Parts 7, 8, 9, and 10 of Kin of the Heart
Rated SAFE

Quiet Waters Mirroring Undistorted

“Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.” 

Angel stayed in the shadow of the library and watched the group. Xander and Cordelia were sitting close, her foot braced on the rung of his chair. While it looked casual enough, Angel didn't miss the way she kept Willow in her sights as she filed her nails. Angel hadn't expected Willow to ever approve of Xander's choice, but hopefully her shy smiles toward Oz meant she'd be distracted soon. Buffy was laughing and hanging on Devon, so he guessed those two were back together. Buffy tended to date, discard, and then recycle the boys she dated, but there were a limited number of boys who knew about the darker side of Sunnydale, so he supposed that restricted her choices.

Xander was flipping pages in an old text, and even from here, Angel could see that Giles had given him the Caecus Tome. The book did have some interesting illustrations, a few of which Angel was fairly sure Xander wasn't old enough to be viewing. However, other than the demonic porn, the Caecus was fairly useless. While it vexed Angel that Giles would reduce Xander to busywork, he did have to admit that Xander's attention span was rather limited when it came to research. They were probably all safer for having Xander exploring an unrelated, if inappropriate, text.

Willow, meanwhile, was engrossed in the Malum Maligo and even Oz showed a fair amount of interest in his own text. Angel only hoped that Oz would give Willow the attention and stability she obviously needed. The part of him that was Angelus could almost smell how easily she would break with all her fears and insecurities clinging to her soft skin. And Buffy... smiling and shoving at Devon with her knee... she looked so young. He hoped that Devon remembered to treat her right or Angel was going to have a little visit with the young man. Being a slayer, Buffy had sorrows enough in her life without a man creating more problems for her.

Giles came out of his office with a sigh. "Any luck?"

"No starfish eyes, although I have lots of tusks. They aren't all in the mouth, but I have lots of tusks," Xander said as he tilted his head to examine a drawing. Angel made a mental note to tell Xander those weren't tusks just as soon as Xander was old enough... like when he was a hundred and fifty.

Slowly, Angel moved forward out of the shadows. "I don't suppose you're having better luck?" Giles asked Willow.

Angel could see her shrink in the face of her own failure to find the answer. "I'm sorry, but it's a big negative on hospital wandering, semi-invisible, starfish eyed guys."

Buffy plopped down on the arm of Devon's chair. "If I'd been sick enough to stay more than a few hours, I would have found him, and then he would have been an ex-hospital wandering semi-invisible demon. And what kind of demon wanders hospitals? That just doesn't seem very sporting."

Giles froze for a moment as he spotted Angel. "Yes, well, I hardly think being sporting is a demon's first priority.... Angel," Giles greeted him with a tilt of his head.

"Angel! Hey, have you ever heard of some trenchcoat demon with lots of tusks in his lower jaw and starfish on giant stalks sticking out of his head because I am so ready to be done with research," Xander blurted.

"And I have a sale that's going to end without me getting new shoes if we don't find something soon," Cordelia huffed. Angel knew full well that she was more likely to ferry the cheerleaders home in her car or sit and complain at Xander while he whittled stakes, but he allowed her to put on her vacuous front for the others. Willow and Buffy were certainly falling for it as they exchanged disparaging looks.

"Cordelia without new shoes? Tragedy," Buffy snarked.

"Tragedy is that haircut," Cordelia answered with a sniff.

"What can I do for you, Angel?" Giles asked stiffly.

Angel hadn't seen the man since he'd verbally cornered him at the door of his own apartment, and he still wasn't sure if he should feel vindicated or guilty about the outcome of that meeting. However, Giles seemed to be acting better around Xander, so he would deal with his emotions on his own. "I heard from an informant that we have a problem," Angel said as he looked first at Giles and then Buffy.

"Please tell me you're talking about the kind of problem where there's too much rich and creamy, zero-calorie ice cream and you need someone to eat lots and lots," Buffy said with a frown, "because we're all full up on the other kind of problems."

"The museum has brought a demon capable of ending the world to Sunnydale," Angel said simply. Buffy got that resigned expression that made him ache for all the hardships in her life.

"World-ending?" Willow asked, her voice going squeaky.

"Why aren't there any nice homework-ending demons or maybe a flu-ending demon," Xander sighed dramatically.

Angel watched Giles open his mouth, but then the man seemed to physically twitch and swallow before he gathered his thoughts. "Which one?"

"Acathla."

"Oh dear." Giles sank into the nearest chair.

"Oh dear? No, no, no. Oh dears from Giles are not good," Buffy said with a frown.

"Very much not good. Hugely not good," Willow agreed.

"Does it occur to anyone else that this town would be a whole lot safer if they just shut the museum down? Mummies and curses and demons, oh my, which is oddly unfitty, but there are just not enough museum theme songs." Xander stopped when Cordelia gave him a look that reminded Angel eerily of Spike.

"I say shut the whole town down. The vampires are breeding like really, really horny bunnies out there," Buffy sighed. Angel could see Xander's jaw tighten, but the boy had the presence of mind to not say anything about Spike and Drusilla's absence aggravating the vampire situation. Intellectually, they all knew the truth, but the others had to emotionally accept it on their own timetables. He and Xander had discussed that late into the night on more than one occasion.

"I assume he is still trapped within the rock?" Giles asked.

"Yes," Angel agreed, kindly not pointing out that if he weren't, they would all be standing in hell right now.

"So, we just have to get rid of a big piece of rock?" Buffy asked. "I'm liking this demon more all the time. No hunting it down or researching, just a nice big sledgehammer and a couple of wheelbarrows, and we can call it a night. Only, can we be all nightish another night because we have something killing kids, and kids have a higher priority than sledgehammers and wheelbarrows."

Angel shook his head. "I doubt that will work. Acathla was a powerful demon who nearly swallowed the world."

"School cafeteria levels of indigestion," Xander shuddered. Both girls smiled at him and even Oz managed a grin. Giles didn't smile, but Angel noticed that he didn't deploy his normal harangue against the boy.

Cordelia sniffed and looked around the library with obvious disdain. "There's not even anything good around here to swallow. Why don't demons start with Paris or New York? They have things worth going after."

"If you ever turn into a demon, Cordy, I'll look for you in the nearest big city, attacking malls." Xander smiled.

"Jewelry stores, thank you very much," she corrected him with an arched look and a little hint of her own smile. "Designer jewelry stores."

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. "So, what's the 411 on this Acatheter? If I can't smash it, what am I supposed to do?"

"Hide it," Angel answered. Giles frowned at him for a second, but Angel kept on speaking. "The demon turned to stone by a knight who impaled him on a blessed sword and buried where neither man nor demon would look."

"Um, if it was buried where no demon or human would look, who found it?" Xander asked.

"A construction company putting up low-rent housing," Angel shrugged.

Buffy made a face. "Okay, that's not creepy, not at all. Buy in Sunnydale and you too can have a demon buried in your backyard."

Willow scrunched her nose up. "Not exactly a good selling point. Well, not unless you're evil. But actually, even if you were evil, I wouldn't think you would want other evil in your backyard sucking up all the cool evil vibes."

Devon was obviously bored with the whole conversation. He leaned back in his chair, popping his back. "If we can't smash the thing, let's just take it out and drop it in the ocean. Poof, no more world-eating demon. Does anyone else want to go for pizza? I have a serious case of the munchies." His hand slid between Buffy's thighs, and Angel could smell the panic rolling from Xander. While Xander may talk about wanting sex and ways to get Cordelia to let him sneak past second base, Angel suspected the boy wasn't ready yet. Either that or he really hated Devon being with Buffy... or he was back to his old game with being jealous of any boy Buffy liked. Some days, Angel couldn't even pretend to understand Xander.

"That may be the best solution," Giles agreed.

"Yeah, except for the part where not all demons have to breathe air," Xander said with a snort. Giles snatched his glasses off his face, and Angel could see him gathering his contempt around him like a cloak as he prepared to strike, and Angel braced himself to strike back twice as hard if Giles targeted Xander.

"Good point," Oz said before Giles could start, "Angel could still get to it." Oz looked up and frowned for a second. "If he were evil," he shrugged.

"Okay, first, Angel is not evil," Buffy immediately blurted. "Annoying and slightly with the stalkerish, but not evil. And second, if we can't just drop it in the ocean, and I can't smash it, what are we supposed to do?"

"Send it to another dimension?" Willow suggested uncertainly.

"While that has merit, attempting to send the demon across a portal threshold might wake it," Giles said.

"Which would be of the bad. So no smashing, portals, oceans, or slaying," Buffy summarized. "I really miss the days when slaying was all about the vampires and the poofing and the trying to get dust out of my hair."

"With that hair, I don't know why you'd bother," Cordelia said in her normally tactful voice. "Look, it's been safely buried for how long? Just find a new place to bury it, and I would suggest not on a hellmouth."

"Which would leave the problem of transportation," Giles pointed out.

"I know someone who could help with that," Angel quickly offered, and Giles gave him a strange look, one that made it clear that the watcher had even less trust in Angel now than he'd had before their confrontation.

"So, we should entrust a demon capable of ending the world to your capable hands?" he asked with more than a little sarcasm.

"Giles," Willow breathed, and Angel knew the horror in her voice was far more about her discomfort at conflict than out of any need to defend him.

"Seconding that 'Giles' and adding a 'hey!'" Buffy said, and she at least was truly defending him. Angel watched Xander nearly twitch with suppressed words of his own. Cordelia, however, didn't play nice for anyone.

"Oh please, he's had like a thousand chances to kill us and he hasn't. After what Xander did to his original Paul Cadmus, Angel would have been justified in going evil."

"Hey!" Xander blurted, "that thing was ugly. Ugly and freaky... and potentially demonic. How was I supposed to know it was some piece of actual art?" Cordelia rolled her eyes at him, but her foot stayed on his chair, clearly claiming him for her own, even if she considered him a dork who couldn't recognize art. "And again with the I'm really sorry," Xander apologized to Angel again.

