope they had never taken coin.

"And the rule is no sex in the apartment," Angel growled peevishly.

"You're welcome to supervise," Faith offered him as she stalked closer, her smile now focused on him, but at least she was leaving Xander alone. "Maybe even some hands on supervision. But if you two are busy, I can find someone on the street who's willing to give me a good, hard fuck."

"Faith," Angel said slowly. "I'm trying hard to pretend that you don't know what sex is. And if I catch one sniff of sex on you, I'll lock you in your room for a month and potentially eviscerate whatever guy you slept with."

Faith laughed. The girl truly did seem to find his threats amusing. "Five by five with me as long as you're locked in there with me," she offered, her hand sliding down over his arm. When Angel glanced down out of shock, he could see Xander's smug amusement. The little chancer was far too amused at Angel's discomfort.

Angel crossed his arms over his chest and did his best to look stern, and again she laughed. "I need more soda, pick me up some, kay?"

"When you've eaten the cauliflower I got you, I will," Angel said firmly.

"When I what?" Faith asked, her eyebrows drawing down as she finally dropped her lascivious affect.

"When you eat your cauliflower. You said that you would prefer cauliflower over other vegetables." Now Xander went from a small smug smile to a huge smirk as he looked from Angel to Faith and back again.

"Seriously?" Faith asked, and for one second she actually looked fifteen.

"Seriously," Angel insisted. "So, since you haven't eaten any of it yet, you have a lot of eating to do tonight and tomorrow if you expect me to get more soda."

"Fucking mother hen," Faith cursed as she headed for the door, and that momentary glimpse of a young Faith vanished under the slayer with the attitude of a pissed off gangster and a vocabulary that put a foot soldier to shame.

"And I will know if you throw it away," Angel added. Faith flipped him off before slamming his door shut behind her. He listened to her go into her apartment. Really, they were all in Xander's name, and Angel again considered putting the one in Faith's name instead. The first week here, she had not even offered a consistent answer regarding her last name, but she seemed to be settling down now. Cacophonous music suddenly blasted, and Angel flinched back from the sound, smiling only when he heard the refrigerator open and the crunch of her biting into the raw cauliflower.

"Can I just say woo-hoo that you have the apartment next to her and not me?" Xander said as he looked at the kitchen wall. It was vibrating slightly from the bass. "She scares me sometimes."

"She scares me often," Angel said as he headed for his kitchen. Pushing aside a bottle of pickles, ketchup, mustard, a brick of cream cheese and a plastic tub of Cool Whip, Angel grabbed his blood, which always seemed to get pushed to the back no matter how many times he growled at the humans. Xander dumped his chicken bones on the plate of leftovers Faith had decimated and scraped them into the trash while Angel was microwaving his blood, carefully watching as it turned. It still seemed odd to put food into a box and have it heat by itself, but he was not foolish enough to ask for that explanation again. Willow's attempts to describe energy were even less helpful than Xander's. But really, it was no more strange than the music coming out of the box in Faith's room... at decibels that would damage the human ear.

Angel walked over to the phone and dialed Faith's number. It rang, but Faith didn't even bother to pick it up, she just turned the music down to where it was only potentially damaging to human hearing.

"How upset was Cordelia?" Angel asked now that it was just the two of them.

"She probably wouldn't have done more than call me some name I didn't know without looking up, but then Faith made a crude comment about how parts of me were into Willow, and now Willow and Cordelia are both with the cranky," Xander shrugged.

Angel sighed and reconsidered the idea of putting the apartment in Faith's name. Perhaps Blair would be a better guardian. Angel could financially support them both. "I'm sorry," Angel offered, knowing that the words were as worthless as ever. He had brought Faith into their lives, so every time she did something to harm Xander, he could feel the worry gnaw at him. He wanted to do the right thing, but he so rarely understood what the right thing was anymore. Jessica Harris had grown much more attentive of Xander since he was home far less often. Perhaps Angel should make it clear that Xander could move back home, and Angel would not renege on his deal. To be honest, he was selfish enough to not want Xander to leave, even if it would be better for him.