"It's okay, Xander," Angel assured him. He hadn't been fond of the painting himself, which was why it had been in a closet and not on the wall. "However, if you don't trust me, Giles, you can come along and supervise the move."

"I hardly think I should leave Buffy here alone," Giles quickly dismissed that suggestion, but he still looked more than a little concerned.

"So send Xander," Cordelia suggested. "I would go myself, but this sounds like actual work, and you people do not pay me to work."

Giles just blinked for a second before he started shaking his head. "With a month of school left, I cannot condone pulling Xander out of classes for this sort of expedition."

"Hey, I am all willing to be pulled," Xander argued. "Ready, willing, and able to be pulled. I would love to be pulled. Seriously, pull me." Oz's mouth quirked at the corners, and Angel suspected the older boy had caught the double entendre in that comment.

"And what about your schoolwork?" Giles asked.

"I do better when it's just me and Angel trying to figure out osmosis together than when I'm in class," Xander pointed out.

"If you don't understand osmosis, I could explain it," Willow offered shyly.

Cordelia snorted. Immediately Willow blushed and dropped her gaze to the table and Buffy glared murder at the woman, but Angel understood well enough. Being tutored by someone who understood too well could be disastrous. At least when he struggled to decipher Xander's texts, he never made the boy feel incompetent. He often felt incompetent himself because at nearly 300 years old he was clearly inadequately educated for this time period, but Xander never had to feel overwhelmed.

"Thanks Will, but I did actually figure that one out," Xander smoothed things over. "But Giles, I really am better at learning when I'm not actually in the classroom, so I could go with Angel as long as we have a story that explains why I'm ditching class for a week or so. I mean, we are talking weekish and not monthish, right? I so don't want to repeat a grade."

"That would be unfun," Oz agreed quietly.

Angel nodded. "We could load Acathla on a semi, drive somewhere relatively safe, and bury it in a week. I have funds to fly home after that."

"I'm not sure what the Council will have to say about that." Giles was staring as he glasses, not even cleaning them.

"I'm not asking permission from someone a fraction of my age," Angel said quietly. "I wanted you to know what I was doing." That silenced Giles. He looked up at Angel and swallowed so that his Adam's apple bounced as he remained silent.

"I am officially bored stiff. Look, Buffy and the others can find the hospital demon without Xander looking at the dirty pictures, right?" Cordelia asked as she stood up and Xander followed almost instinctively. "The girls who need extra cheer practice should be finishing up and we're going to walk them home," she told the group before she turned her back and headed for the doors, a queen convinced that her white knight would follow.

"Hey, I'll see you guys later, and if you still need more with the research tomorrow night, I'll be here," Xander said brightly before he turned and chased after Cordelia. The ones who were left watched Angel as he nodded his head in their direction and turned to follow Xander.

"Okay, Angel doing the stalkerish thing with Xander... was that just as big with the creepy when he was chasing me?"

"Um... kinda," Willow offered, "only in a much more romantic 1940's movie sort of stalker way."

"Perhaps we can get back to work now," Giles suggested. "I'm sure Angel and Xander will get the cheerleaders home unharmed."

Angel smiled as he shadowed Cordelia and Xander all the way to the gym. Clearly there were still undercurrents running through the library, but Xander was at the very least, forgiven for Kendra's death. Now if Angel could only get them to understand that Xander had no culpability in the first place, then he might feel more comfortable with the dynamics in the group.

"Hey, hey, Xand the tripping man is here to escort all you lovely ladies home, all muggers, weirdos, and creeps will be tripped over, fallen on, and made to laugh themselves harmless while I'm around," Xander joked as he hit the gym doors. "And why am I talking to an empty gym?"

Angel hurried up a little, and found a furious looking Cordelia and a bewildered Xander in a dark gym.

"Harmony." Cordelia just about hissed the name. "We are never going to win the regional cheer conference if she just lets them go home when they want. Cheer is pain, people. They don't get that." Cordelia reversed and headed back out the doors, and Angel flattened himself against the wall to let her pass because he did not want to get in the way of a full Cordelia fury.

"Thank god I have a bodyguard," Xander whispered as he hurried past, catching Angel's arm and pulling him along in Cordelia's wake.

"And the swim team is actually not sucking and we're going to be out there and that horrible little Desiree isn't even going to be able to get her kicks timed with the rest of the line. I swear, I'm going to strangle Harmony for this." Cordelia slammed out the front doors of the school and headed down the steps with anger rolling off her in heady waves that made Angel's nose itch. "At this point, Buffy is going to be a better choice for the last slot than Desiree, and I do not want Buffy anywhere near my cheerleaders."

Cordelia stopped near her car, her hand resting on the hood as she turned to look at them. Now the anger was starting to fade into frustration and something that smelled almost like sorrow.

"Hey, Cordy, you'll get them in shape. If anyone can terrify fifteen and sixteen year olds into doing what they don't want to do, my money's on you," Xander offered. She smiled at him. "And with me and Angel out of the way, you can stay late and torture them like the dominatrix you were born to be."

Angel almost choked on his own tongue.

"Oh please," Cordelia sniffed, "only skanks wear that much leather. But a nice whip might come in handy. Harmony is going to be so tired by the time I'm through with her that her perk is going to fall off."

"Are you going to be safe practicing late?" Angel asked. With Spike gone, the number of vampires was increasing... faster than it should be. By all rights, the minions should retain some fear of Spike in their unbeating hearts, at least until his throne was cold. However, within days of Spike and Drusilla leaving, minions were making new minions without fear of being punished. Someone was playing with court politics, telling the minions that they were safe from Spike... maybe even offering protection against Spike. Either way, Angel kept catching wisps of rumors that something was lurking just beneath the surface in Sunnydale.

"I'll make Buffy walk the girls home," Cordelia sighed. "If she doesn't care enough about school spirit to spend a little time making sure that the cheerleaders don't get eaten before they have a chance to make this a memorable and happy school year for the rest of the students, I'll just wave my legs at Devon. She can either show up or let her boyfriend drool over me."

"Um, Cordelia?" Xander asked with a flinch.

"You goof. I'd let him drool, not touch," she said, her hand resting on Xander's arm. "But I have to get home and start calling girls and yelling at them right now. I mean, without more practice, we are not going to make this year happy or memorable for anyone, and a winning swim team deserves better. So, excuse me while I go inflict some debilitating guilt."

"Have fun torturing the girls," Xander offered as he gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then Cordelia was in her car, heading out of the parking lot with a little more speed than Angel thought necessary, not that he would tell her that.

"She's scary in that mood," Xander commented.

"Very much so," Angel agreed. She was. Angel could feel a core of determination in her that he would truly not want to cross, even if she was only a mortal. And as angry as Spike would get whenever she said it, Angel actually did think she frightened him. She very nearly frightened Angel.

"So, the parentals are still all mad about me making magician with the disappearing act, so I think I have to go home," Xander commented with a frown as he stared down the street toward his house.

"I'll walk you."

"I have my sword if you're busy, you know, if you want to go hit the cemeteries on the south end," Xander said as he patted his thigh.

"It's a cinquedea."

"It's a dagger with dreams of swordhood... or it's a sword with a thyroid deficiency; I haven't decided which," Xander shrugged. "But it's a handy dandy vampire hacker upper, that's for sure. And it functions nicely to impress the girls, although I think Harmony actually liked the carved curlicues on the blade more than the actual blade. And again with the pointing out the oddity of having pretties on a weapon."

"You just think that because Buffy lets her stakes turn to dust with the vampires more often than not."

"Well, duh. I mean, if I’m going to carve something, I really don't want my carving to get all dusted or dusty or even crappy with demon goo. Seriously, Angel, if something other than a vampire comes at me, my first thought is going to be, 'crap, I don't want demon ick on my nice swordlike thing.'"

"Cinquedea."

"Okay, that time I was going for self-deprecating humor with the pretending to not know that it's a cinquedea." Xander rolled his eyes.

Not for the first time, Angel wondered how any of these children ever understood each other. Cordelia cared passionately, and covered it up by pretending to care about nothing. Buffy worried about her future that loomed ever closer since Kendra died, and she pretended that she didn't have a worry in the world. Willow feared failure so much she could taste the bile of it in her mouth, and she pretended to be perfect. They were all so very flawed. Probably as much as he had been at their age, and Angel had thought himself an egregious failure as a human. It had never occurred to him that this was normal.

And then there was Xander. Angel reached up and rested his hand on Xander's shoulder. "I'm only going to say this once, so listen closely. If a demon comes at you, run. If you can't run, you pull that blade and kill it. And if you worry for one second about that blade, I will show you how I taught William to stop running the horses to death."

Xander glanced up, but instead of fear, Angel saw a partially successful attempt to hide a grin. "Nothing says love like the threat of torture."

"Smartass."

"Hey, that's a Spike quote."

"And you take Spike's advice?"

"Spike is dangerous but he's never lied. Okay, he lies a lot, but he never lies when I ask him something and tell him it's important."

Angel nodded as though he were thinking about that. Funny, Xander was still putting his relationship with Spike in the present tense. "You bring out the William in him, I think."

"God, don't tell him that. He'll try to gut me."

"No he won't," Angel growled, losing control of his gameface for a second.

This time Xander laughed. "Okay, if threatening me with torture is love, what do you call threatening other people with hypothetical torture for their hypothetical sins against me?"

"I just don't want you getting in the middle of something you can't handle," Angel said stiffly as he struggled to regain control of the conversation.

"I'm dating Cordelia. I'm way out of the 'being able to handle it' pool and swimming in the 'aw fuck' ocean with the big fish. And speaking of the being not able to handle it, I'm all out of clever plans for being able to convince the parentals to let me go with you on the demon delivery. Any plans, oh cranky one?"

"A few ideas. You go on up, and I'll see you tomorrow," Angel said as he stopped in front of Xander's house. He hated that his evenings with Xander had been terminated by a sudden burst of familial interest, especially since their interests were limited to making sure Xander stayed home, and not talking to him or helping him with homework. And Xander's sparring was starting to suffer for the lack of practice. Angel was not going to let all his training be wasted because of such ridiculous rules. Tomorrow would hopefully fix one problem, and a call to Saul to ask for a semi and driver should fix his second one. That would just leave the issue of the rumors to solve. Overall, Angel considered it a good night.

Bait, Swindle and Self-destruct

Tony Harris checked the name on the office against the notarized letter they'd received.

"Is this it?" Jessica asked, her eyes bright with excitement.

"Yep. And here I thought your family was good for nothing," he joked. The excitement in her eyes dulled for a second, and Tony let it drop. Her family were a bunch of stuck up assholes who had dropped her and her father quick enough when the old man had lost his money. If Tony hadn't stuck by Jessica after she got pregnant, they would have turned her out like yesterday's garbage. He had no idea why she insisted on sticking up for them. Yeah, his family had a couple of rotten apples hanging from the branches, but they weren't rotten at the root. And now, with Alexander hanging onto that rich bitch from school, he looked to be taking after his mother's side.

He pushed open the door and stopped short as a large man stood a foot inside. "Oh, hey, we got a letter," he said, holding the letter up. This guy was not looking like a lawyer. He looked more like that guy that Bruce had collect a few gambling debts.

"Mr. and Mrs. Harris?" he asked, holding out his hand. Tony surrendered the letter and the man took it before retreating behind a large desk. The name plate was brass: Angel O'Connelly, Esquire. That must have cost a pretty penny. Then again, the entire office smelled of money. Tony sank into a leather chair across from the lawyer, and Jessica followed a second later.

The lawyer leaned forward and clicked on a brass desk lamp, which seemed unnecessary since it was day, but heavy red curtains covered the windows. The whole room gave Tony that feeling he'd had when he'd egged his English teacher's car and gotten called into the principal's office.

"So, you're Destry LaVelle's lawyer," Tony said, trying to sound friendly. He didn't even make his normal jokes about the LaVelles' horrible taste in names. Alexander insisting on being called 'Xander'... that was all Jessica's fault. If he'd married a good solid girl, he would have gotten lots of kids with normal names, and they would have been on the football team or basketball team or some shit like that, too. "I thought old Destry died way back."

"He disappeared," Jessica said softly, not quite contradicting him.

"The matter of his will has only now come to my office," Mr. O'Connelly said as he leaned back. The man looked too young to be much of a lawyer, but his suit—like his office—stank of money, and Tony needed that money. Neither Jessica or Alexander were easy on his pocket, and California was an expensive state. "And the terms of Mr. LaVelle's will are rather specific."

"Specific?" Jessica asked, looking worried for the first time. "Specific about what?"

"About young Alexander," Mr. O'Connelly commented, steepling his fingers in front of him in a way that made Tony even more nervous. If that kid screwed up some inheritance, Tony was going to take it out of his hide. It was about time the kid started to work anyway. His old man always said that when a boy's old enough to go running around all night he's old enough to work all night. Besides, that would keep him away from that Donella bitch he was dating. No way did he want his son getting stuck marrying some bitch who would never let him forget that he would never make as much money as her late sainted father.

"Alexander's a wonderful young man," Jessica said with a big plastic smile. The lawyer didn't seem impressed.

"Mr. LaVelle was concerned that he not fall prey to the temptations that seem so common in today's young people," the lawyer said, and it was almost funny because with his spiky hair and build, he looked like he should be a running back for some college team, not a lawyer complaining the younger generation.

"Xander isn't into drugs or free sex or any of that. We've raised him with good morals and values," Jessica said, trotting out that old, tired 'aren't we a perfect family' routine of hers. But if there was money in the offering, Tony was a little more willing than usual to go along with her.

"Yes, well I made some inquiries on my own. I volunteered with the school and have spent several evenings tutoring Xander."

"You what?" Tony demanded. If this asshole tried to keep their money because Xander had said something, Tony was suing his ass off. "I never gave you permission to speak to my son."

"Then you're turning down the inheritance? I have that paper right here although I had not thought you would choose to turn down the money."

Jessica slid forward on her chair until she nearly tumbled out of it. "Turn down? We never turned down anything! Tony was just concerned that you didn't do anything to upset our Xander. He was particularly close to cousin Destry."

The lawyer raised an eyebrow and just stared at them while being perfectly still. Tony could swear the man wasn't even breathing.

"I didn't mean to say we'd turn down the money," Tony finally said, and that was the closest this asshole was getting to an apology. It seemed to be enough though. He nodded.

"Mr. LaVelle was very specific. He wanted Alexander to have access to an educated male to act as tutor and mentor."

"Mentor? That sounds like a fag," Tony said with a frown. He knew what older men wanted with boys, and his boy wasn't having nothing to do with that.

The lawyer sighed. "Mr. Harris, I assure you that I am not now nor have I ever been gay. And while I have no intentions of providing a history, the women in my past leave little doubt about my taste in sexual partners," he said with a sort of fancy disgust that just made Tony want to get out of the room. The promise of money was the only thing keeping him in his seat. "Mr. LaVelle wanted Xander to live up to his potential. The firm explained that he had no right to interfere with another man's family."

"Damn right," Tony exclaimed, happy that he could agree with something this lawyer was saying. However, now the lawyer had an even more disgusted look on his face.

"The firm helped him draft this document." Angel O'Connelly, Esquire pushed a thin stack of papers across the desk toward them. "Here is the short version. I am to have partial custody of Xander, including a say in medical and legal decisions and visitation rights." Tony opened his mouth to object to that but the lawyer just talked right over him. "And in return there is a trust fund set up to provide you with five thousand dollars a month."

"Five thousand? That's all?" Jessica asked quietly. Tony almost told her to shut up. He was the one who worked, and he knew how many overtime hours he had to put in for five thousand dollars.

"Five thousand a month for 15 months until Xander graduates, which is $75,000 dollars. There is an additional $10,000 for signing the custody paperwork today, and a $25,000 bonus after Xander's graduation provided that I sign off that you have been cooperative and helpful during this process." The lawyer smiled, but it wasn't a nice smile. It was like one of those men who just dare you to take a swing because they know they have a tire iron behind their back.

"And what exactly does cooperative mean?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"It means that you allow me to work with Xander. He lacks faith in his own abilities and his grades are only now starting to come up."

"He was never good with school," Jessica said apologetically.

"Then I will help him find something he is good at after he graduates; however, your only choice is to give me partial custody or to forfeit the inheritance." The lawyer opened a drawer, and given the man's expression, Tony tightened up wondering if he had a gun in there. Instead O'Connelly pulled out a bit of paper. He slid it across the desk, and Tony reached for it. It was a check. It was a $10,000 check. Damn that was a nice chunk of change, even if it wasn't enough to make Jessica happy.

Tony glanced over, and Jessica was chewing on her lower lip. The bitch was about to say something that would ruin this, he just knew it.

"Sign the papers," Tony told her.

"But Tony..."

"Sign."

"He's our son."

"This is your fucking cousin who set this up. Your family always has hated me, and now your fairy cousin is reaching out from the grave for his chance to poison Xander against hard work and honest living. Xander's smart enough to figure out that bullshit smells like bullshit, so I'm not worried about him. I am, however, worried that we don't have money for that new paint job for the house or that fancy wine you like to drink." Tony was proud of his ability to bribe and threaten his wife at the same time, and just like he expected, she crumbled under his attack. She quietly signed the papers. Tony followed, adding his scrawl to his wife's John Hancock before pushing the papers back over to the lawyer.

"The check is yours. To get the rest of the payments, you'll need to appear in front of a judge three weeks from tomorrow to have the papers finalized." Now the lawyer looked more relaxed. It looked like good old dead Destry had found himself a lawyer who cared about actually getting the job done. Every lawyer Tony'd ever talked to just wanted the fee up front.

"Oh," the lawyer said suddenly as though he'd just remembered something. "I have a business trip tomorrow; it lasts for a week. As a show of cooperation, I think you should allow Xander to accompany me so that we can get to know each other and work on his math grades. They've been dropping in the last two weeks."

"But..." Jessica started. Tony glared the woman into silence.

"That'd be fine, but if he needs clothes or food or something, I expect you can take care of that since he'll be in your custody."

"Agreed," the lawyer said as he stood up, and Tony got the feeling that the meeting was over. That was okay; he needed to get the check cashed anyway. And then he was going to call work and tell them he wouldn't be in for the rest of the day. A dead relative was reason enough for a well-deserved day off.

Tony stood up and held out his hand to his wife before he pulled her from the room. Today had worked out pretty damn good, all things considered. He might even hate Jessica's relatives a little less now... especially the dead ones. Dead was always good.

Angel watched the Harrises leave. He'd met slime demons he liked more than those two. Walking over to the window, he raised the shade and stood in the light of the window as he watched them walk to the curb, still talking. Mrs. Harris' hands were fluttering in front of her. Angel didn't know what was worse: Tony Harris' lack of concern or Mrs. Harris being concerned but not concerned enough to go to battle for her son. If Angel had been a pedophile, the Harrises would have just turned over a good deal of control to a monster. Technically, he now had 60% custody of Xander.

Fingering the Ring of Amara, Angel wondered what Spike would think when he came home and found out that $110,000 was gone from the accounts they'd set up from the other treasure that had been in the crypt with the ring. Oh, Spike wouldn't blink to spend that much on Xander, but he was going to be pissed that Angel had paid the Harrises off instead of just eating them. And Angel knew that he couldn't just claim that he wanted to protect Xander from the guilt of being friends with his parents' killer. With a fraction of that money, Angel could hire someone to kill the Harrises on some night when he had a solid alibi.