"Hey, no reason for you to be sorry," Xander said as he headed out to the couch and clicked on the television. It was so late that some stations had gone to static, and the others had reruns of shows so old they were in black and white. "I mean, I know I don't like Willow, so I meant it when I said that a stick poke could make me get hard. Sometimes I think I don't have any control at all. I mean, the other day, when you rested your hand on my shoulder, I got hard. I have a stupid cock."

"At this age, it's supposed to be stupid," Angel agreed. He took his blood out and headed for the living room.

"Was yours?" Xander asked.

"I got hard for any woman who looked poor enough for me to afford," he admitted as he sat next to Xander on the sofa.

"Okay, that's pretty high on the patheticness scale."

"I think we've had this discussion before," Angel pointed out.

"Probably," Xander shrugged. For a few seconds he focused on flipping idly through the channels. "I like Willow, but I don't like Willow, not the way Oz likes Willow or the way I like Cordelia."

"I know." Angel focused on the television and waited as Xander struggled to sort his thoughts.

"It's just that sometimes I forget she's Willow and she feels like a girl. Not that she's not a girl, because curves there. Willow as a boy would be hugely with the weird. But she's not a *girl*."

"You're just libidinous," Angel guessed. Xander turned a confused look his way. "Horny," Angel edited himself.

"Oh, yeah," Xander agreed enthusiastically. "Only Willow is supposed to be the one with more sense than me, so she's supposed to be the brakes here. Only, she's not so brake-like. She was putting hands places that Willow hands should not go, which is where the stick-poking metaphor comes in. Should someone stoking the inside of my elbow or the small of my back really be so..." Xander trailed off into silence.

"Erotic?" Angel guessed. Xander nodded unhappily. "Everyone has erogenous zones, Xander, that's normal."

"And I'm just a mindless puddle of libnous goo when someone touches one of mine."

It took Angel a second to realize that Xander meant libidinous. He fought back a smile as he tried to figure out the socially correct answer. "Do you want to go hunt something?" he finally asked.

Xander gave him an odd look. "I'm exhausted. I think I'm going to head to bed and think stern thoughts about how my body should not be vetoing reasonable decisions made by my brain," he said as he clicked the television off and got up.

"Xander," Angel said as the boy got up.

"Yeah?"

"You'll survive high school," he said firmly. "The social trauma is a rite of passage, and emotional wounds heal."

Xander looked at him really oddly. "Um, good? I think. Angel, seriously, check the expiration date on your blood supply," he said as he headed for the door. "Good night."

"Good night, Xander," Angel answered right before his door closed. Sipping his blood, he listened as Xander got ready for bed, his shower running for a long time as he masturbated. Faith was kicking her wall in time with her music and crunching on cauliflower. Blair was right: the care and feeding of humans was never simple.

A Little Brutal Honesty with Tea

"Oh, this is intolerable," Giles snapped as he slammed his book shut. "There's not a word here about Lagos or the glove." He stood up. "We don't have time for this... near missing." The book dropped heavily onto the table and Xander exchanged a quick worried glance with Willow about a millisecond before he remembered he was not supposed to be exchanging glances with Willow. Faith was so supposed to be playing chaperone, or Cordelia, and they were both on the MIA list. Or Cordelia was MIA and Faith had gotten sent out to demonstrate more moves for her new watcher. Xander was not on this new watcher's fan list. Nope. Not at all. Giles turned and pinned both him and Willow with a glare. Okay, so Xander wasn't on the old watcher's fan list either. "Just find out all you can about the demon, its strengths, its-its weaknesses." Giles snapped. He was riding the potential heart attack train of stress, that's for sure. He started pacing. "Its places of origin, and most importantly, what it plans to do with this blasted glove." Giles poked his glasses in Xander's direction.

"Hey, you're not the watcher of me," he tried joking.

Giles scowled at him. "Then go home. But if you choose to stay, then work." Giles turned and headed for his office, and Xander was temporarily frozen in shock. Willow made a little concerned noise, and Xander took a step away from her toward the stacks. Only why should he read more worthless books? His suggestion was to call Angel, but no, that was just a stupid idea. All his ideas were stupid ideas. Only they weren't. He got Angel to go with him into the Master's lair. He's the one who took escort duty with the cheerleaders. They hadn't lost a cheerleader in over a year, and normally those girls were prime vampire pickings. And even Giles' comments about Spike were obviously more stupid than anything Xander ever said. Without Spike, the vampires were getting way more with the pushy.