Spike wouldn't understand that Angel did it because of his soul, but he would just have to have another conversation with his childe. He'd helped cure Drusilla and he staked vampires and he paid off the Harrises all for the same reason: he thought it was the right thing to do. After centuries of killing, or, even worse, doing nothing, Angel was trying to make the right choices.

Of course, more and more he was finding that there was a dearth of right choices out there. He had to pick between bad and less bad. Kill Xander's parents, allow Xander's parents to ruin him, or give Xander's parents just enough money to seriously damage themselves. Angel was doing his best. By the time Spike wandered back to Sunnydale, he might even be able to see the natural consequences of two drunks being given too much money. That would amuse him. And when the money ran out... well, that was just going to be ugly. But at least their blood wasn't splattered across the wall.

Standing in the sun and feeling the warmth soak into his skin, Angel watched as the Harrises pulled away from the curb and headed back to their sad little lives with just enough money to encourage them to do such sad little things with those lives. And he didn't feel guilty at all.

Deaf, Dumb, and Destiny-blind

Xander watched as the huge semi slowed and then bounced to a stop in the alley behind the warehouse with a squeal and a final jolt. The music for "Convoy" was running through Xander's head, and he focused on not actually singing the words out loud because that would be too geeky even for him. When the door opened, a young man with short curls and a huge smile opened the door and stuck his head up.

"Hey, is Angel around?"

"Not yet," Xander said. "I'm the one-time sidekick and assistant rock lifter."

"Cool," the trucker said as he jumped down, and this was one seriously strange trucker. He couldn't be more than a couple of years older than Xander, and Xander knew that he wasn't totally trustworthy with Uncle Rory's car, so no way would he trust himself with a semi. "Blair Sandburg," the guy introduced himself as he stuck out his hand. Xander took it, feeling both strangely adult and just strange shaking a man's hand like that.

"Xander Harris," he introduced himself.

"Xander? Are you Dutch?"

"Am I what?" Xander studied this guy more closely because first, he was way more with the off track than even Xander was used to and second, he was potentially stoned. Stoned would explain the off track. Devon did that sometimes... just said something that had no connection to the rest of the conversation.

"Xander... that's a pretty common nickname for Alexander in the Netherlands, but I don't hear it around here all that often."

"Oh, uh, no with the Dutch, more with the lower middle class California here. You know, the preference for a name no one else has, only obviously it's not so much with the uniqueness if you say Dutch people are big with Xandering," Xander said with a shrug as he checked out this Blair. Lots of earrings put him on the Oz and Devon side of the cool fence, but his glasses were all geek.

"Hey, I'm all for being an individual," he nodded agreeably. "Some people are way too into conforming, but if you follow the pack, you just end up breathing their dust, right?" Blair asked with a bright smile. "So, should I unload the forklift or just hang here until Angel shows up?"

Xander must have made a face or something at Angel's name, because Blair took a fast step back. "Whoa, hey, if you and Angel have a problem, I am so not part of that." He held his hands up as though to ward off Xander.

"This is more the 'I'm going to kill him even though he's my friend' type of problem than an actual problem-problem," Xander promised.

"Kill as in metaphorically then?"

"Probably," Xander nodded. "Maybe."

Blair looked at him for a second before giving an amused huff and heading for the back of the truck. "Man, just do not get blood on the truck. Uncle Saul would not be amused."

"How about dust?" Xander asked, not quite loud enough for Blair to actually hear. He was so dusting Angel. Or if not dusting him, doing him bodily harm. A few toothpicks in painful places, maybe. Too bad Spike wasn't around or he'd sit on Angel while Xander did the sticking. This time Deadboy had really gone too far, and the whole hour-long lecture from his dad about not getting enticed into some sort of cult or sexual perversion... that was an hour that would haunt him for the rest of his life and potentially drive him into therapy.

"Xander," a voice called softly, and Xander turned, his glare already up to full-power.

"Deadboy," he answered as Angel slipped out of the shadow. A frown flickered across Angel's face.

"What's wrong?" Angel asked as he stepped close, his hand finding Xander's shoulder where it usually rested, only this time Xander shrugged it off and retreated a step. Yellow flashed in Angel's eyes for just a second. "Xander? What is it?" he asked again, this time not trying to reach out.

"You bought me? Hello! Major with the disturbo. I mean, stalking, yeah, I get that seeing as how this is a hellmouth and hellmouthy happens. So when you follow me and Cordelia, I put that under the column labeled 'whatever,'" Xander said, making air quotes with his fingers. "And hey, lots of times the stalkerish is goodish because of the way I seem to attract trouble, especially before Dru left town. But buying me from my parents was way over the line in a creepy set up for a movie-of-the-week sort of way."

"I did not 'buy' you," Angel started to say, and that was just all kinds of wrong. Xander would not have been stuck with 60 minutes of the world's creepiest parent lecture without the buying. Most of the time his dad just left him the hell alone, so only something this weird could shake his father out of his laziness, and the sudden appearance of money around the house... that was so backing his father's story up.

"'Liar, Liar, pants on fire' would be the Willow-phrase to cover this," Xander just about growled as he backed up another step. "And I get that you were all with the worried about me not training enough, and I was with the worried too because not training is not good when you don't know what boogieman is behind the next corner, but buying me was..." Xander stopped, his own emotions threatening to break in a way that they hadn't yet. Faced with a week of Angel, he'd tried bottling these emotions up and putting them away, but he had always sucked at the repressing. "Angel," Xander tried again, his voice artificially calm, and Xander struggled to just hang on to that calm. "I so did not need to know that my parents would sell me. Yeah, my dad threatened to sell me to these Armenians who owned a restaurant once, but that was Harris humor at work. This time he really did it."

Angel took a step back and frowned. "Xander, they think your cousin Destry hired me to look out for you. They didn't sell you."

"Who?" Xander asked with a frown because the only Destry he knew was riding again in Saturday morning movies. "Nevermind because the who is so not the issue here. Look, you got them to sign over partial custody, yes?" Xander checked.

"By telling them that I was a lawyer hired by Destry LaVelle to protect your interests."

"There were papers signed and money so changed hands, yes?" Xander demanded.

"Well, yes," Angel said with a flinch.

"That would be buying. Buying of people is both legally and morally not on the side of good, and buying me is just.... Seriously, I so did not need to know that my parents would do that," Xander said, and then he bit his lip and closed his eyes to try and keep back the very unmanly tears he could feel pricking his eyes. He was not going to cry. Not not not. Just no.

"Xander," Angel said, and with that tone of voice Xander knew exactly what expression Angel had on his face—it was two parts guilt and three parts frustration. "Your father only agreed because he said you were strong enough and smart enough to not fall for any lies."

"My dad? My dad called me smart?" Xander asked, his eyes popping open in surprise.

"He said," Angel stepped closer, "that you were smart enough to know LaVelle bullshit and not fall for it."

"Okay, that kinda sounds like dad," Xander admitted. His father hated the LaVelles, which was fair since they pretty much hated him right back. His mom didn't even talk about her family, well, except at Christmas, which is what usually led to the annual 'you ruined my life' funfest that drove him outside.

"He said he'd raised a son with a solid head on his shoulders, not some fairy with his head in the clouds, and why is your father obsessed with homosexuality?" Angel asked.

That made Xander laugh. "Oh, that."

"Yes, that. After meeting your father, I think I know why you reacted so badly to me having a relationship with Spike." Angel shook his head as though he just couldn't figure humans out.

"Hey, you still so should have warned me. I spent an hour listening to how I should tell the judge if you tried to make me touch anything and how you were stuck up and would probably try to get me to look down my nose at my own parents, and if I came home with an attitude, he would give me an attitude adjustment." Xander jumped when Angel growled, his eyes shining yellow in the dark.

"If he touches you..." Angel hissed.

"Not dad's style," Xander said as he put a hand on Angel's arm to calm him down. Spike had said that touching was something vampires just needed... like an animal wanting to curl up with the family or something. Xander thought it actually came closer to monkeys grooming each other, but the fact was that Spike and Angel were always finding some excuse to touch, usually by smacking and pushing each other. But once Xander understood that touching was a vampire thing, he'd discovered he could calm Angel down pretty quick with a pat on the arm. Sure enough, the yellow vanished. "Dad's idea of an attitude adjustment is to break something of mine. He ripped up all my baseball cards when I was about eight. Mom had to hold me to keep me from hitting him, and she was begging him to stop, but he ripped each one in half right in front of me, and then he told me that if I ever cursed him out again, I wouldn't have anything left in my room... which was pretty effective at getting me to stop swearing."

"Xander," Angel nearly gasped, and then Xander found himself caught in strong arms and pulled close. Okay, this was new. Xander stood there shocked for a second and then he awkwardly patted Angel on the back.

"Hey, lots of kids have it worse. Your dad hit you," Xander pointed out. "A lot."

"But he never hurt me like that," Angel said, his arms not loosening as he held onto Xander. "Anything you really value, let's move it over to the apartment, just in case."

"Um, I think we can call you forgiven now," Xander said, and this was really odd. It wasn't like his dad had taken a belt to him or anything, and he really shouldn't have been swearing. Slowly, Angel eased up and then he stepped back a half step, his hand still on Xander's shoulder.

"I'm glad you forgive me. I really didn't understand that this would hurt you," Angel said, his face looking shiny in the yellow light of the streetlamp. "You said you hoped I had a plan, and I did, but you had a right to know before I did it."

Xander sighed. "I probably would have told you to not do it. Okay, so I definitely would have told you to not do it, and I would have added a side of 'my parents would never go along with that,' but obviously I would have been wrong because it did work, and now we can work on the training again."

"And your grades," Angel added.

Xander frowned at him. "Angel, no offense, but you helping me with biology is like the blind leading the really, really blind."

"We'll figure it out," Angel said with confidence as he turned toward the truck. Xander blushed brilliant red when he saw that Blair was standing there leaning against the truck and watching. And thank god for darkness because humiliation really was not one of Xander's favorite emotions.

"Hey, Angel," Blair said.

Angel nodded. "I didn't expect Saul to send you."

"Summer starts early in college, and I need the money. I have the forklift in back, so are we ready for a little B & E? Man, I just hope the Sunnydale cops are as bad as Saul said." He shook his head as he headed to the back of the truck. "If we get caught, my grad school application is so getting shredded."

Grad school? Okay, so this guy was older than Xander thought. "The cops are idiots," Xander said, happy to change the subject as he followed Blair. "There are all kinds of murderers just running around, and the cops are pretty much on traffic duty... writing tickets for people who park in red zones."

"We're safe," Angel added. "Get the forklift down, and I'll pick the lock on the warehouse." Blair nodded and jumped up into the truck and started the engine on a small forklift, backing it up onto a ramp that extended off the back of the semi. Xander had a whole lot of nothing to do as he watched Angel break into the warehouse and Blair lower the lift and then drive the forklift into the warehouse to pick up a big block of stone and load it into the truck.

Xander tried to jump up and help Blair tie the block down, but Angel's hand stopped him. "Don't."

"Okay, this is me being big with the unhelpfulness," Xander sighed as Blair did the work.

"Legend says that worthy blood can wake Acathla, so I would just as soon you not touch it," Angel said. Xander frowned at the man because that had sounded suspiciously like Angel had just called him worthy, and he was just ready to get off the rollercoaster his emotions were riding tonight.

"That's looking way more like a block of stone than a demon," Xander whispered.

"It's his coffin. The Norse writing is a warning to anyone who finds him."

"And what with everyone reading Norse, it's so terribly helpful in a useless kind of way," Xander pointed out. "And you are talking loud enough for human ears to hear you," Xander said with a meaningful look in Blair's direction.

"Blair," Angel called, "How are your Uncle Saul's spawn?"

"They are growing way too fast. I mean, yeah, I get that D'fatum grow up fast, but it seems like they've grown by at least four or five years every time I go back," he said as he tied the last knot. "I'm just lucky that my blood is so diluted or no way would I be able to pass for human without some serious tampering with the official records. As it was, they all thought 16 was early for me to start college." Blair snorted as if that were a joke, but Xander just stared at the man. He looked so human. Okay, so Angel and Spike looked human too, but they used to actually be human, and this guy wasn't human.

"Oh man, you didn't know, did you?" Blair asked as he skirted around the forklift that he had tied down closer to the doors. "Angel, you're a complete dick sometimes."

"I can be," Angel admitted.

"You're a demon? I mean, there's a definitely lack of demoniness what with the curls and the eyes and please tell me that you aren't wearing some human like a suit or something," Xander begged as it suddenly occurred to him that maybe what he was seeing wasn't the demon but the host, like with a vampire.

"Considering your relationship with Angel, I would think you'd be a little more open-minded," Blair snorted as he jumped down and started closing up the back of the truck. "Five days in a small cab with you is going to be interesting. Yeah, that's the word: interesting." Blair made the word sound like a curse.

"Ignore me, I offend first and figure out how to get my foot out of my mouth later," Xander scrambled to say when Angel scowled at him. "I mean, I guess I’m just used to demons being the ones trying to open hellmouths and take over the world, and why would they want to take over the world because running it would be absolutely no fun at all. There are the roads and bridges and the electrical grid to keep up, and who's going to run the factories if you eat all the humans, and from what I've seen, demons so like to shop at Walmart."

That made Blair stop and study him. "Good point," he said slowly before he gave Angel a confused look.

"Xander, D'fatum are known as fate demons. They aren't evil, not even full blooded ones," Angel said softly.

"And man, I am far from full-blooded. Far, far. Look, we got off to a rough start, so let's try this again. Hi, I’m Blair Sandburg, about one-tenth D'fatum and trying to get into grad school for anthropology. I'm driving this summer for my uncle, who's really my great-great-great-great uncle."

"Um, Xander Harris, sidekick and joke provider to the stars," Xander offered. Blair gave him a strange look, but then Angel's arm rested on Xander's shoulder.

"Let's get out of here in case anyone realized this was Acathla," Angel suggested as he steered Xander toward the cab of the truck.

"Totally. I do not want to be here if some psycho shows up," Blair agreed as he trotted past them and hurried around the front of the truck to climb into the driver's side. Angel detoured and grabbed a heavy knapsack Xander had brought and then they were bouncing out of the alley, Blair shifting about a million times as he maneuvered his truck through the quiet streets of Sunnydale. Not a creature was stirring, well, except for the vampire who snarled at them from the gates of a cemetery.

"Angel."

"I'll call Giles," Angel said as he pulled out his cell phone. Either Xander was hallucinating or there were more vampires around lately, which was not really comforting. Sometimes he wished Spike would come back because he knew that the hellmouth was safer with Spike threatening the unlife out of the local vamps. But if Spike came back, that would definitely lead to Spike-Buffy confrontations which would be very much of the not good. Xander had no idea who would win, but he figured he'd be left hating the survivor. And if he ended up hating Buffy, he'd pretty much lose all his friends except Cordelia and Angel. And he if hated Spike... well, he had a feeling that Spike wouldn't be amused, and a not amused Spike was a thing of very big danger.

Xander managed to keep quiet until they hit the open road heading north on Highway 5. "I've never heard of D'fatum demons," Xander said about a half second before he realized he probably didn't want to talk about why he had heard of other demons because talking to a demon about the slayer was on the don't-go-there list.

"I'm not the expert. Angel knows more than I do on that subject," Blair said, and that surprised Xander. Angel rarely talked about other demons when they were researching in the library. Angel had retreated into the living space behind the seats and Xander lifted the heavy curtain that separated the back area. Angel was sitting on the bed sorting Xander's textbooks.

"Angel?"

"They can see destinies," Angel said without any more elaboration.

"Okay, that was less than helpful," Xander pointed out. Angel sighed, the kind of sigh he made right before he gave up the good information. Xander hooked the curtain on the back of his seat.

"Whistler, the one who showed me Buffy, he was D'fatum," Angel admitted reluctantly.

"Oh man, he is a total busybody. I keep telling him that it's not about fate as much as choices," Blair said.

"He told me Buffy was my destiny," Angel said with a frown. And Xander was guessing that Angel really did trust this guy because conversations about the slayer were generally not on the approved list of topics with demons.

"Are you sure? I mean, Whistler is like seriously into obfuscating."

"Is that a demon thing?" Xander asked.

Blair almost looked like he smiled, but then the expression vanished. "He says the truth, but he bends it in a way to make you believe what he wants you to believe."

"Ah, a Buffy special. She doesn't exactly lie to her mom, but she sure lets Joyce make some assumptions."

"Yeah, that's Whistler's M.O.," Blair agreed.

"Wait, if you can read destinies, can you read mine? I mean, unless it's something really terrible because I don't do good with knowing when something bad is coming. I'm more of a pop-test guy than someone who wants lots of warning."

Blair shifted before he glanced over with a shake of his head. "No way. You're 100% human, and humans do not have destinies. Humans have choices, man. It's all about the choices."

"But Buffy has a destiny," Xander said, and now he was totally confused, which wasn't a new experience for him, but still... it would be nice to get through one conversation without someone having to draw him a diagram.

"She's the slayer, right?"

Xander nodded.

"I mean, it's not like slayers are exactly human," Blair said, and Xander could feel the bottom drop out of his stomach.

"What? No. No, Buffy is all human. Buffy is so human she makes humanity look less human in comparison. She's about shopping for dresses and shoes and trying to out-cat Cordelia, and we're talking human cattiness with the being bitchy, not some sort of cat demon."

"Whoa, hey, no offense intended," Blair hurried to offer.

"Xander, Blair's right. Slayers aren't totally human, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with Buffy," Angel assured him, but that was not the kind of assurance that he wanted. He wanted Angel to say that Blair was wrong. He wanted someone to say that of course Buffy was human.

"No. Just no. No with more no on top."

"I'm on the verge of taking serious offense," Blair said dryly. "You are showing some serious racism, man."

That shut Xander up faster than anything else Blair could have said. Shit. He was turning into his father. Only being racist against demons somehow didn't seem as bad as making Hispanic jokes. Hispanics were people who deserved respect. Demons were.... Xander glanced from Angel to Blair and they both had serious expressions on their faces.

"Does she know?" Xander asked softly.

Blair glanced over his shoulder, but Angel could only shrug. "I don't know. I don't know if Giles is even aware of it. I do know the council uses the demonic traits to track potentials."

"Man, those are some people who've made some seriously shitty choices, doing what they do to the slayers." Blair sounded angry.

"What?" Xander demanded.

Angel was the one to answer. "If they identify the potential slayers early, they remove them from the family and raise them to be dependent on the council."

"Like Kendra," Xander said softly.

"Yes," Angel agreed. "I knew that she'd been brainwashed by the watchers, and I should have tried harder to reach her—to convince her to accept my protection, and that is my fault Xander, not yours."

"Okay, that is creepy."

"Most demons think so, too," Blair pointed out. "Or the good demons anyway. I think the world-ending sort just focus on avoiding the slayer."

"Good demons?" Xander asked, his voice threatening to crack in an unmanly way.

Blair shook his head. "Angel, aren't you teaching him anything?"

"He's too young to put in the middle with Giles... the watcher," Angel said carefully, and Xander glared at him.

"I'm old enough to be in the middle of whatever I want... well unless I want to drink because the drinking age is 21... or vote. But I can almost vote."

"So you're old enough," Blair summarized, saving Xander from saying anything even more with the stupid.

"Exactly," Xander agreed.

"Not all demons are evil. I mean, Angel is pretty much proof of that."