"Xander, where are you going?" Willow asked as Xander reversed direction and headed to the phone.

"To call a qualified surgeon to remove the British flag from Giles' ass," Xander answered sarcastically. Willow gasped as Xander picked up the phone.

"We're all tired, it's late. Maybe we should just all stop and go home for the night. My eyes are all blurry," she said placatingly, only Xander was not with the wanting to be placated. He punched the numbers on the phone a little harder than he should and just hoped that Angel actually picked the phone up. Sometimes it was like the big lug just got tired of the twentieth century and decided to ignore anything that rang, buzzed, vibrated or lit up... well except his car. Angel was in love with that car.

"Hello?" Angel finally answered after seven rings.

"Lagos and the Glove of Ming-thingy," Xander blurted.

"What?" Angel asked, sounding both alarmed and confused.

"Who are you calling?" Giles demanded as he came out of his office, his precious tea in hand.

"Angel—who we should have been calling from the first," Xander said, bracing himself for the explosion.

"Angel? The *vampire* Angel? I thought we had an agreement that if you were to come into my library, you would not compromise our work by running to that demon with information." Giles slammed his tea down on the table hard enough to make it slop over the side.

"What information?" Xander demanded. "We have a big nada, zero, zip and zitch on the information front."

"We have a picture of Lagos," Willow offered as she chewed her bottom lip.

"He doesn't have the glove yet," Xander pointed out. "Now a picture of the crypt with the glove in it might be information, but a picture of Lagos is non-information or at least in the non-helpful column of information."

"And you think telling a *vampire* where to find an all powerful weapon is a better idea than doing a little work for yourself?" Giles asked in a tone that made Xander want to slink away. "American teenagers have the work ethics of..."

"STOP!" Willow yelled, and then she nearly shrank in on herself when they both looked at her. "We're supposed to be helping each other... and helping Buffy."

"And Faith," Xander added.

"And Faith," Willow agreed with a nod and a slight blush. Right now, Xander thought Faith was way more with the needing help considering that Mrs. Gwendolyn Post seemed a little on the seriously anal retentive side. Just as soon as Faith lost her cool and told the woman about Angel and Clem and the concept of good demons, he figured she would either stroke out or call the Council and try to whisk Faith away for a bit of brainwashing, not that Angel was going to be letting that happen.

"The best way to help the slayers is not to bring a homicidal demon into our midst," Giles said slowly and carefully, obviously choosing his words to avoid the profanity that probably wanted to come out. Seriously, though, that façade of librarian didn't work quite so well after Xander had seen Giles stoned on band candy. Between the smoking and the cursing and the sex and the demon summoning, Giles had the moral purity of tar. And then he sobered up and didn't even admit to Buffy that he'd been boffing her mom. Angel and his nose was the only reason Xander knew.

Xander spoke slowly himself and tried to actually choose words instead of letting them just fall out of his mouth. "Angel is the one who helped Faith when you left her in a hotel with not even enough money for food or rent, so I'm thinking he's proved his usefulness. But now some people... some people are not that much with the useful," Xander said cruelly. Okay, it was a low blow, especially with Post poking at Giles' ego, but he was finished and finito with the blame game they always seemed to play.

"I-I-well really, she only had to ask," Giles said, and off came the glasses. Yep, that scored a direct hit. Time to sink Giles' battleship.

"Yeah, because she is all with the mentally healthy and able to articulate her needs," Xander said, loading the words with sarcasm. "And fifteen is definitely old enough to be alone, in a neighborhood filled with drug dealers and demons and hookers. Hey, there's an idea. Maybe you expected her to hook for her money."

"Xander Harris, you stop being mean!" Willow said, crossing her arms and giving him a stern look.

"Xander's being mean?" Cordelia asked as she walked in, the library doors clacking shut behind her. "Where's Faith?" she asked suspiciously. Yep, Xander was still on the short leash of love.

"She's with her watcher," Giles said archly. "And Xander was just leaving."

"Really? It sounded like he was just ripping into you," she offered with a sweet smile... the kind a praying mantis used right before eating her mate... only that was a really bad metaphor because Xander was the mate... or the hopefully one-day-soon mate. Xander shook his head as he tried to clear that image.

"Perhaps you should escort him home," Giles said, his voice tight with disapproval.

"I thought I'd listen in on him handing out the cold, hard truth."

"Cordelia, you're not helping," Willow hissed.

"I wasn't trying to," she said with a shrug.

Giles took a step forward toward Xander, and Cordelia linked her arm with his. Okay, Xander could admit that he was seconds away from folding and running away—like usual when Willow or Buffy backed up Giles—but now he faced both of them.

"Xander," Willow said in a scandalized voice.

"Oh please, enough with the trying to turn Xander into your little lapdog," Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"Me? Me? I'm not the one who's ordering him around and don't think I don't know that you told Faith to keep me away from him."

"Faith was to keep you from Xander?" Giles asked in confusion. Of course he'd left before the dance drama.

"It's a long story," Willow said softly, her hands picking at the edge of her shirt nervously.

"Miss Do-Good tried to get in Xander's pants," Cordelia summarized it. Xander flinched, but no one tried to contradict her version.

"Oh," Giles said in confusion as he looked from one of them to the other.

"I asked Faith to keep you away from his penis," Cordelia finished. Xander and Willow both blushed dark red at that.

"I hardly think this is the appropriate time for this adolescent drama," Giles said as he turned to go back in his office.

Xander pulled his arm away from Cordelia and stepped toward Giles. "Newsflash. We are adolescents. Willow is exhausted, I'm frustrated because you won't even listen to me, and Buffy is a kid, but you don't want to see any of that."

"If you're frustrated, feel free to leave," Giles said with a smile sweet enough to match Cordelia. Every once in a while that nasty side of Giles slipped out.

"Like you did?" Xander asked. He had his own nasty side if that's how Giles wanted to play. "Don't forget, I met the young you. You were good at walking away from responsibility. I bet your dad didn't listen to any of your ideas, so you just walked away and hung out with Ethan and summoned demons and smoked and slept with slayer's mothers. Oh, I'm sorry, that last part came later, didn't it?" Xander crossed his arms over his chest and watched as Giles turned paler.

"He slept with Joyce?" Cordelia asked with more than a little amusement. "You have good gossip like that and you don't tell me?"

"He couldn't have," Willow whispered in horror.

"You don't know anything," Giles said as he stepped forward.

"I know that you're the adult and you're a pretty shitty one. Why don't you care about Willow getting enough time to do her homework?"

Giles drew himself up to his full height. "She can leave whenever she wants, as can you."

"The way Faith could ask you for money for food?" Xander noticed that Giles turned just a wee bit paler at that. Yeah, Giles knew he'd been a complete an utter asshole to Faith.

"He has a point there," Cordelia offered. "Seriously, my parents are models of neglect or I would never be out this late, but they are still the Cleavers compared to you."

"I am not your parent. I did not father any of you."

Xander glanced over and he could see the tears gathering in the corners of Willow's eyes. He looked back, and Giles was watching her. The sneer on his face had softened into confusion.

"We should go," Willow said softly.

"Willow, I-I don't mean that I don't enjoy your company," Giles stammered. "I quite enjoy our magic lessons, and you are coming along splendidly. Jenny speaks very highly of your talent."

"Way to go, Giles," Cordelia said as she reached over and picked up the phone. "So, who are we giving the performance for?"

Xander froze as he realized who had just heard that. "Oh shit... Angel." Cordelia raised an eyebrow in amusement as Xander grabbed the phone and practically yelled into the mouthpiece. "Angel? Angel?!"

"Give it up. If he heard any part of that, he's on his way here," Cordelia said as she reached out for his arm again. Xander looked around the room, and suddenly he realized how much damage he'd done. Willow was near to crying, Giles was pale and looking more angry than ever, and Cordelia had that satisfied expression that always worried him. And the truce between Cordelia and Buffy was new enough that the whole Joyce bombshell really should not have been put in her hands. It was like giving Iran a big old nuclear weapon and saying, 'now you be nice and don't use that.' Yep, he was stupid. He was huge old piles of stupid.