"He has a soul," Xander said uncertainly.

"Lots of demons do. The word demon comes from the Greek 'daio' which means to divide up as in there are humans and then there are demons, and we're sort of divided up into separate camps. For the Greeks, a demon was something with more powers than a human but who lived on earth and wasn't a full god, and no way would I ever aspire to godhood, so yeah, that seems like a pretty good word."

"Brain cramp here," Xander complained. "Angel?" he asked as he turned to his friend for some sort of path out of the sudden confusion he found himself in.

"Blair's right," Angel agreed. "Demons can be good or bad, and the Greeks knew that, but the world changed and demons were redefined as evil spirits. But some things, like vampires, are by nature dangerous, you know this."

"I thought I knew a lot of things, now I'm not so much with the knowing anything," Xander said softly.

Blair gave a soft laugh. "It hurts when the world view shifts, huh? Man, I've been there. I've so totally been there. But you can trust Angel. The Greeks would have said that you were 'eydaimon' meaning happy or under the guidance of a good demon who would lead you to good places."

"And the brain cramping keeps on a'coming," Xander sighed. "They wouldn't have had words for these things if it didn't happen. I mean, if no one was ever led to a good place by a good demon, they wouldn't have the word eydaimon, right?"

"Exactly," Blair said with a huge smile.

"And I thought I was eydaimon when Whistler told me Buffy was my destiny, but now I have to wonder," Angel said softly. "Do you really think he would trick me?"

"Totally," Blair agreed. "I mean, there are lots of generally good demons like D'fatum and Skipari and Nutph and Brachen who would love to break the slayers out of the watcher's grip. Those old men are accumulating karma like whoa. Seriously, the way they lie to those girls and make the world out to be human versus demon? So not cool. But no way would Whistler actually lie, and he would never risk putting the world in jeopardy, so what exactly did he tell you?"

Xander stared out the front window and tried to figure out exactly how to put the pieces of his brain back together because it was not all fitting. There was just too much to fit into his skull right now, and he seriously needed Willow to make a pie graph or something to make everything all logical, only there was no Willow out here. Just a crazy guy who said demons were good and a crazier vampire who was agreeing. His head hurt.

"He said I had a choice, that I could go on being nothing or I could be someone."

"That I believe," Blair nodded. "Whistler has a lot more D'fatum blood than I do, so he's way better at reading fates, but I can pretty much see that, too. But man, what did he say to make you think that the slayer was your destiny?"

"He showed her to me, sitting on the stairs to her school," Angel said, and Xander could hear the pain in his friend's voice. Xander instinctively reached back and rested his palm on Angel's hand.

"Man, that would be obfuscation at its best. Your choice is between standing up and being seen for either doing something or becoming as inconsequential as a cockroach. If he never said that you had to help the slayer, then you don't. That's your choice, buddy."

Angel frowned. "He let me go to the hellmouth when I was so weak I could barely take down a fledge because he said she'd be coming. But then when she needed me, I wasn't there, Xander was," he said softly.

"Hey, you were there! You were all CPR adjacent, and the lack of breathing or knowing how to do CPR is a good reason for you to stay adjacent, but don't say you didn't do anything," Xander said firmly. "You were there storming the castle with me."

"See?" Blair asked. "Choice, man, it's all choice. And if you chose to help the slayer and the side of the Æsir, then you're totally on the right path."

"Æsir? Æsir as in Norse gods?" Xander asked in confusion.

"Hey, lots of people believe lots of things, but most 'eudaimon' fall into two camps," Blair nodded. "Some believe the world was created in evil and ice, and the first eudaimon were the Æsir who fought to restore balance. Humanity was created because the good and evil demons had fought each other to a standstill and both sides needed someone new... someone with no destiny at all that could throw the balance toward either good or evil. Other eudaimon believe that good and evil demons were born from gods who battled for many universes, including this one. When the gods were busy battling among themselves, a spirit more powerful than any god or daimon planted the seed of humanity in the dust of earth. The gods and evil daimon tried to kill the humans, and this great spirit pushed them out of this world leaving the eudaimon behind to teach the young species. However kakodaimons, evil demons, had disguised themselves among the eudaimon and one slipped through a portal and corrupted the humans by biting one and leaving his evil in the human's heart."

"Okay, is it just me or is it really weird to think of demons as having their own religions, and being that I'm the only human in this truck, this really might not be the right time to ask that question," Xander sighed. "Angel, you were supposed to make my brain ache with biology and history, not with demonology 101."

"Consider it repayment for the number of times you have forced me to redefine my world views," Angel answered with very little sympathy.

"You two are so incredible awesome together. I mean, Angel, I haven't seen you look this happy... ever."

"You've only seen me once before."

"And you were totally a mess, starved down to bone and looking like one mean word would send you crawling into the sewers. Naomi always said you just needed someone to really love you," Blair nodded. "She's going to be thrilled that you found a mate."

Xander didn't catch the direction Blair's brain was going until he looked over with a huge smile.

"What?!" Xander yelped. "No! No with the mate and no with the gay. I like boobies. I have a girlfriend; she's got great boobs, really nice. She lets me feel them. Why does everyone think I'm gay? Why does everyone think I'm Angel's butt monkey is the better question because I'm not gay. That would be wrong," Xander just about stumbled over his own tongue when he caught the look on Blair's face, and that was not a happy look. "Not that there's anything wrong with gay, so if you're gay, go for it," he hurried to add. "But me and Angel? He's like two hundred and fifty years older than me and pedophilia is so not my thing, not from either end. Nope. No mating."

Angel came to the rescue. "Blair, Xander and I are just friends. He is too young for a serious relationship, and mating with a vampire would be far more serious than he's ready to handle."

"Yeah, exactly. I'm way too immature for something like that," Xander agreed.

"Okay," Blair said slowly, his voice clearly disbelieving. "How old are you, Xander?"

"Seventeen," Xander said firmly, "And seventeen and 240 or 270 or whatever is seriously with the pedophilia and yick."

"I suppose the yick factor is a personal choice, and I'm all about choice, but Xander, pedophilia is having a sexual attraction to someone who hasn't reached puberty. I think we can safely say you've been through puberty."

"It is?" Angel asked with a frown. "So if I liked a sixteen year old...?"

Blair shook his head. "Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen... these are adults in most cultures. And no way is that pedophilia. I mean, our society calls that illegal, and it's probably a smart thing because the cultural creation of a period of adolescence means that American teens aren't mentally prepared for adult choices, but no way is that pedophilia."

"Hear that, Xander?" Angel asked smugly, and Xander knew exactly what the big idiot was thinking.

Xander crossed his arms. "It was still icky. Even if we don't think about the whole age thing, there's still the vampire/slayer thing there."

"Whoa, you have a thing for the slayer?" Blair demanded as he almost choked.

"Had," Angel corrected him. "I thought she was my destiny."

"So you thought you had to bone her? Oh man, that's precious," Blair said with a smirk, and suddenly Xander was liking this guy a whole lot more.

"Exactly, huge with the yick, and I pointed that out and he got all grrrrr with me," Xander said as he leaned back in his seat and glared at Angel.

"I did not grrrrrr," Angel sighed.

"Oh man, I can just imagine. Did he go all yellow eyes?"

"Yep," Xander nodded.

"I did not," Angel objected hotly.

"Oh man, Uncle Saul is going to laugh his ass off."

"Blair," Angel said in a pleading voice.

"And Aunt Jokina is going to break something laughing."

"You wouldn't," Angel almost growled.

"Oh, I so totally would," Blair said with a smile.

Yep, this road trip might turn out pretty good after all, Xander thought as he smiled at the dark road disappearing under the truck at a good clip.

The Road Not Taken

"Pop quiz time," Blair announced happily as he shifted the truck and slowed around a slight curve. Xander squinted as the light from the sunset caught him.

"You are running the risk of no longer being my favoritest truck driver with words like that," Xander warned.

Blair rolled his eyes and then checked his mirrors before changing lanes. "The byproduct of anaerobic respiration?"

"That's when you're running fast because a demon is about to munch on your legs, right?" Xander checked. The science stuff actually made a lot more sense now that Blair put it in terms of demons and things that went bump in the night. Even Angel was getting most of it, and Angel and science were big with the non-mixy. The only reason he studied so much around Angel was the sheer enjoyment of watching Angel get that flummoxed expression when Xander asked for help. Yep, Xander was mean spirited, but then he figured Angel already knew that and freaking bought him anyway. Not that Xander was thinking about that because he was on the not-thinking-about-that plan.

"Man, stop stalling," Blair huffed.

Xander focused on the question and not all the little weirdnesses in his own psyche. "Fine, but it's not like we don't we have enough time out here to waste," Xander pointed out as he waved a hand at the highway. They were near some town called Appleton right now, but whether they were looking at house after house or tree after tree, this wasn't the most exciting trip in the history of tripping. "And the byproduct is lactic acid, which is taken up by the mitochondrial somethings in order to get more energy, unless you overdo it, and then you just cramp. Or unless a Ryk demon catches you because they like to kill humans at the point of maximum lactic acid build-up for the yum, and I have to say, I don't think that last part will be on the test."

"The last part is the only part that really matters if you're going to hunt demons," Angel added from behind the sun-proof curtains that protected the living area.

"Ah, the grumpy-guts awakens," Blair teased. Angel didn't answer, but Xander thought he heard a growl. But then, Angel trapped in a small space was not a happy thing. He'd even insisted on riding in back with the rock guy for one leg of the trip just because he needed to pace. "We're getting ready to stop for gas, and I thought I would kick you two out and get three or four hours of sleep before we do the next leg," Blair suggested, his voice clearly a question.

"That'd be fine," Angel answered immediately, and Blair got an impish grin.

"Someone so does not appreciate my living accommodations," he said softly.