"Giles," Xander said uncertainly.

"Perhaps I am not perfect, but that does not make your decisions any less questionable," Giles said stiffly. He continued to stand at the end of the table, and Willow slid back, her fingers picking at the neck of her blue blouse.

"It looks like someone dropped emotional napalm on you two. Seriously, consider looking at reality every once in a while," Cordelia said without much sympathy. It was funny, alone Cordy had all kinds of sympathy for people, but in front of the others, she really was at her bitchy best. Only right now, Xander seriously wished she would show just a little bit of that softer underside.

"Willow, hey, you know me... engage mouth before brain," Xander tried.

"I know," she said softly, still edging toward the exit.

"You people are pathetic if a little truth is this damaging on your egos," Cordelia sniffed, and then she was pulling Xander away. Xander followed for two steps before he stopped and pulled his arm free. Cordelia considered him with raised eyebrows.

"Giles, I meant what I said about you not thinking about us, but I said it because I was angry, and that was... okay that was shitty of me," Xander blurted before he could change his mind. "I guess I just get angry that you always seem to come down hard on me and the whole Angel thing is driving me way past the point of common sense. If he were evil, he's had plenty of time to make with the evil plan and conquer the world, not that I think he would. He has trouble keeping up with me and Faith, so I don't see him playing conqueror and trying to rule the world. But my point is that either he's not evil or he's really, really pathetic and incompetent evil. And incompetent is not the first word I think when I think of Angel. Unless you're talking electronics. If you think 'electronics' and then 'Angel', then incompetent is going to pop up pretty quick."

Giles just stared at Xander, and he could decide if he was digging out of a hole or just digging himself in deeper. It wasn't easy figuring out how to deal with pissy English people.

"Um, I should go. People to see, homework to stare at blankly," Xander said with a crooked smile. This time, he let Cordelia pull him out of the room. They walked silently down the abandoned hallways where he'd walked Ampata to her classes while Buffy made unsubtle kissing noises behind his back. This was where he rolled his eyes at Willow and Buffy when they'd all gotten volunteered to escort kids on Halloween. This was where he'd asked Amy out on a date and then been shocked when she said yes. Buffy and Willow had promptly accused him of having low self-esteem, which... no duh. So, why did he keep going out of his way to inflict emotional damage on the people he really and truly did love? Yeah, poking Giles felt good at the time, but hurting Giles meant hurting Willow and Buffy. And he couldn't forget Willow's tragic eyes. She was big with the hurty.

"I'm officially slime," Xander said softly to Cordelia.

"No you're not. Slime is disgusting, and I don't date disgusting; ergo, you are not slime," she said confidently.

"Um, present company disproves that theory."

They walked out into the night, and Xander sat on the steps. Angel was probably going to show up sooner rather than later, so no need to freak the gelled one out by taking off. Nope, he'd sit here like a good little backstabber so that Angel could find him and then look at him strangely as he tried to figure out what was going on. Xander had even tried making Angel watch Passions so he would understand the psychological damage that was friendship, but he was pretty sure he'd just confused Angel even more.

Cordelia sat next to him. "They already knew, deep down."

"And I went and pulled it all up to the surface. Yep, that's me, dredging up the ugly for fun and kicks."

"You are good at it," Cordelia offered, and Xander turned to look at her incredulously. Okay, he knew why he was dating Cordelia because... hello... Cordelia, but sometimes he didn't know why he dated her. She had a habit of complimenting him on the very things he was trying to stop doing, like poking Giles with the verbal stick. Which, true, Giles deserved the poke, but Willow didn't, and now Willow and Buffy were going to get the poke fallout. Yep, it was about to be the nuclear winter of poke, and it was all his fault. That—and Faith's new watcher—were the makings of a truly horrific senior year. Maybe he could join Faith in the land of dropouts. Her GED book didn't look too hard. If he studied, he could pass it.

"Are you going to be depressed all night?" Cordelia asked with a disgusted sigh.

"Yes."

Cordelia sighed again, but this time it was a softer sound. Reaching over, she rested her hand on his arm, her fingers curling into the inside of his elbow, and parts of his body not above his shoulders started doing his thinking for him. "What exactly did you say to them? You pointed out that Giles is oblivious to everything not slaying, right?"

Xander nodded, but only part of his attention was on her words, the other part was on the heat of her hand soaking through his skin, and the way her knee brushed against his. He glanced over and watched her mouth form words, the lips drawing together.

"And you pointed out that Giles acts like a jerk around you?"

"Um, yeah," Xander agreed.

"Truth and truth. And if Willow goes and gets all weepy over Giles pointing out that he did not father her, then she has more problems than I thought. She should get herself a good therapist. Maybe two." Cordelia shrugged and looked out at the parking lot. Her convertible and Giles' sad little car were the only ones in the lot. "And if you keep playing martyr, I'm going to have daddy get you therapy," she warned. But her hand patted him, and Xander took the threat as a sign of love.

They sat in silence for long minutes, cars sailed past and one pedestrian strolled down the side of the road.

"Vampire," Xander guessed.

"Probably," Cordy agreed without moving. These days there were so many vamps, and the vamps were so pathetically weak and out of control that he figured there couldn't be a master vampire anywhere around. Spike had always said that a master is judged by the quality of his minions, and these minions were not exactly Grade A, Prime Choice. Nope, whoever was trying to play conqueror of the hellmouth this time around wasn't Angel and wasn't any vamp who followed Spike-logic.

"I shouldn't have suggested that Giles turned Faith out to be a hooker," Xander said as he got a look of disgust on his face.

"You said that?" Cordelia asked, sounding more surprised than actually disgusted. She should be disgusted. He was a horrible person.

"I said that he abandoned Faith and that he probably just expected her to sleep with men for money," Xander admitted. His stomach was starting to tighten into one giant knot.

"Well, it's true. Again, truth is an absolute defense against slander... or would that be liable?" she mused as she shifted on the stairs.

"It would be mean," Xander answered.

"True enough, but hey, if they can't take the truth, that's their problem."

"Xander," Willow said softly, and Xander leaned all the way back on the steps and tilted his head back to see upside Willow standing on the steps above him. He flipped over so she was right side up and scrambled to his feet.

"What are you... I mean.... Hey," Xander finished lamely. Cordelia got up with way more grace than he had and managed to roll her eyes at the same time.

"Giles is giving me a ride home," Willow said as she pulled her bookbag to her chest. She looked absolutely lost, but Cordelia still shifted in front of Xander, so he was guessing that Cordy wasn't willing to withdraw the claws yet. He was just lucky that the Harmony and the others described the dance as Willow getting grabby and him getting big with the awkward and uncomfortable. He so did not want to think how shitty his life would be if those claws of Cordelia's were in him.

"Yes, I had rather hoped to catch you before you left," Giles said as he turned around after locking the front doors of the school.

"Really? Um, should I be running now?" Xander asked with a weak grin.

Giles just looked at him for a second, and then shook his head sadly. "Clearly we disagree regarding Angel, and I have my own reasons for believing him to be a danger to the community. I don't feel a need to share those reasons because, as you say, you are not the adults here."

If this was Giles' way of making up, Xander was not feeling it. He reached up and rested his hand on Cordy's waist, needing that support. Giles sighed again.

"But as you say, I have been rather harsh on you in hopes of encouraging you to do better. A number of people have suggested that I might have gone too far," he said with a grimace. "While I might not trust everyone's judgment, Ms. Calendar has a good insight on people, and she has suggested that I am more difficult with you than with other people. I had thought her an alarmist, but she may be correct."

Xander just stared, not quite sure how to take this. It might be an apology, but it might not be. And how weird was it that Giles' girlfriend was sticking up for him? Since she was Willow's techno-mage, wicca mentor person, he kinda figured she'd be on Willow's side. And the awkward silence just went on.

"I had hoped we could discuss this like adults," Giles said, disapproval leeching into his voice again. Willow hugged her bookbag tighter and Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest.

Angel saved them all from awkwardness when he squealed into the parking lot with his big old car. Xander flinched as the vamp took one of the student lot speed bumps hard enough to send the front wheels airborne. Angel hit the brakes and slowed down quite a bit before he pulled up in front of the school. When Giles reached out and pulled Willow close to his side, Xander knew that things hadn't really changed. Giles was still with the lack of trust and he was still with the much frustration.