"Angel's a little touchy on the subject of creature comforts," Xander nodded. "Big with the interior decorating. I caught him watching design shows one day."

"Oh, man, I don't doubt it. I can totally see him going into interior design."

"And when I get a little Cheetos dust on the couch, he gets that look on his face like he's trying really hard to not vamp out."

"He probably has fantasies about putting you over his knee," Blair said in a conspiratorial voice with a wink added on. That time, Xander *knew* he heard the growl.

"Dream on, Bloodbreath," Xander called back to Angel. "If you're anally retenting with the couch, I am not responsible for that."

Blair nearly choked to death as he pulled into a gas station. "It's anal retentive, and I don't think there's an 'if' in there, Angel just is," Blair offered.

"As long as that means 'prissy', oh he really, really is." Aside from the having to study part, this trip was turning out a lot more fun than he'd ever expected. Pissing Angel off was always a joy, and Blair tended to tell him about demons and nasties that Angel had somehow managed to completely skip over when teaching him. On top of that, Blair had a knack of explaining school stuff in a way that almost wasn't boring... usually by adding demons and nasties to the lessons.

"Xander, do keep in mind that the sun is going down in about five minutes," Angel warned from the other side of the curtain.

"Yeah, whatever, threaten away, but you paid good money for me, and you're not going to break me now," Xander pointed out, and he was fairly sure his voice was a little more pissy than he meant because Angel fell silent.

"Oh man, you are not good at letting things go, are you?" Blair asked as he brought the truck to an idle behind another truck already fueling.

Xander cringed. "I meant that to be more in the teasing end of the pool than it actually came out," he admitted.

"Buddy," Blair said with a shake of his head, "if that was teasing, I so do not want to be around when you're actually trying to inflict emotional damage."

"When he gets going, it's really something. Spike has stood back and watched with appreciation when he gets up to full speed," Angel said as he stuck his head out from the back. The cab was in shadow and only a few streaks of light were left streaking across the parking lot.

"Hey, I am not sadistic enough for Spike-appreciation."

"Oh yes you are."

"Whoa, Spike likes him? Man, you must have some seriously freaky shit going on if both Angel and Spike like you," Blair said with an amused shake of his head.

"Spike just thinks he's going to get to have sex with me, and that's a big old never-happening. Besides, who did Spike ever see me get emotionally damaging with?" Xander demanded.

Angel turned to Blair, totally ignoring Xander. "He and this girl at school would rip into each other to the point that I kept waiting for one of them to bring a gun to their little tête à têtes."

"No way," Blair said as he looked back at Angel with wide eyes. "No fucking way. Do not tell me that he..."

"Yep," Angel interrupted. "He is now officially dating her, and Spike has announced that when I turn them, he will be taking a decade-long vacation on another continent until I teach them some manners." Angel chuckled for a second before his face lost all expression. "Not that I would turn them. I don't—I wouldn't—"

"Chill!" Blair held up his hand. "Man, I talk about killing my family all the time, and that so does not mean I'm going to do it."

"Besides, I wouldn't let you. I would be all 'not going there' boy if you pulled out even one fang," Xander warned. Both men gave him an odd look.

"Blair," Angel nearly whispered, his voice carrying that edge that made Xander's hand slip to his cinquedea.

"I see him," Blair said.

"Who are you with the seeing?" Xander asked in a rough whisper. Angel's hand came out and rested on Xander's shoulder.

"It's okay, it's just cousin Whistler the Hustler," Blair said with a sigh.

"I'll deal with him, you two stay here," Angel ordered as he started reaching over Xander. Xander grabbed Angel's arm.

"That a big old 10 on the not happening scale. Angel, you're good at the killing of random baddies, but this is the guy who convinced you to develop the hots for a 15 year old slayer, and I'm thinking he's probably more dangerous to you than random baddies—especially if Blair is right about his habit of obfuscating."

"Oh, I'm right. I'm totally right," Blair added.

"I'll be fine, just stay here," Angel growled. Right, like that expression worked on him, Xander turned to get out of the truck, and he found himself pinned to the seat by a hand too strong for him to move. "Stay here."

"Not happening," Xander said as he struggled without getting anywhere eventually, he gave up and just glared. "I'm following you the minute you get out of this truck."

"I can make you stay."

"Oh, you so cannot," Xander said as he poked Angel in the chest with a finger. "Look, if Whistler pulls a sword, you can go all grrrr on his ass, but if he's just going to try and talk you around a corner, you're so out of your depth. That's why I'll be there to verbally poke him back if he starts in with the stupid."

"Blair," Angel said, turning hopeful eyes toward him.

"Hey, leave me out of it. But if you're going to pull me in, I am so on Xander's side with this one."

"Ha!" Xander poked Angel's chest again, and the vampire got that stone-faced look he sometimes got right before he'd slam Spike into the nearest immovable surface, but no way was Xander backing off on this one. It'd taken him long enough to talk Angel out of the last bit of stupid he'd fallen for.

"You stay at my side, and you do not touch him," Angel finally relented as he let go of Xander's shoulder.

"Bully," Xander whispered as he pushed the truck door open and awkwardly scrambled out. Angel just landed next to him in one leap and immediately put a hand on Xander's shoulder, fisting the fabric and pulling Xander close. Xander might have repeated the whole bully comment, but he spotted Whistler for himself. The man looked like a used car salesman, although Xander really liked his shirt. Angel walked over, half escorting and half dragging Xander who couldn't quite keep pace.

"Angel," the man said as they neared him, and he really was going for the used car salesman vibe with that accent.

"Whistler."

"You've made a few changes since I saw you last. Gave up the rats then, have you?" Whistler's words made Angel go stiff, and Xander could feel his own temper rise. Yeah, Angel had been pretty stupid thinking that doing nothing made up for doing bad, but it wasn't like he had a whole lot of help in the figure it out department back then.

"Is there a problem with Acathla?" Angel asked, his voice calm even if his body was stiff.

"Not now, no," Whistler shrugged. "Denver? Are you sure you want to bury that thing on cursed ground?"

Xander frowned. "Wait, Denver's cursed? They built a city on cursed land? Okay, that's stupid like building a town on a hellmouth level of stupid,"

"Not Denver, just the place we're going," Angel said, and the fist holding Xander's shirt moved so that Angel had an arm flung over Xander's shoulders. "The Northglenn Mall in Denver is on land that is cursed so that people can't find what they're looking for. The Native People have a powerful artifact buried there, but no one knows what because they can't find it."

"Um, can I say that's a pretty dumb place to build a mall?"

"That's humanity for you," Whistler shrugged. "I sometimes wonder what cousin Malachi sees in them," he said as he looked toward the truck. Blair was finally pulling up for his turn at the pumps.

"Um, human here," Xander objected.

"You don't have to be you know," Whistler said, and Xander hadn't even totally deciphered those words before he was thrust behind a growling and vamped Angel who had both hands around Whistler's throat.

"Hey, whoa there. I wasn't doing anything to your little friend!" he argued as Angel slammed him into the side of the gas station. A couple of truckers glanced over before walking quickly in the other direction. There were way too many lights around here for Angel to do his dark crusader act, but obviously he was not big with the thinking right now.

"You try to hurt Xander, and I will rip your guts out," Angel snarled, his fangs making the words hiss like a demented something not really in full control of the dement. Xander made a mental note to look that word up when he got home.

"Hey, I wouldn't dream of touching him. But you need a seer."

Angel pulled Whistler away from the wall and slammed him back against the brick. "Leave. Him. Alone." Each word came with another slam into the wall. Whistler's hands scuttled over Angel's arms.

"Angel," Xander said as he grabbed one arm. "You're big with the freakiness here. Let's not kill Blair's cousin, please. People are watching." Angel slammed Whistler into the wall one more time before he dropped the D'fatum demon and backed off several steps, shoving Xander back with him.

"I'm just making the offer. If he wants to be a seer, it's his choice," Whistler said as he rubbed his throat. "No need for violence."

"Hey, if it's a choice between demony or non-demony, I’m choosing non-demony, no offense to the demons in the audience." Xander tried to stand at Angel's side, only to have Angel grab him by the neck and pull him close. Okay, a few demon genes might not be bad if it meant a little less man-handling.

"Leave him alone."

"It's his choice, and I respect that," Whistler said, but it was a little hard for Xander to really judge the honesty of that since he had a nice view of Angel's armpit as the stupid vampire held him embarrassingly close. "But that's not the only issue here."

"What do you want?"

"To tell you the truth," Whistler said in a smug voice.

Xander punched Angel as hard as he could. The idiot vampire didn't even react, but a second later, he did loosen his grip so that he held Xander close without forcing Xander's face into Angel's body. Xander rolled his eyes as Angel's arm caught him around the chest and held him. Big, over-protective boob. Only not so much with the boob because there were no boobies. Now that Xander was turned around, he could see the amused way Whistler was looking at him. Humiliating much?

"As I was saying," Whistler started again, "there's something you need to know about that soul of yours. The curse... it has a little catch on it."

"What?!" Angel demanded, his eyes still yellow even if the bumps had retreated. The silence was deafening as Whistler looked thoughtfully around the parking lot, and if he didn't stop with the over-acting, Xander was so going to kick the demon in the shin.

"It has a little happiness clause attached," Whistler shrugged, and Xander narrowed his eyes at the manipulation. Oh yeah, this guy was dribbling and drabbling information out to get Angel worked up, and from the way Angel's arm tightened, pulling Xander tight against his chest, he was guessing that it was working.

"What clause?" Angel demanded when the silence continued too long.

"If you have a moment of perfect happiness, that soul is going to come popping off and 'poof,' the old Angel is back in business. Only now, you'll have a hundred years of repression and self-denial to make up for."