"Xander, Cordelia, Willow," Angel said as he got out, slamming the car door behind him. "Rupert," he added after a pause.

"Hey, Angel," Willow offered from behind Giles where she'd been pushed.

"Xander, I assume you meant the Glove of Myhnegon when you called with that alarming message."

Giles took a step forward. "Yes, well, as this truly is none of your concern, you need not worry about which glove Xander meant," he said firmly at the exact same time that Xander offered a "Yep." Giles gave Xander a dirty look.

"Oh nice," Cordelia said with disgust. "You almost apologize for treating Xander like dirt and then you turn around and treat him like dirt again. And people call me thoughtless."

Giles cleared his through and got a constipated expression on his face. "I have never wavered in my belief that Angel is not the... person... to entrust with such information."

"I've always been on the side of the slayers," Angel said, and Xander could hear the frustration there. Yep, Angel and Giles were not going to sit down and sing Kum Ba Yah together any time soon... or any time far, either, for that matter.

"But people can change," Giles said with a strange tone in his voice. Xander looked from Giles to Angel in confusion, but Angel looked as confused as him, and Giles had on his 'not sharing' face.

"Yes, they can," Angel finally answered when the awkward silence had gotten more with the awkward. Walking up a few steps, he stood beside Xander and Cordelia. "Mrs. Post certainly has."

"What?" That caught Giles so off guard that he actually forgot to looked pissed about Angel being there.

"How could you entrust Faith to someone you had not even checked out? Weren't you suspicious at all? Or are you truly so convinced of the infallibility of your precious watchers that you would sacrifice Faith to your idiocy?" And Angel was definitely sounding cranky.

"I... there is no reason to suspect she is anything other than what she seems to be."

Angel stiffened and for one second, Xander thought Giles was about to get a demonstration of how vampires dealt with frustration, but then Angel gave a slow smile. "Other than the fact that she is actually a man? Other than the fact that she has no paperwork or proof? Other than the fact that Mrs. Gwendolyn Post was kicked out of your watchers' club for doing black magic? No, no reason for suspicion. She must have done a lot of black magic because the Council seems fine with their watchers dabbling in the dark arts," Angel said in a bitterly insulting tone. Normally Angel saved lectures that long for things like eating vegetables... a topic he was slightly obsessive about, but Giles had definitely found a new hot-button for Angel-obsessing.

Willow gasped. "Black magic? Jenny says that black magic corrupts your aura."

"Rather," Giles agreed. "However, at this point we only have the word of a vampire."

"Then call England and find out for yourself. And the next time someone tries to convince Faith that her only worth is in how well she kills, they may get more than a broken arm."

Xander's eyes went wide. Okay, that was unexpected. Angel broke someone's arm? Xander looked around, and everyone looked shocked except Giles.

Giles' expression just sort of closed down. "Did she survive?" he asked blandly.

"Yes," Angel said, his mouth now a tight line. "But if she's after what I think she is, she won't live for long if she gets in Lagos' way or if she gets anywhere near the Glove of Myhnegon. She's a practitioner of black magic, and they very rarely want anything other than power, money, or the ability to conquer the world."

"Then we shall find where the glove has been secreted," Giles said firmly. "Willow, perhaps we can put in another hour of research."

"The Von Hauptman family crypt at the Restfield Cemetery," Angel said calmly. "I could have told you that hours ago."

"Oh," Giles said as he took his glasses off and began polishing. "I shall call Buffy and..."

"It's not there now."

"Did Lagos..."

"I've moved it. If you find a way to destroy it, I'll bring it here for the ceremony. If not, I will hide it somewhere else."

"You will..." Giles sputtered to a stop. "Do you truly think I would allow you to have such a powerful weapon? What will happen if that soul of yours should happen naff off?!"

"If his soul does what?" Cordelia asked.

"You know. You know about the happiness clause which is why you're always big on the Angel-hating," Xander accused Giles. "And way to not show the supportiveness. You knew there was a way for Angel to go all soul-free, and you still let me live next door to him. Thanks, Giles. I'm feeling the love now!"