Xander stopped breathing, panic racing through him on cold little feet as he thought about that. He knew all about Angelus. Back in the early days when Xander was trying to keep Angel away from Buffy and Angel was trying to just keep Xander away, he'd heard all sorts of Angelus stories from Angel himself, and that wasn't even counting the stories Giles managed to slip in at every possible opportunity. Part of Xander voted for disbelief and repression, but even Blair said that Whistler couldn't out and out lie. Oh, he could obfuscate and garble and manipulate, but not lie.

Angel was freakily still, not even bothering to breathe as his hands clutched Xander for long, long minutes. People walked past them having perfectly normal lives, and Xander couldn't even wrap his brain around just how bad this was. This was hugely bad. This was... this was worse than Xander could even imagine, and he couldn't even figure out what must be going through Angel's brain because the vamp was not all with the emotionally healthy when it came to his vampy past.

Angel had gone emotionless, which wasn't a good sign. "Is there a spell, something to stop that from happening?"

Whistler was already shaking his head. "Nothing can stop the clause from kicking in the minute you have perfect happiness. The curse will end and you will be left without a soul."

Something in Whistler's words made Xander stop and pay attention.

"I can't stay, then. I'm dangerous," Angel whispered.

"You are more dangerous than you know," Whistler agreed, and Xander could feel Angel's grip loosen. If Xander had to guess, he would say that Angel was about two seconds away from doing a runner. He grabbed Angel's arm to keep that from happening.

"Wait," Xander said. "So, the whole happiness clause... it's not for kinda happy or having a really good day and coming home and finding out the friend vacuumed the Cheetos dust off the couch... it's just for perfect happiness?"

"Yep, that's the deal. And then his soul goes 'poof' and you're front and center for the grand reappearance of the old Angel, the scourge of Europe, the vampire who wiped out entire villages, and the bane of nuns everywhere. You could be ground zero for a spectacular disaster, kid."

"Xander, you should—" Angel started to say. Xander interrupted him by laughing. Not just chuckling or chortling but out and out laughing. And then Whistler got this pained expression, and Xander laughed even harder. God, Angel was a goober to fall for this guy's line, and clearly, he was so ready to fall for it again.

"Fuck, you're good," Xander said as he finally got himself under control. "You overact a bit, and the whole winding Angel up... that could use a little work with the lack of subtlety, but the gloom and doom and nuns thing... you're good."

"Xander?" Angel asked in a voice that made it pretty clear that he thought Xander had just pretty much lost his mind.

"Listen to what he's saying," Xander said.

"He hears me. He's risking destroying everything he loves... again," Whistler said with confidence.

"And the chance of that risk is what? Point-zero-zero-zero-one percent?" Xander demanded. "Angel, he said you have to have perfect happiness. Perfect as in not a bit of worry in there with the happy, and that is just not in you."

"It might be," Angel said, but Xander could hear the uncertainly.

"Trust me, it is not in you. Unless you lost your freaking mind and went all delusional, there's no way for you to be perfectly happy. Let's say I lost all my powers of annoyingness, and Spike and Drusilla came back and they were suddenly soul-having and Buffy forgave them and thanked you for being the back-up she'd always needed and my parents dropped dead of heart attacks and Giles got called back to England and the new watcher didn't have that English stick up his ass. I mean, that's pretty much perfect, but I know you. You'd still be worried about the next slimy thing trying to kill Buffy or Spike being Spike, soul or not, or me blaming you for my parents' deaths or the return of my annoyingness. You worry about whether the sun will come up tomorrow. You worry about your hair, and as a vampire, can I just say that's a little freaky. But the point is, you worry. It's your defining trait, so you being perfectly happy would only happen if you went perfectly, temporarily, blindingly delusional with the lying to yourself."

Xander could tell he was making some progress when Angel pulled him close and turned to glare at Whistler. "Is he right? Is the chance that small?"

"There's no calculating the future. I just know that it's a very real possibility."

"So is me getting hit by lightening. But trust me, we are all in way more danger if you drive Angel away, so what is up with that?" Xander asked.

Whistler sighed and crossed his arms. "Kid, you are just screwing everything up here, aren't you?"

"It's my extra-special talent," he agreed without taking too much offense.

"He's right, then? My soul isn't in immediate danger?" Angel asked.

Whistler sighed again. "You had a nice clear destiny ahead of you... not a pretty one, but a clear one. Now, now I can't see that much," he shrugged. "You're tying yourself to a human, and humans... well, they don't have any sort of clear future. They just bang around from one point to another. But separate yourself from him, and you'll be in on the big, final battles."

"On the side of good or evil?" Blair asked as he wandered up to them. "Cuz," he greeted Whistler.

"Blair," Whistler said as his mouth got a nasty twist.

"Demons shouldn't give up their destinies for humans. They shouldn't tie themselves to humans," Whistler said, completely ignoring Blair's question, and Xander didn't think that Angel missed that.

"Oh yeah, because that would be way too human of them, except Angel was human once, and he didn't exactly sign up for the demon upgrade plan," Xander pointed out.

"Keep telling yourself that, kid. If you say it often enough, you just might believe it, but Angel is exactly where he put himself."

Blair shook his head. "Maybe. Only now he's putting himself out of your game, man. He has that right, too."

"The Powers that Be aren't going to be amused. And you," Whistler poked a finger in Blair's direction, "are on their shit list."

"Yeah, yeah, what's new? So, how's Aunt Petunia? Is her garden doing any better? Did she try the coffee grounds?"

For a second, Whistler just stared at Blair. Then he got a crooked grin on his face, but Xander was still not liking any expression on this guy. "You're headed for disaster, Cuz, but she thinks you’re a genius with azalea."

"I told her!" Blair said triumphantly. "She just didn't have the soil acidic enough for them. So, are you through trying to make your little prophesies of gloom and doom or do you have something more to add?"

"The danger's there," Whistler said as he looked over at Angel meaningfully. Xander could feel himself prickle up with a need to say something really biting and sarcastic, only he couldn't think of anything to say.

"Man, danger is everywhere," Blair countered. "You come in with all this destiny crap and you completely ignore the fact that we all have choices."

"And you ignore that some of us have destinies," Whistler countered. "And hiding from it does not make it go away." He looked at Angel with more than a little disgust.

"Jackass," Xander whispered, and Angel's arm tightened in warning.

"If it's really his destiny, he'll find it on his own with Xander at his side. He so totally does not need you with your gloom and doom act," Blair said as he crossed his arms. Whistler looked from Angel to Blair several times before he shook his head and just walked away.

"Xander," Angel said softly.

"Don't even think it," Xander warned. "If you're about to get all happy, I'll do something to torture you, like ask you to explain dominant and recessive traits in corn or something."

"If I have a destiny out there that isn't pretty, I shouldn't drag you into it." Angel said the words, but his arms just tightened around Xander, so it was pretty much clear what Angel really wanted. It was weird. Xander knew that Buffy and Willow loved him, but he never felt like they needed him. And now, here was Angel with his buff shoulders and his scary fighting skills and his way out of control bossiness, and Xander still felt like Angel needed him more than everyone else in his life put together.

"Man, don't go trying to make his choices for him," Blair warned as he reached over and shoved at Angel's arm. "It's bad karma. Besides, as a human, he has the right to choose."

"And if I don't like the choice?" Angel asked.

Xander answered for himself. "Suck it up and live with it. You bought me, and all purchases are final." This time, Xander actually managed to make that sound teasing without the sharp edge of earlier. "And don't worry about the happy because after that stunt, I will make sure you are never happy again," he said, smiling as he caught Blair's expression. He was trying hard not to laugh, and the expression on Blair's face nearly pushed him over into laughing himself.

Angel gave a pained sigh. "I don't suppose there really is much chance of you ever letting me have any peace and quiet, much less happiness."

"Oh man, happiness is not even necessarily happy," Blair said, which was not really making sense to Xander, but Blair kept right on going anyway. "This one human actually wrote about how humans invented happiness as an excuse to give up on striving to become something better or more real. He says happiness only exists as some pathetic attempt to justify mediocrity."

"Okay, that's sounding a little slightly totally depressing," Xander pointed out as Blair started walking toward the café, and Angel urged him to follow.

"That's Nietzsche for you," Blair shrugged.

"Hey, Willow talks about him. He wrote books, right?"

"Yep, and he was crazy as a bedbug, probably with a meningioma in a right side of his brain, but who knows. Personally, I say that it's all about the choices you make," Blair said as he pulled the door to the café open.

"You do know I have no idea what that word means, right?" Xander checked. Angel actually managed to let him go long enough for Xander to walk in the café on his own before Angel's hand landed on his shoulder again.

"Brain tumor," Blair clarified. "So, do you two have any plans while I catch a couple of hours sleep out back?" Blair winked at the waitress as he took the photocopied menu and slipped into a booth. Xander followed, not at all surprised when Angel slid in next to him. The big vamp might never admit it, but Xander was guessing that he was quietly freaking out. Xander let his hand rest on Angel's knee and really, really wished that Spike was still around. A good round of Spike-beating always put both vampires into a much, much better mood.

"I'm clueless. I don't even know what state we're in," Xander admitted.

"Colorado," Angel offered. "And I don't think there's much to do around here, but we could find a private spot and do a little sparring."

"Otherwise known as kicking my ass over and over while offering not encouraging words of untruthful encouragement like 'you can do it' when I clearly can't," Xander said ruefully to Blair. Blair laughed.

"Or you could work on your homework," Angel added darkly.

"Hey, sparring sounds good, we should so spar," Xander said brightly. Angel reached over and popped him on the shoulder hard enough to make Xander glare at him. "Nice, beat up on the guy who's dedicated his life to keeping you from the happy." Angel didn't answer as he studied his menu looking for something with enough crunch to be satisfying for a vampire who didn't actually need to eat. This was as close to happiness as either of them needed to get. And seriously, how crazy was Whistler to expect anyone to find perfect happiness? But Xander was relieved that the odds of perfect happiness were so crazy-stupid impossible because he kinda liked Angel with the soul still attached.

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