"I had... I never... I did tell you to not get so blasted close to the monster," Giles snapped.

Cordelia jumped right into the fight. "Right, because telling someone that without giving a reason is very helpful. Angel, I respect both you and the calming effect your presence has had on Xander's taste in clothes..." Xander glanced down at his blue striped shirt and frowned at that comment. "... however, if you're about to turn into a murdering, raping, spawn of hell, could you give me some advance warning?"

"I'm not going to lose my soul," Angel said, and Xander noticed that Cordelia didn't try to move away, not even an inch. Willow, on the other hand, looked like she was ready to press herself right into the side of the building. Her wide eyes watched Angel with horror and she held her book bag so high that her hair brushed the top.

"Really? As I understand it, the gypsies who cursed you included a clause for ending that curse." Giles looked way too smug about that little fact.

"Which, may I say, is definitely hugely stupid. I mean, you want him to have a conscience, so you curse him, but you put on a clause that will turn the badass version loose on some other group of unsuspecting people? I question the morality and/or intelligence of these particular gypsies," Xander pointed out.

"It's a moot point anyway," Angel sighed. "The condition for my soul to be lost is perfect happiness. I assure you that I often feel frustrated, aggravated, annoyed and occasionally borderline homicidal, but I do not feel perfectly happy," Angel pointed out.

"Oh, and when the day comes that you claim your consort, won't that be a perfect moment?" Giles demanded. Xander narrowed his eyes at the look Giles shot him. Okay, something was weird in the state of Sunnydale. He made a mental note to look up consort.

"First, I have no plans for Xander," Angel said and now he stepped forward so he was in front of Cordy and Xander. "Second, even if I did, I would still have to worry about an amadán like you damaging him. And if I were to convince him to leave you and this town behind, I have vampires I have made out there... I have the memories of my own bad choices. There is no perfect happiness for me."

"So you claim," Giles insisted.

"So I claim," Angel said in that sweet voice with just a hint of Irish in it, the one that Xander didn't trust. "And since I have the Glove of Myhnegon, you'll just have ta keep on trusting me, won't you? Oh, and keep that Post woman and her idiotic ideas away from Faith or she'll be getting more than a broken arm," he said as he turned his back on Giles. If Xander thought Giles had been pale before, he was practically a ghost now. When Angel turned, Xander could see the yellow eyes shining at him. "Xander, you need ta be goin' down and getting two of those cell phones contraptions. I'll not be stuck trying to decide whether to listen for you or get the job done... not again. Understand?"

"Oh yeah, got it," Xander quickly agreed. No way was he going to argue with Irish-voice, cranky Angel, and he wasn't exactly upset at the idea of cool new tech stuff anyway.

"I'll help him pick out colors that don't clash," Cordelia offered. Angel looked at her for a second, a frown flashing across his face before the yellow vanished and his face was again that sort of expressionless neutral Angel had on most of the time.

"Xander do you want a ride or are you staying with Cordelia?" Angel asked, his voice absolutely flat.

"I was going to see if Cordy wanted to go out for a soda."

Angel nodded and went back to his car, getting in without a backwards glance and taking off out of the parking lot way too fast. They all held their breath, the silence heavy between them even as Willow eased away from the wall.

Eventually Giles sighed. "Xander, you must see why I worry about him being involved in our business."

"You mean because he has a temper?" Xander asked. "Nope. Everyone in this group has a temper, and lots of us have a past full of stupids. I tried to rape Buffy, Willow tried to become queen to a cyber demon, Buffy turned vamp in that weird dream world, and you summoned demons. I'm not cutting Angel off for his lack of perfectness."

"Of course, I never did anything like that," Cordelia sniffed as she started down the stairs.

"You don't have to go evil to be scary," Xander pointed out as he quickly followed, leaving Giles and Willow behind.

"True," she said, and she flashed a brilliant smile over her shoulder at him. Oh yeah, Xander still had a shot at second base if that smile were any indication. He hurried ahead of her and opened her car door for her. Her fingers trailed over his cheek before she got in, and he rushed to the other side. Willow and Giles were still on the steps, and Xander offered them a little wave before he got in. Second base, here he came.

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